I was raised with authentic vintage beams and planking…

with hand-painted, ceiling-high murals…

and a scrupulously clean barn basement with stone walls.

Besides “a fine appreciation for history,” my barn also has “resort-style grounds with pool, cabana, gym and sauna”…

…as well as a wine cellar, appropriately located in the silo cellar.

It’s a respectable upbringing, being raised in a barn. As the sign says…

It’s A Wonderful Life!

What a location.

What a house.

This unique remote California desert home has been off and on the market five or six times since 2002. The current asking price on the “Volcano House” is $650,000. When Curbed wrote about it in 2009 the asking price was $750,000.

Every room has an amazing view. You know, if you’re into barren desert landscapes.

Because that’s pretty much all you get.

As far as the eye can see.

It’s about a 50 minute drive to Barstow, the closest town of any significant size. This place certainly seems like it would make a sweet retreat for someone in Southern California.

If you’re craving more photos, here’s a great Flickr set of the Volcano House by Chapman Publications. Amusing Planet has an article with some more details about the home’s background.

Also, CNNMoney did a segment on the house a few years ago:

Finally, here’s a cool night timelapse video of the house:

But it’s not just exteriors. Inside, you have your angled dining rooms…

your angled kitchens…

and your angled bathrooms.

If you feel the need for somewhat more metaphorical angles, there’s the uber private secret meeting room in the attic…

and the high tech “clean room” in the separate entry basement apartment (perfect for “plausible deniability”).

Just in case you need a reminder that, when in DC, you’re playing with The Big Boys, there’s always the view from your balcony…

where you can learn the angles from the best of them.

with modern lines and materials both inside…

and outside.

But there is one teensy issue…

It not only sits next to an early 20th century craftsman style home, but in an entire sea of homes from the same era…

Yup, there’s nothing like undisguised indifference to your surroundings for securing a friendly introduction to your new neighbors. Good luck with that!

This spaceship home in the middle of a 28 acre forest looks like something from the mid-century, but it was apparently built just 16 years ago.

I am definitely digging it.

Dig those sweeping curves.

And that wrap-around deck on the land side!

I don’t even care that the ceilings are a bit low near the outside walls. I am ready for spaceship living.

This relatively remote home an hour and a half north of Seattle is, according to the listing, “the historic 1910 Skiyou School House.”

Although the exterior has a unique look, the interiors look like any other normal home.

This is my favorite bit from the listing description:

Everything you want from a turn of the century home; original bell tower, fir floors, cloak rooms, vintage Monarch cook stove & enchanting character.

Yup, an “original bell tower” is definitely on the list of things that I want from a turn of the century home.

Unfortunately, it seems that the bell itself might not currently be properly installed.

The back porch is even better.

The open plan living room/kitchen/dining has great potential.

And the bathroom is fantastic.

If only you didn’t have to look at the outside to get to the inside…

According to the listing, it’s a “rare, beautiful new build… with all the attention and care given to match the neighborhood.” So, how does one do that when the final product doesn’t match any known style?

Appropriately, entry is directly into the yoga room, so you can get loosened up first.

Really get going with a few rounds on the indoor running track…

…then a few more in the lap pool.

Before settling down to domesticity, you can get cleaned up in the humdinger of a locker room.

Careful, though. With “room for a tour bus” in the garage, you may have unexpected company.

But when the landscape starts trying to close in…

then moves inside…

and possibly entombs you…

…you might end up needing an escape pod.

Behold, the heart of Rome! See both the ancient Senate House and the 19th century Unification Memorial from your very own premiere penthouse!

Walk the halls…

Ascend in style…

…to enjoy decadent dining in marble-clad luxury.

After dinner, enjoy a sumptuous bath…

…before retiring for some much needed, er, rest… yes, that’s it. Rest.

Nothing about this place is average, nothing at all. It’s not your average entry.

Or sofa.

Not your average bedroom. (A marble platform bed – really?)

Or bathroom.

And especially not your average listing butler.

If I had to choose one word for this home, it would be “exquisite.”

I’m not a fan of the desert, but maybe I could become one for this house.

List price: $3 million.

So many great details.

Obviously $3 million goes a lot further in the desert than it does in a big city like San Francisco or New York.

So, so much further.

There’s even a video tour:

Lots more photos and some backstory can be found at the source story from The Verge.

As in, hope you have a whopping $25M if you like this… house.

Or has the Mother Ship just landed? It’s weird, it’s wonderful, it’s the late Bob Hope’s house in Palm Springs.

And hey! It’s on sale – big time!! That $25M price tag? That’s more than 25% less than the $34M they were asking just this past January.

*That’s* a relief… I could *never* have afforded $34M.

From the listing description:

Bold + Iconic + Legendary + Timeless = The Bob & Dolores Hope Estate. Mere words cannot describe this majestic and historical piece of architecture which was the largest private residence designed by John Lautner and commissioned by legendary Bob & Dolores Hope. The property has entertained dignitaries from all over the world and is viewed by many as one of the most iconic pieces of architecture in the world.

According to the Zillow Blog, this home has “a maze of ramps” instead of stairs inside.

Also inside, this:

Not into modern art? No problem, just step over into the dining room…

So much going on here. Funny that the listing agent (quoted in the above-linked piece on Zillow) describes it as “a very peaceful house.” With this many different styles I feel uneasy just looking through the photos…

Where do you even find someone to build you a crazy custom house like this?

Does the phone book have a section for “fantasy architects”?

Haha just kidding as if anyone uses a phone book anymore.

Seriously why do they even make phone books still? I wonder if you could grind up unused phone books and mix them with water and a bit of glue to make a type of sculpting clay, then use that clay to build a house like this.

This see-through concrete box in the Arizona desert has been off and on the market for over five years.

Number one reason it’s not selling? Well, based on the strategy on display, either the listing agent or the seller think the biggest problem is that it’s priced too low.

In March of last year when this home was featured on Curbed the list price was $4.6 million. In November of last year it was hiked up to $5.6 million. Last month it shot up to $7 million.

Maybe people just aren’t that into living in a concrete box in the desert?

Also: what is this photo even of?

Anyway, it’s pretty to look at I guess, but $7 million? Hmm… maybe try… dropping the price instead of raising it? Just a thought.

Check out those groovy ’60s curves.

Inside is just as groovy, if perhaps a bit of a brick overload…

Those large white overhangs certainly make for an interesting effect inside.

If you live in the Chicago area, don’t expect this unique home to host an open house:

PRIOR TO CONFIRMED APPT PROSPECTIVE CLIENTS TO PROVIDE PROOF OF FUNDS TO LISTER!

You can tell they are serious because of the all-caps and the exclamation point.

I’ve seen a good number of modern US homes made to look like castles, but this Connecticut listing takes the cake.

Like, it’s not even a close competition.

Half an acre… That’s not the lot size, that’s the size of the house. It sits on 75 acres, which includes most of a very large pond.

It doesn’t let up inside. Check out the sky painted on the ceiling in the kitchen:

Am I really looking at someone’s home here, or is this some kind of amusement park?

$45 million bucks and it’s yours.

I found this flyover of the property on YouTube:

From the sounds of the stories of this place I found strewn across the Internet, the home and its owner have a… let’s say “colorful” history:

• Mysterious Fortress: Entrepreneur rankles some local residents, Woodstock officials
• A Man’s Home is His Castle…
• A Millionaire Steel Mogul With A Petting Zoo Refuses To Pay Child Support
• Woodstock Castle Makes for Unusual Tale (Google Cache, page 2)

$45 million would probably pay quite a bit of past-due child support.

Here are some choice quotes from a few of the above articles:

Until recently, a Web site, www.castle-models.com, advertised that an international modeling agency was operating at the castle, which is in a residential area. The Web site displayed pictures of young women listing their “ethnic look,” measurements and details such as the number of piercings and tattoos they have.

An excerpt from the mission statement listed on the Web site said, “Just one look at the shapely form of beautiful women brings about physiological changes that our senses will not allow our minds to deceive, nor pretend does not exist. And with the laws of attraction in hand, comes desire, intrigue, and lust, which man has learned to exploit and sell as if it were a commodity.”

The Web site listed a rate of $125 per hour for a model to do a photo shoot, with a two-hour minimum requirement.

Whoa, that isn’t slimy at all.

If this waiver were to be granted it would be, in my opinion, the first step in a long carefully planned out process of turning this property into a cross between the Playboy mansion and Disneyland. … The castle is reported to have a TV and media studio where they can broadcast “live webcasts”. Did I mention the shower large enough for parties or the glass floor, the zoo or the 50’ bar? Do you see a pattern here?

Totally on the up-and-up.

The animals on the castle property also came up in the [2010 divorce] case. Mark has long run a nonprofit refuge for exotic animals called Wilderness Kingdom, Inc. Since 2004, the property has been licensed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture as a traveling zoo.

When a camel died in 2010, both Mark and Galt alleged the other was neglectful. In a motion filed on June 25, 2010, Galt claimed “the animals are not being properly taken care of” and “a camel on the property has recently died.”

In an email to Galt written on July 3, 2010, Mark countered that “when you sent the workers home and animals were not fed for 4 days, the camel lost a lot of weight since and died last week.”

Not sure how a castle this size can be a “traveling zoo,” but okay, whatever.

“I designed it and manufactured a lot of the components, it was a struggle building,” [owner Christopher Mark] says of the castle. But he’s clearly reluctant to provide more information about his unusual home. He asks if he could have someone cowrite the story with me. He says, “I’m worried because there’s been so much BS written about it.”

After I say no to a cowriter, he says he’ll call me back. He doesn’t. Three days later I try him again. Mark answers and again is friendly without providing details about the castle. He says he will have someone call me back later. Two days pass. I call again. No answer. About a week later I call one more time, a woman answers and says Mark will call back, he doesn’t.

Yeah, it’s all “BS.” So of course why would the owner be interested in sharing the truth?

Anyway he’s obviously tired of dealing with such a terrible burden, so why doesn’t someone just take this place off his hands. Come on, forty-five million bucks is a bargain you guys.

This house is incredible.

I’m just not sure that it’s all the good kind of incredible.

Is that furniture in the home theatre… glowing?

Classy! That’s exactly what I would want hanging over my living room.

Okay, that pool is definitely the good kind of incredible. Can’t say I’ve ever seen such a fancy, upscale pool in a private residence before.

All this can be yours for only 77 million dollars!

Here’s another one that’s less “looney” and more “lavish.”

Love the distinctive, unique shape of this home, as well as the finishes like the nice wood deck.

Is that basement just carved out of the rock below the house? Crazy.

Nice round second-story balcony, too.

Bonus: if kids get bored with the main house, they’ve got “Fort Apache” out back, complete with its own log wall.

Delightful!

Not many homes have their own Wikipedia page, but the John Sowden House does.

From said Wikipedia page:

Built by Lloyd Wright, the house is noted for its use of ornamented concrete blocks and for its striking facade, resembling (depending on the viewer’s points of cultural reference) either a Mayan temple or the gaping open mouth of a great white shark.

Note that we’re talking about Frank Lloyd Wright, Jr., the eldest son of Frank Lloyd Wright.

If you’re thinking that the pool and some of the home’s more modern-looking features seem a bit out of place, you would be correct.

The house, with seven bedrooms, four baths, and 5,600 square feet (520 m2), was listed on the market at $1,575,000 in 2001. It was purchased that year by Xorin Balbes for $1.2 million. Balbes, who said the house was “a wreck” when he bought it, spent $1.6 million to restore the house, though some of his alterations drew criticism from preservationists as well as Lloyd Wright’s son, Eric Lloyd Wright. In addition to restoring the stonework, Balbes converted the three-room kitchen area into a large open kitchen, added new upscale bathrooms, and installed a pool and spa in the central court.

The almost-glowing velvet furniture throughout is an odd choice as well, in my opinion.

Here’s a shot of one of those new bathrooms:

Wikipedia is silent on the subject of the koi pond, but other sources online indicate that it too was a modern addition.

Speaking of fish…

Plus, more of that weird velvet furniture.

The spotlight in the living room is an interesting choice. I suppose when one lives in a famous home like this, it feels like the spotlight is always on you. It’s metaphorical, you see.

Additional photos can be viewed on the virtual tour.

Okay I for one think it would be awesome to have gargoyles on my front steps.

Plus, the house they’re guarding is amazing:

Yeah, I’m pretty much in love with this home.

If you click through to the photos on the Windermere listing for this home, you’ll find more details about the home’s history from its grammar-challenged listing agent:

Built an 1892, as seattle’s rebuilding itself after the great fire of 1889, designed by renowned Victorian architect Thomas Bird, mandated to design a residence of grape portions and coffin of opulence, suitable to the owners perceive standing in the burgeoning Seattle elite. A bold statement of the promise the machine age, a declaration of entrepreneurial palace, masterfully masculine, meticulously reincarnated and painstakingly restored of the last 15 years by its current owner. It’s 5,500+ square feet of commanding Eastlake-Victorian architecture has been lovingly amplified with over $300,000 in period or period-appropriate restorative work.

Can’t say I’ve ever heard the phrase “coffin of opulence” before. And “grape portions”? Really?

There is quite a bit of beautiful hardwood in this home, though.

Interesting mix of old and new in this bathroom with the wood walls and all-glass shower cube.

Oh, and did I mention there’s a hot tub?

With a view?

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go buy a few lottery tickets…

From the submitter, Emerald63:

Fancy living the life of a Tudor king? Or having one pop in for a bit? Try this 1914 Historic Register beauty, which has actually hosted royalty. It took 1,000 craftsmen 7 years to renovate, so it ought to be fit for royalty!

From the MLS listing description:

One of the finest examples of Tudor architecture in the US on almost 8 flat secluded acres in central Los Altos Hills. Listed on Federal Hist Registry(low Property Tax) and updated for a 21st Century lifestyle. Host to royalty and world leaders, Recent multi-million dollar 7+ year renovation by 1000 craftsmen. Compound 4 Separate structures, incl. guest house, Ballroom, Fitness/caretaker facility.

And from the listing agent’s website:

The Morgan Estate is one of the grandest homes in California; locally, only Filoli and the Chateau Carolands compare. Inspired by Speke Hall in Great Britain, The Morgan Estate was built by Percy Tredegar Morgan, a San Francisco businessman whose many accomplishments included starting the California Wine Association, which was the largest winery in the world at that time.

If your home doesn’t have its own name, you obviously haven’t arrived.

Also, if your pool doesn’t have fountain arches, you’re a poser.

Tree house living…

Outside…

Inside…

Right down to the bathrooms!

So cool. I love how the home is virtually invisible in satellite views of the area. Plus, a creek runs through the property!

I would buy the heck out of this house. You know, if I had half a million dollars lying around.

Because why wouldn’t you want to spend $9.2 million to live in a home that looks like some kind of factory from a futuristic movie, or maybe a mega-church’s building?

The architecture is definitely unique, but the interiors are a bit too sterile for my tastes.

Interesting decor in what I’m assuming is the kid’s bedroom.

I do like the simplicity of the pool though. Just a clean blue rectangle on a trimmed lawn, with a great view. That’s my kind of relaxation.

This is another one of those listings that really more amazing than “looney.”

I mean, they did overdo it on the HDR on a few of the interior shots…

But that view. Whoa.

This shot from the “virtual tour” is pretty great, too.

Seems totally safe. Have fun, kids!

I wonder how often these funky domes need to be painted to remain that bright, considering their location in the middle of nowhere, Arizona.

I would think the sun would be pretty harsh on such a vibrant paint job.

I like how they continued the curved aesthetic even throughout the interior of the house pods. That’s some kitchen.

But really, glass blocks was the best you could come up with for the bathroom? That’s a little sad.

For the fanatical fungus-lovers out there.

No word on if the home has a history of princess kidnapping.

I’d probably put up a turtle fence just in case.

For when your family room just really needs that “plummeting into the surface of the sun” feeling.

From the outside:

They even took the orb theme into the bathroom.

Seriously though, aside from some questionable color choices in a few rooms and a some mixed styles, this is a pretty cool house. Plus you get 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, and over 3,000 square feet for just $150,000.

But… you have to live in Houston.