I’m filling the locks that opened the door
To stop my mind from wandering
Where it will go

And it really doesn’t matter if it’s wrong I’m right
Where I belong I’m right
Where I belong.

See the people standing there who disagree and never win
And wonder why they don’t get in my door
I’m selling my house in an unusual way –

And when my mind is wandering
There I will go
And it really doesn’t matter if I’m wrong I’m right
Where I belong I’m right
Where I belong.

Silly people run around they worry me
And never ask me why they don’t get past my door
I’m taking the time for a number of things
That weren’t important yesterday
And I still go

I’m using a hole where the neighbor gets in
And sets my mind to wondering
Where it will go…

(With apologies to the Beatles)

Actually that may be a bonus. Buy it, insure it, wait until it burns down. Collect insurance money on it. Build new cheap student-friendly flats. Rent them out through a management company. Never ever step foot there yourself. Profit.

Bwahahahaha!
———————

The fact that occupancy of the adjoining units cannot be verified is a frightening prospect, especially since access can be obtained through the basement and no one is around to maintain and monitor fire alarms. Some crack addict breaks into the unit a couple doors down and accidentally lights the place on fire. You won’t know it until it’s too late.

>Psst, buddy, wanna buy a crack house?<

Oh man, are there lights and sirens going off around this one! "…none of the units appear occupied…" You mean the listing agent doesn't know whether it's occupied?! And the owners will only take cash? “…fully finished basement”? Finished in the sense that it’s done for. “Pending inspection”? I’m thinking maybe they shoulda done that before they listed this place. Unless the sellers don’t actually, you know, own it. It was sold at public auction last fall and some of the photos have what look like official paperwork displayed on doors and windows. So maybe foreclosure on the auction “winners”? “No Trespassing” from the health department? “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”?

Capping it all off, Pic 2 at the listing seems to show a pair of navy blue underwear hanging on a branch over the narrow walkway behind the building. And speaking of narrow walkways… this one reminds me way too much of the one behind OJ’s guest bungalow, the one where Kato Kaelin said he heard mysterious thumps.

A minor upside – it’s only a couple of blocks from the university. So, conveniently located depending on your situation.