I saw this listing and just couldn’t resist. The designer of this home really nailed it.

But I don’t know, personally I think I would get board after a while.

I wood go on, but I think it’s time to branch out and try something new.

Now you see it…

Now you don’t!

Thanks to Kathy, who sent this one in. She remarks:

It’s as if they have a kitchen only because the condo or local codes requires one. But the kitchen is not the only wonder to behold…

Indeed!

Take this nondescript hutch, for instance…

BOOM! Giant liquor cabinet.

And check out that bathtub faucet. Wow.

There’s certainly something to be said for picking a theme and sticking with it.

Here’s one of 7 almost identical photos of the house.

With all those multiples, a descriptive list will work here.

There are… multiple Persian carpets (too many to count), as well as at least 2 medieval style tapestries; 8 (or possibly 9) fireplaces; at least 4 athletic facilities, including both indoor and outdoor pools and the obligatory regulation indoor tennis court (with added basketball capability); several dramatic staircases, one of which overlooks the tennis court (Pic 49); a plethora of terraces, covered porches, and balconies; 2 inglenooks (Pics 15 &24) plus one quasi-inglenook (Pic 26), all boldly colored; and enough storage space for you and several dozen of your closest friends to ride out the zombie apocalypse in comfort.

So what is there only one of?

To start with, a ceiling fresco, but with multiple cupids, of course.

Your own private village square with dog, but with multiple shopfronts garages, of course.

A purple home office with a sole, purple folk art rooster, but with multiple mystery appliances, of course. (Seriously, what are those things?)

One swimming pool rock waterfall, but with multiple rocks, of course. Although… there is only one “speaker” rock (lower left foreground).

And finally, one lone giraffe, but with multiple spots, of course.

Oh, and there are multiple plants throughout the house for Mr. Giraffe’s foraging pleasure. Of course.

[Special thanks to Marty for locating this 12 minute walk-through video. Turns out there are indeed 9 fireplaces and the mystery appliances are washers and dryers.]

That’s certainly an interesting piece of sculpture, and it appears a lot in this photo set. It seems odd that the listing photos would focus so much on a piece of art when the home itself is… well, have a look for yourself:

Apparently burritos are good business.

Never before on the market, this exceptional contemporary home was originally built for Steve Ells, founder of Chipotle.

Not surprisingly for someone in the restaurant business, this place has one of the nicest kitchens I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the other side of the kitchen, and a conspicuous shot of that sculpture again:

And of course what rich person’s modern home listing would be complete without the obligatory shot of the pristine garage with their sexy luxury cars?

Okay, back to the sculpture again.

Also: I hear some of you on this site like… stairs?

All right, let’s close it up with yet another shot of that sculpture.

There are lots more great photos on the virtual tour. Just beware, that link auto-plays a dumb video by default. Click “Photos->All” on the upper-left to stop the music and get to the pictures.

Cool art, bro.

Dig that all-black kitchen with the metal buck bust.

I’m not sure if the bedroom is really that red. Might just be the photo processing. On the other hand…

Obviously the bro that’s selling this loft is a fan of red.

So much going on with this home. The foot shot is just the trip tip of the iceberg.

The listing agent does a pretty good job of describing this place:

Wildly creative spaces are throughout this masterpiece of a home built in 2013. “Bright textiles, eclectic styles mixed with tastefully neutral tones” describes this house to a tee. A mix of industrial, modern and classic – all under one roof that makes the most refreshing elegant and comfortable living. There is not another one like it!

Okay well I’m not sure about that “tastefully neutral tones” part… I mean, I guess the walls themselves are relatively “neutral.” But everything on and inside the walls…

Torsos for the win.

The really crazy thing about this place is that it’s not in Los Angeles, or San Francisco, or even Las Vegas…

It’s in Oklahoma City.

Groovy den.

Even the outside is multi-color:

Just $2.8 million and all 8,122 square feet can be yours.

See if you can guess the year this place was built just by looking through these photos…

Here’s what I assume is the “great room.”

And from the other side of those windows, the pool room, complete with its own oddly-placed fireplace:

Once we get into the smaller rooms, the decor gets… eclectic. There’s the orange room:

The blinding yellow room:

The… whatever this is room:

Just yikes. I don’t even know.

Here, have some hideous pink:

According to the listing description, the kitchen was remodeled in 2004. Here’s what they decided to put in:

Ew.

The giant 59-photo set also includes two shots of this rather odd exterior space:

Here’s the hero shot of the front of the home, which actually looks kinda nice from the outside:

So, have you guessed the year it was built? I was thinking ’80s or maybe ’70s after looking through the photos… The actual year: 1979.

For just $1.45 million it could all be yours. Just be sure to set aside another million bucks or so if you want to drag the interior spaces into the twenty-first century.

Seems like with all the negative press around the “rebel flag” these days, you might not want to feature it prominently in the listing photos for your home. I guess things might be different when the home you’re selling is in Nashville, Tennessee.

The home itself has some nice detail work…

But it also has some oddly modern-looking spaces:

And some confusing ones:

And some spaces that look back at you:

Asking price for all this: $16.3 million.

At 22,000 square feet and over five acres, it’s quite the estate. Of course, if you buy it you have to live in Nashville, so there is that.

I guess when you can afford a $16.5 million condo, you don’t have to care what anyone thinks of you or your taste in “art.”

Nothing says “I am super classy” like plastering the walls with scantily-clad ladies.

In nearly every room.

Blech.

With a great playground just across the street…

A nicely refinished living/dining room…

And even a master bedroom with a fireplace…

And then… you discover… The Basement!   ~ Shriek! ~

What do you mean, it’s not the set of a Vincent Price movie? You mean it’s like this all the time?! AGGGH!!!

Given the lush natural surroundings, the owners of this home might almost be forgiven for trying to tone things down inside.

But then again, this is Mercer Island, Washington…

where winters can be long, dark, and dreary and many folks require a cheerfulness supplement to their daily routine.

But no. In this home, not even the entertainment room is entertaining.

Somehow, though, a vestige of humanity has managed to survive…

because at least they spared the children.

See, all the dangerous influences of a society “out of control” can be overcome.

[P.S. – This listing went off the market but you can still find the photos over on Zillow.]

The Upper East Side of NYC is a rarefied atmosphere, the proverbial lap of luxury. With the Guggenheim next door and the Metropolitan Museum of Art just down the street, it’s one classy neighborhood, underscored by the $23.5M price tag on this single floor co-op. With that sort of clout a bit eccentricity is to be expected with, say, the choice of decor palette…

…or the scale and number of large patterns. Or both. This “interesting” color-pattern combo continues in the bedrooms.

Oh. My… Well, at least it can’t get any worse. Probably.

OK, I was wrong. Take all of the above and add… sage-green striped bedspreads? And a trellis patterned carpeting with… a turquoise background?

I’d ask someone to pass the Pepto Bismol, but I think they used it all on the ceilings.

If you hadn’t guessed already, you finally, truly know it’s bad when this hallway is actually a relief.

Horizontal bead-board isn’t usually associated with luxury, let alone painted turquoise, but at least it’s (somewhat) better than this chair with extremely odd upholstery…

I… uh… what?

If there were such a thing as a Crime Against Prime Real Estate this place would be guilty of multiple counts.

Still, it’s nice to see a friendly face because, other than him, this place looks like it ought to belong to Iron Man. You know – Tony Stark.

OK, so there are a few splashes of color…

But even the dog doesn’t rate anything exciting. Hopefully he’s friendly.

Then again, his name is Italian for “scam.”

So… how about that Listing Butler?!

You’re looking at the interior of a 117-year-old, six thousand square foot home in Bronxville, New York listed at four million dollars.

Note: If this page was slow to load for you, it’s because the photos for this one are huge. You might want to right-click on each picture and open in a new tab or new window to fully appreciate them.

Here’s the exterior:

Inside again…

For once, the listing agent gives us some back story to explain the eclectic decor:

Two very different artists live in this house; one does caricatures and collects historically significant bronze animal sculptures, the other creates wildly colorful installations, sculptures and paintings, which are spread all over the interior…walls, floors, cabinets and ceilings. Their South African heritage, together with items brought back from travels to India, Mexico, Ethiopia, Mali, Burkina Faso and Morocco blend into eclectic, international interiors.

That is actually pretty delightful.

Some of the rooms are relatively subdued…

Others, not so much…

I thought the shot below was on the “subdued” list…

…then I saw the taxidermied cat and the stuffed cat flanking the door.

I think those giant clutching hands are actually painted directly on the wall.

The decor definitely isn’t my thing, but the house itself sure is neat.

That is quite the interesting piece of art.

So where do you get a piece like that? I’ve got a guess…

Yeah, looks like it’s an original.

The house itself is quite nice though:

Lovely modern home in a quiet wooded setting. Let’s just hope the art isn’t included in the sale.

The back porch is even better.

The open plan living room/kitchen/dining has great potential.

And the bathroom is fantastic.

If only you didn’t have to look at the outside to get to the inside…

According to the listing, it’s a “rare, beautiful new build… with all the attention and care given to match the neighborhood.” So, how does one do that when the final product doesn’t match any known style?

But I wasn’t paying attention and fell into the trap – the Time Machine Trap.

Assorted eras began to fly by, starting with the terrifically tiled 1950s…

segueing into the Kumbayah sentiment of the 1960s…

and landing in the citrus-loving 1970s.

Luckily, the trip ended with a timeless – and simply wonderful – backyard terrace.

Or a restatement of the Bauhaus aesthetic?

Is it a setting for a traditionally chandeliered, bay windowed bedroom?

Or an angular, multi-colored room of repose?

Is it a funky, modern sculpted, distressed floored music hall?

Or an overblown, Erté-infused Art Deco luxury bath?

Or maybe even just classic kitsch, aka folk “art”?

Or is all this confusion merely a misdirect to draw attention away from…

The Mysterious Backyard Hatch of Doom?!

And there’s no need to waste the underside of a roof, either, when you can show off the seldom seen sight of clay tiles from below.

And while you’re at it, why waste stair risers?

Waste not, want not, as they say.

Water… check.

Wood… check.

Stone… check.

Window treatments… not so much.

Just remember, as much as you can see out, others can see in.

…and even traditional Spanish-inspired colors.

But then variations come into it.

More and different colors and patterns keep popping up…

…and popping out. Eyeballs, that is.

They start at the private courtyard entry, repeated black rectangular elements.

They continue in the living room.

They also feature in the bedroom, along with a very unique bed.

And you can even see them from the backyard.

You’d never guess from the listing they’re not the weirdest thing about this house. That’s it, there, on the right. Huh, I wonder if Fred and Wilma are home?

For your decor, ya got yore wagon wheel ceilin’ with long-horn accented ceilin’ fan.

Ya got yore sculpted chandelier that casts a humdinger of a trail ridin’ shadow.

Ya even got yore solid turquoise water trough!

And looky here! Ya got a wagon-load of trainin’ paddocks, not to mention top notch stable facilities. (That there’s horse storage space for you city folk.)

It starts with crudely-corrected crooked exterior shots, and it just gets weirder when you go inside…

Nothing like a creepy over-the-top cat-themed bathroom to make you feel at home.

Also important to note: The doors do in fact go all the way to the floor. Well, this door, anyway.

Someone seems to have desaturated the kitchen.

Um, nice… heater… I guess.

That… is a lot of antlers.

And one more on the table behind the sofa, just for good measure.

Nothing else really all that kooky about this place, other than the fact that it’s a $4 million listing in an Iowa suburb of Omaha, Nebraska…

For some salespeople, the Internet is just a fancy sales brochure.

Wow, this condo building is so warm and inviting!

Is that a bedroom or a holding cell?

Wow. That is a lot of grey and blue.

What kind of person builds a one-color house like that?

I guess the same kind of person that puts 9 statues at the top of a giant staircase in the back yard.

Maybe it’s better inside?

NOPE.

From the listing description:

This is a one of a kind property that you must see in Rancho Del Rey area within Chula Vista. The property has been known around the neighborhood as the house with the clock or the marble house. Take advantage of this rare opportunity. The 2769 sq. ft. house is located in a cul de sac with its privacy and on a rare 13,000 square foot lot. If you like entertaining this will the property for you. It has so many different distinct features. with a pool.

“So many different distinct features.”

The rest of this house is just a nice, partially-updated 120-year-old home. But that bathroom… Whoa.

I actually saw this one in person at an open house, and these photos really do not do justice to the visual assault you experience when you walk into this bathroom.

It’s not just the ceiling and the furniture upholstery that matches…

Check out the tiles on the edge of the kitchen counter. That is dedication.

More dedication on display in the kitchen.

Not a fan of that pattern? How about this slightly different one? We’ve got it on the ceiling, chair, and drapes…

No? How about plaid?

Okay okay, one more try… You like pink, right?

Right?!?