The B&B option would seem to be out, as there are only 6 bedrooms (no mention if that’s just the main house or includes the guest house). Perhaps a private celebrity retreat/spa? Too bad you’d have to already have celebrity level money just to get that enterprise off the ground. Spa fixtures ain’t cheap.

So, how long is this admittedly gorgeous white elephant going to sit empty? Or perhaps be sold to an “overseas investor”? It’s a sad day when a listing’s high end rating is also it’s one fatal flaw.

“Ponies sold separately. Seller makes no warranty of rainbows. All wild grasses may contain dangerous insects, reptiles, and other wildlife and conceal irregular terrain. Always wear sun block, insect repellent, and appropriate safety gear when exuberantly dashing about any outdoor area. This property reflects the dreams of the seller. Your dreams may vary.”