Style Schizophrenia

2 E Thompson Ave., Springfield, PA 19064

I promise you these are all the same house.

2 E Thompson Ave., Springfield, PA 19064

I guess 1993 was a good year?

2 E Thompson Ave., Springfield, PA 19064

Ugh, Mercator projection. Totally ruins it.

2 E Thompson Ave., Springfield, PA 19064

I’d complain about the open toilet but I’m just so relaxed, like I’m at the beach.

2 E Thompson Ave., Springfield, PA 19064

Did I say the beach? I meant the library. Yeah. That.

Found by: Christin C.

About the Author

Marty E.

Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

12 Comments on "Style Schizophrenia"

  1. I’d clean the toilet and update the decor. Otherwise, decent house, and I love the library!. The stonework exterior is pretty substantial.

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  2. Denita TwoDragons | July 1, 2013 at 12:47 PM |

    Apparently the wallpaper glue was *really* strong. :-p

    Frodo’s right, the place would be lovely once it’s been toned down. I’d start with that “What the F**K am I looking at?!” mural in the first pic up there.

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  3. Emerald63 | July 1, 2013 at 2:06 PM |

    Handsome stone exterior, beautiful hardwood built ins and trim, chandeliers, stained glass, crown moldings, vintage bathroom fixtures, beadboard wainscoting… what’s not to like?

    Oh, yeah… the wallpaper and carpeting. But, ya know, I’ve heard those can be changed. Please.

    As for the… interesting… large room encompassing mural… It’s a shame someone worked so hard on that, given it’s overwhelming nature. Too many clouds, too intense a blue, and really, who could paint over God creating Adam? (I assume that’s a dome within the circle and we simply can’t see Adam in this view.) I actually like the receding grid pattern and the fun little structure. But In that big a room with a relatively low ceiling, something’s got to go and I vote for the too-dark ceiling. Perhaps a much paler blue above the grid, with few to no clouds, paler still on the ceiling, and super pale or just plain white inside the circle/dome.

    Given the size, age, gorgeous extras, and 2.4 acres right near/in Philly, I’d say this place is a steal at $725K. Just the amount of fun I could have redecorating this place would be darn near worth the price. :D

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  4. So what about the wallpaper?????? This place is amazing, and it’s on 2.5 acres!!

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  5. I think this is the sort of real-life situation on which the movie “Beetlejuice” must have been based: some deranged poser got loose in a gorgeous old house until the resident spirits put a stop to it… and well that they did, before the lunatic reached any of the lower floors.

    How do you paint over a mural of… ?

    Well, particularly since when I looked at the first picture (above), all I could make of it was the giant, malformed head of Jabba the Hut (possibly wearing a brass helmet) looming over where the bed would go…

    I’d recommend a brisk once-over with a power sander and two coats of a high-quality penetrating primer. Just to be sure. :D

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  6. Emerald63 | July 2, 2013 at 2:25 PM |

    @anodean: If you really want to be sure, you need to nuke it from orbit. Just sayin’…

    About the subject of the painting… if you put your head down to the right, you can make out the figure of God (in a pink robe, no less) from Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” from the Sistine Chapel.

    Oh, and before you get started with that power sander, you might want the local priest to do an exorcism. You wouldn’t want that crazy image returning of it’s accord after bothering to sand, prime, and repaint.

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  7. @Emerald63: Oh Emerald… Now, given your superior skills of Art Assessment, I can readily assure you that this situation is far from threatening and will not require the professional intervention you envision.

    In this case, the owners have just been ‘exorcised’ by the house – a house which, as any decent structure shaped by builders of faith stemming from the Reformation, saw its last nerve snapped by the unholy combination of idolatrous and sacrilegious vanity being applied to that ceiling – and acted before they could finish.

    If you walked in there with a rented sander…

    You could erect your scaffolding of three-legged chairs and bowling balls, and it would stand steady as a rock. You could daisy-chain a dozen lamp-weight extension cords full of snarls and not only would you never trip, they would not overheat. In fact, if you went to step off your board while leaning into the work, unseen hands would gently reposition your heel.

    I was wrong. It would only take one coat of primer – and that only because you’d need to be sure to properly seal the fresh, smooth face of the open plaster exposed by each pass of your machine.

    :D

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  8. @anodean: “This is my sculpture! Do you think I want to die like this?”

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  9. @JMixx: Hee hee!. :)

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  10. I had to go look more closely at that room (presumably a bedroom? or study?) with the blue carpeting and the green-and-red splotched wallpaper. At first I thought that walllpaper depicted frogs, perhaps feasting on large red dragonflies, but, on closer inspection…OH DEAR LORD. I could never use that room–I would feel like the whole world was watching me…from every angle…

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  11. @JMixx: Let’s “Go for the Creepy Gold” and add little eyes to all the continents! Then turn it into the guest room… for mothers-in-law!! Mwahahahahaha!!!

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  12. Awesome, Em!!!

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