Above: The primary listing photo for this $550,000 Philadelphia townhouse.

That’s a nice picture and all, but where’s the actual home for sale?

Nope, not here. But let’s have a closer look at the street art…

There are 14 photos on this listing. A grand total of two of those photos are of the inside of the actual home being sold:

So, basically the seller here is asking you to pay over half a million dollars for some historic scenery and funky mosaic art outside the home.

That’s certainly an interesting piece of sculpture, and it appears a lot in this photo set. It seems odd that the listing photos would focus so much on a piece of art when the home itself is… well, have a look for yourself:

Apparently burritos are good business.

Never before on the market, this exceptional contemporary home was originally built for Steve Ells, founder of Chipotle.

Not surprisingly for someone in the restaurant business, this place has one of the nicest kitchens I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the other side of the kitchen, and a conspicuous shot of that sculpture again:

And of course what rich person’s modern home listing would be complete without the obligatory shot of the pristine garage with their sexy luxury cars?

Okay, back to the sculpture again.

Also: I hear some of you on this site like… stairs?

All right, let’s close it up with yet another shot of that sculpture.

There are lots more great photos on the virtual tour. Just beware, that link auto-plays a dumb video by default. Click “Photos->All” on the upper-left to stop the music and get to the pictures.

I guess when you can afford a $16.5 million condo, you don’t have to care what anyone thinks of you or your taste in “art.”

Nothing says “I am super classy” like plastering the walls with scantily-clad ladies.

In nearly every room.

Blech.

In the dining room…

Even in the hallway…

Well, until you hit the home theater. It’s… um… different…

The busts are of Greek and Roman origin. Some are even of famous philosophers. But the theater is an Egyptian tomb reborn… with a dozen gold thrones seats. And a totally creepy black obelisk.

Even so, the Egyptian theater may not sport the weirdest decor. At least Greek, Roman, and Egyptian are all ancient. But this…?

Definitely a “Wait… what?” moment. I dunno, maybe the dolls count as sorta busts?

It has gorgeous views of the Scottsdale and Phoenix area.

It has some interesting spaces inside, including the kitchen…

…and the amazing master bathroom.

It even has a totally cool mural in, of all places, the garage.

But the real magic happens after dark, when the lights go out…

…and the black lights come on!

Now that is what I am talkin’ about!

That is quite the interesting piece of art.

So where do you get a piece like that? I’ve got a guess…

Yeah, looks like it’s an original.

The house itself is quite nice though:

Lovely modern home in a quiet wooded setting. Let’s just hope the art isn’t included in the sale.

They start at the private courtyard entry, repeated black rectangular elements.

They continue in the living room.

They also feature in the bedroom, along with a very unique bed.

And you can even see them from the backyard.

You’d never guess from the listing they’re not the weirdest thing about this house. That’s it, there, on the right. Huh, I wonder if Fred and Wilma are home?

For that matter, why bother blurring out your art, anyway?

What’s so secret about your paintings? Are they stolen, or just really tasteless?

I did find one piece of “art” that they didn’t bother to blur:

With an asking price of $2.65 million and presumably quite a nice riverfront view, you would think the agent would have take a photo or two that actually… you know… showed that view.

You would be wrong.

Apparently proper exposure and basic post-process layering are undiscovered skills in Tennessee.

Sure, okay. Why not?

In addition to… that… The seller also appears to have somewhat of a basket fetish:

So many baskets. I mean, not as many as this home from February, but still quite a few.

This home is basically the opposite of subtle.

The seller of this $1.8 million Vegas condo certainly likes “art.”

And naked ladies. With or without heads, apparently.

So, um… Yeah.

So much “art” the walls couldn’t contain it all.

Um. Okay. So, it appears to be a bloodied, possibly severed head lying on a beach.

Not exactly the “art” piece I would have chosen to put directly over my bathtub.

Or anywhere in my house.

Or anywhere within 50 miles of me.

Even the furniture in this home is “art.”

Okay so the whole-wall fake room painting/photo is pretty cool, I will admit.

Well, no need to imagine anymore, I guess!

I’ve definitely never seen a table quite like that. There’s probably a reason for that.

O-kay.

Wow, classy “art” in the dining room.

Who knew that Superman was a pool shark?

Tons more photos on the “virtual tour.”

There appears to be an eight-foot-tall green spider bearing down on this home.

Or maybe it just wants to go for a dip in the pool.

That’s a garden path I think I’d be avoiding.

The giant spider’s not all this home has to offer. There’s also giant dragonfly, with its own viewing room.

That’s one way to spend your evenings, I suppose.

Wow. I guess somebody really likes leopards.

This one kind of looks like it might just be from a personal photo shoot of one of the home’s current owners. Kind of an awkward thing to just leave up in a listing.

Much of this home has that extreme white-on-white-on-white theme we’ve been seeing pop up a lot lately. I guess white is the new black?

Um. I don’t think that’s an authorized usage of Disney intellectual property.

I kinda suspect that isn’t, either, but at least Bert doesn’t seem to be up to no good.

Hey wait a minute this looks like a totally different room than the first photo, but that looks like a reflection of the naughty Mickey piece in the mirror. Or maybe it’s just a miniature, mirrored version of the same piece? Confusing.

Nice. Another appearance of the suggestive seating to really round out the decor in this place.

Not the strangest, most offensive art we’ve seen in a home for sale, but also not the kind of thing I would choose to display prominently in a house I was trying to sell. I think this second photo has another dirty art piece, but it could just be my mind that’s dirty in this case. Judge for yourself:

Comments from the submitter, Emerald63:

This place will brighten up your day… and your night… and possibly your afterlife.

Indeed, that is a lot of bright colors.

Must be a pretty popular place though, to need that many plush purple chairs around the dinner table!

It’s very important to know where the nearest giant Marilyn Monroe mural is when I’m considering buying a house.

And what if I need to park my bike a few blocks away? This place has me covered, apparently.

Also: CVS!

Ooh look, if you zoom your camera way in from the rooftop deck, you can see the Washington National Cathedral! Special!

Here’s a park with a random dude running by.

I guess when the home in question is only a 429 square foot condo, there’s only so much of the actual listing you can show in 30 photos.

I guess these sellers really enjoyed Pulp Fiction?

..or they just like painting things all over their walls, apparently.

Guns! More guns!

Okay skateboarding SpongeBob is pretty cool.

In case you weren’t clear what inspired the… eclectic decor in this house, just refer to the handy neon sign on the right side of this photo.

I like how the cropping on this photo makes this neon sign say “lies.”

Wow these guys really like their neon. By the way, I’m pretty sure this one says “TRACKS,” not “RACKS.”

Because trains.

Not exactly what I would have chosen if I were going to decorate my living room with six foot tall paintings, but to each his or her own, I guess.

Okay the paintings I can forgive, but a round, leather, mustard-colored bed?

Yikes. No.

Oooo-kay then. Not exactly how I would decorate my bedroom, but to each his or her own, I suppose.

Perhaps the home is actually occupied by a robot. That would explain the metal fruit on the dining table. And maybe the giant workout model things are some sort of study material meant to inspire the robot to improve its similarity to the humans before it launches the final assault to overthrow humanity and enslave us all.

Seems like it would be a little difficult to relax in the living room when you’ve got a featureless figure lurking just around the corner.

Let’s check out some other part of the house.

Ahh, much better. Although I’m not really sure what a shot of a table with some flowers on it is really supposed to tell us about the house itself…

Bonus feature: Apparently it’s no biggie if you flood the bathtub.

So… Does the canine connoisseur come with the home?

Also, what’s with the flower-broom?

For some reason they were proud enough of that for it to feature prominently in the first four photos.

That’s bound to be disorienting.

Also in this listing… creepy lonely lady sculpture:

She even appears to be pose-able.

From the listing…

SUPER-SIZED AIRPLANE HANGER PERFECT FOR CAR COLLECTIONS! It’s climate-controlled, 60 ft. deep, epoxy floor, ready for your autos and special use. This custom-built hangar on Skyranch’s runway has a low-entry and was designed for a wide glider. Also stunning for entertaining and large parties, & the perfect man cave!

This has to be some of the most specifically targeted marketing I’ve seen for a listing. Not a lot of people really need an extra-wide climate-controlled hanger with an epoxy floor…

Also, a little further in the photo set, there’s this:

Wow. So tasteful.

Let’s get a few more shots of that cool glider airplane.

There, that’s better.

Okay so this one actually sold a few months ago, but it was just too bizarre not to share.

Seriously. Who would on Earth would…

1. have this up in their house
2. leave this up when attempting to sell their house
3. include a photo featuring this in their listing

The mind boggles.

Nobody can accuse this home of being just like everything else on the market, that’s for sure. From the lead photo of the contemplative statue staring out at the water to the giant mural that appears to take up an entire two-story wall, this home definitely stands out.

From the description:

Live in a work of art on Riviera Beach! For the unique person who appreciates beauty & distinction.

No doubt.

Imagine that you’re flipping through a perfectly normal set of quality, professional listing photos when—BAM! All of a sudden you’re staring at a glass nude sculpture, with a creepy-looking hollow-eyed reflection in one of the many surrounding mirrors.

Oh wait, you don’t have to imagine this at all. You just have to click through to the listing below.

Apparently it’s “Art Week” here on Looney Listing. In contrast to Monday’s home, this home’s art is a well-matched set. The only piece in the photos that I think might not be from the same artist is the dog sitting upright, wearing a royal robe. Wait, what?

Yup, you heard me. Best I can tell, this next one depicts some sort of arsonist donkey, proudly surveying the burning house in the background as small flames lick his feet.

I think this last one is meant to be deep. Or something.

See what I did there.

I did some searching on the Google and wasn’t able to find any of these pieces online. Ten Looney Points to anyone who can identify the artist and provide a link.

This is probably one of the most eclectic collections of art I’ve seen in a single listing. We’ve got the weird smiling skull, then just one room over, some classic pieces…

…elsewhere, this… um… dove attack piece…

…anonymous butt…

…and finally:

In addition to the glossy children’s faces staring you down in this last room, you might also notice the same chair that was in the Los Angeles home from our “Golly Ain’t That Swell” post last month.