This listing was submitted by Lindsey T., who says:

Slightly terrifying but you just can’t look away :)

Personally I think it’s a little more than just “slightly” terrifying.

But I agree that I can’t look away.

What is even happening here?

Was the previous inhabitant of this home some kind of insane sentient cat?

I can’t even really tell what any of these rooms are supposed to be.

Just about the only recognizable room is the bathroom.

…and I can only just barely tell that it’s a bathroom.

Okay nope, I’m out. Done.

It has gorgeous views of the Scottsdale and Phoenix area.

It has some interesting spaces inside, including the kitchen…

…and the amazing master bathroom.

It even has a totally cool mural in, of all places, the garage.

But the real magic happens after dark, when the lights go out…

…and the black lights come on!

Now that is what I am talkin’ about!

blacksmiths, including one of a kind leaded windows with beveled glass panes…

plasterers…

and bricklayers (or brick-levitators, as the case may be)…

not to mention the ubiquitous fine art and furnishings on display in every room, as well as this unique fireplace.

The looniest thing about this Looney Listing is that those who designed and built the home, as the saying goes, chose wisely. And that’s pretty darn rare.

Start small with, say, an interesting but unimposing fountain at the entry.

Move up in complexity by increasing the scale…

…and number of materials.

Then expand your stage…

…set the mood…

…and Yowza! They don’t call it Paradise Valley for nothing!!

tile-work…

and stone-work.

Then again, details can be, well… pretty weird… as in an artificially distressed basketball court(?)

Or even one’s own private… “orgasmatron”(?!)

Huh. And I thought Woody Allen was a die-hard New Yorker.

And there’s no need to waste the underside of a roof, either, when you can show off the seldom seen sight of clay tiles from below.

And while you’re at it, why waste stair risers?

Waste not, want not, as they say.

But when the landscape starts trying to close in…

then moves inside…

and possibly entombs you…

…you might end up needing an escape pod.

For your decor, ya got yore wagon wheel ceilin’ with long-horn accented ceilin’ fan.

Ya got yore sculpted chandelier that casts a humdinger of a trail ridin’ shadow.

Ya even got yore solid turquoise water trough!

And looky here! Ya got a wagon-load of trainin’ paddocks, not to mention top notch stable facilities. (That there’s horse storage space for you city folk.)

Nothing about this place is average, nothing at all. It’s not your average entry.

Or sofa.

Not your average bedroom. (A marble platform bed – really?)

Or bathroom.

And especially not your average listing butler.

This see-through concrete box in the Arizona desert has been off and on the market for over five years.

Number one reason it’s not selling? Well, based on the strategy on display, either the listing agent or the seller think the biggest problem is that it’s priced too low.

In March of last year when this home was featured on Curbed the list price was $4.6 million. In November of last year it was hiked up to $5.6 million. Last month it shot up to $7 million.

Maybe people just aren’t that into living in a concrete box in the desert?

Also: what is this photo even of?

Anyway, it’s pretty to look at I guess, but $7 million? Hmm… maybe try… dropping the price instead of raising it? Just a thought.

From the submitter:

If you’re not very fond of straight lines, you’re going to like it here.

Indeed. There’s nary a straight line nor edge to be found here.

Quite the interesting bedroom decor there, with the combination of the zebra-print sheets and… is that a clear plastic nightstand full of shredded paper?

Oh, hi there bird.

Um, what’s up guys?

What, no Batmobile included?

I love that the Batstudy has 3 TVs… all tuned into sports.

I assume this elevator goes down to the Batcave, but there aren’t any photos of said Batcave in the listing. Probably too top-secret.

Sometimes Batman’s gotta relax, right?

Also great about this listing: the sheer number of televisions. I counted at least a dozen, including this one:

Because if you can’t watch TV behind one of your pool’s waterfalls, you’re basically a poser.

From the listing agent’s description:

Seldom will you find such distinctive, contemporary flair.

Slot machine in the dining room? That’s definitely distinctive.

Where do you even find furniture like that?

Check out the giant high-heel chair. Wowzers.

It’s the little details that make this place so amazing. Like the towel rack that’s held up by a pair of hands. Or the hairy face hand mirror on the counter.

Okay I will admit to lusting after that garage though. Dang.

From submitter Emerald63:

Can’t get enough loudly patterned floors, walls, and even ceilings, not to mention built-ins? Well come on in!

I like how every room has a wildly different pattern and theme than the one before. No wait did I say I like that? I meant it’s sort of hideous.

Okay well aside from the floral wallpaper I actually do kind of like the kitchen.

Whoa. That is some entryway. Dig the velvet yellow throne. Yikes.

From submitter Emerald63:

CLUNK!!! That was the sound of my jaw dropping at this stunning home that has the “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme” factor in spades! Who knew? A French chateau in… Arizona?!

Indeed.

Whoa. That is some kitchen.

Take that, zebra.

Wait, the bathtub has its own fireplace? This place just keeps getting better and better.

Angles: This roof has lots of them.

This home is a golf course condo, so of course they needed to feature a photograph of the owner’s… brushes and hat?

…and some poorly-lit rocks outside the window, apparently.

I don’t even know what this is.

Okay, I know what this is, but why is it so tiny?

And, why not throw in a fuzzy spy picture of some dudes playing golf.

Looks like whoever took this photo was on their way to dreamland as they hit the shutter.

Apparently the bathroom is sleep-inducing, too. I love the photograph of a tub on the counter.

Hey wait a minute, that the same DREAM from the bedroom? I think it is.

You like cacti, right? I mean, like, a lot?

Actually for a 7.5 million dollar property, I have to say I’m a little disappointed in the quality of some of these photos.

Over-exposed lights, a cluttered counter, and a cheap scale on the bathroom floor does’t exactly scream “lap of luxury” to me. How about we get back to the cacti.

Ahh, that’s better. According to the listing agent, this 10,000-square-foot home is “the Phoenix area’s largest and most unique estate.”

Here, have some random yellow arrows.

And a mine cart.

I’m sure that a place like this is totally sustainable in the middle of the freaking desert. Just $7,500,000 and it’s yours.

I wonder how often these funky domes need to be painted to remain that bright, considering their location in the middle of nowhere, Arizona.

I would think the sun would be pretty harsh on such a vibrant paint job.

I like how they continued the curved aesthetic even throughout the interior of the house pods. That’s some kitchen.

But really, glass blocks was the best you could come up with for the bathroom? That’s a little sad.

Apparently the key to making living in a lifeless desert marginally tolerable is sports cars.

Note how the imaginary rendered cars keep moving around so they are conveniently visible in almost every view.

Even inside.

Okay so the rear shot of this imaginary home hugging the hillside doesn’t appear to have the sports cars. Oh well.

For some reason the official listing photos on this one are tiny, but you can view a much higher-resolution set a Sotheby’s Realty.

Because just putting the address into the “address” field in the MLS isn’t good enough. Need photographic evidence that this really truly is the home’s address.

Also, apparently this next photo isn’t a good enough shot of the cooler.

Zoom in. Enhance.

Much better. So much more information has now been conveyed.

I was having a difficult time figuring out what the heck I was looking at in these photos until I read the listing description:

Lots of TLC has been put into this home, including the melon & chili pepper garden in the back yard.

Now I wonder why they didn’t also include photos of the chili peppers.

This listing has over 70 photos. Apparently the Phoenix-area MLS doesn’t limit how many photos an agent can upload, so some listing agents just upload any random thing that happens to be sitting on their computer. Like a kinda creepy close-up shot of a lady working out.

Or an even closer, even creepier shot of a lady getting a massage.

So I guess the message is “buy this house if you like to look at ladies”?

It’s Looney Listing’s 100th post!

To celebrate, here’s a lovely home for sale in Phoenix with an asking price of $100K. It features many fine qualities such as the delightfully rustic gate latch shown above.

Also, if you buy this home you get what appears to be the remains of a disassembled heat pump.

A blurry kitchen!

A well-established algae farm!

Some cables I guess!

Here’s to many more hundreds of posts to come!

From the listing…

SUPER-SIZED AIRPLANE HANGER PERFECT FOR CAR COLLECTIONS! It’s climate-controlled, 60 ft. deep, epoxy floor, ready for your autos and special use. This custom-built hangar on Skyranch’s runway has a low-entry and was designed for a wide glider. Also stunning for entertaining and large parties, & the perfect man cave!

This has to be some of the most specifically targeted marketing I’ve seen for a listing. Not a lot of people really need an extra-wide climate-controlled hanger with an epoxy floor…

Also, a little further in the photo set, there’s this:

Wow. So tasteful.

Let’s get a few more shots of that cool glider airplane.

There, that’s better.

Judging by the first three photos on this listing, I can only assume that the bathroom is the high point of this house. Check out the light!

And the drain!

And the glass blocks!

Seriously, check them out. Because the rest of the house… meh. Although the back yard BBQ space does look pretty sweet. Personally I would have led with that.

You’re looking at the primary photo for this Phoenix townhome. Yes, the fact that the Goodyear Blimp happened to be a few thousand feet overhead was more important than showing us anything about the house itself.

Actually, there aren’t any photos of the inside of the house in the listing at all. There is this nice shot of the bars around one of the community pools, though.

That’s just as good as actually seeing the thing they want you to pay $299,900 for, right? Right?

From the listing description:

9 baby fruit trees are doing very well in the back yard.

Okay first, this listing agent and I obviously have very different definitions of “back yard.” That is a narrow alleyway, not a “yard.”

And yet, they’re really proud of these trees, having used half of the listing’s 18 photos to feature each and every one of them individually.

…but not necessarily bothering to correctly rotate all of the photos. Or maybe some of the trees are growing out of a wall. Or something.

So… if I buy this house I can work out every day with a bunch of fit, young women? Is that the message here?

Yup, that appears to be the idea they’re trying to convey. At least with these two photos. The primary listing photo, on the other hand…

I have no freakin’ clue what that one is supposed to be saying.

Somebody is really proud of their ceilings.

Oh yeah, and also their floors.

But mostly their ceilings.