Just 22 minutes from downtown Portland, this $7.2 million manse has pretty much everything…

Outside, it’s all castle. Inside…

…it’s also castle.

Except when it’s desert oasis.

Or Arabic domes.

Or giant… ceiling… compass?

Okay, back to castle.

Nope, just kidding. Time for a modern theater.

Or how about this rainbow workout room?

Okay let’s close on the castle watchtower.

It’s certainly nice, but you’d think they would be able to decide on just one style.

Or a restatement of the Bauhaus aesthetic?

Is it a setting for a traditionally chandeliered, bay windowed bedroom?

Or an angular, multi-colored room of repose?

Is it a funky, modern sculpted, distressed floored music hall?

Or an overblown, Erté-infused Art Deco luxury bath?

Or maybe even just classic kitsch, aka folk “art”?

Or is all this confusion merely a misdirect to draw attention away from…

The Mysterious Backyard Hatch of Doom?!