Nothing particularly noteworthy about this picture…

…but that didn’t stop the agent from shooting a second photo almost exactly like it, and including both of them in the listing.

And it’s not just the living that got the double-take treatment, either.

The bedroom also gets double vision.

I promise I’m not just putting two of the same photo on here. Go the listing and see for yourself.

Same treatment for the entry hallway, too.

Here’s a bonus shot that, despite being incredibly blurry, wasn’t taken a second time:

How do listing agents like this ever find work?

It’s hard to figure out exactly what happened here, but I’m pretty sure what we’re looking at are physical photo prints that were digitally scanned on a flatbed scanner.

Then just straight up dumped on the MLS. No cropping, no rotating… Nothing.

At 3 percent commission, this listing agent stands to “earn” $9,870 if this home sells. Maybe they can use some of the money to buy a digital camera, or at least some rudimentary photo editing lessons.

Wow. Just wow. A photo of some text on a computer monitor.

And weeks after the listing went live… still no actual pictures.

Seems to be a habit of this particular listing agent. Here’s another. And another.

The listing photos for this home are just inexplicable.

That one is the primary listing photo.

How about we check out the view? Surely you can’t screw that up, right?

Wrong.

And yet, somehow this home went to pending status the day after it was listed.

Something smells fishy.

OK, it’s just that they didn’t know about proper lighting for night shots. But maybe not.

Gee, maybe it’s all that bright Orlando sunshine causing glare. But maybe not.

Hmm… Perhaps the shots of smaller areas are better. But maybe not.

Uh, maybe they just woke up?

Or had a few too many?

I know! All together now, loudly enough for the guy in the projection booth to hear us, “Focus!”

Yeah, that oughta do it. But maybe not…

I can’t really put it any better than the reader who submitted it:

Looks like a grave site? And why is it sideways??

No idea.

That is a top quality photo right there. Definitely appropriate for a $1.2 million listing. Maybe it was just the lighting. Let’s give them another chance…

Nope, it wasn’t just the lighting. Wait, has this home been on the market since January 2008?!? The listing history seems to show it just having been listed a few weeks ago. I guess rather than bothering to shoot new photos, they just scrounged up whatever random shots they had lying around?

That’s the only way I can really think to explain this terrible collection.

I mean, a few of them even have dueling MLS watermarks! So ridiculous.

I guess I am old fashioned, but when a real estate agent stands to earn take a $36,000 commission, I expect at least some effort on their part to make the home look good in the sales material.

Forget photo slideshows. Cross-faded borderless collages are where it’s at.

It’s the real estate wave of the future.

Reduced for quick sale, Owner is packed and ready to go!!

Just a thought but maybe you should consider taking some decent photos before packing your bags.

Oh, and also learning how to correctly type in a price might help, too.

For that matter, why bother blurring out your art, anyway?

What’s so secret about your paintings? Are they stolen, or just really tasteless?

I did find one piece of “art” that they didn’t bother to blur:

With an asking price of $2.65 million and presumably quite a nice riverfront view, you would think the agent would have take a photo or two that actually… you know… showed that view.

You would be wrong.

Apparently proper exposure and basic post-process layering are undiscovered skills in Tennessee.

With a primary photo like that it’s hard to imagine why this home hasn’t sold after 100 days on the market in one of the hottest real estate markets ever. Wait, no. No, it’s not hard to imagine.

Such natural colors inside.

Do not want to know what is making that bathroom glow so yellow like that.

I’ll buy that sweet tie-wearing, mustachioed beaver, though. Five bucks.

Yup, that’s the primary photo for this “Completely restored Victorian Mansion in prime Mid-Town” Detroit, listed at $2.5 million. The really odd thing is that they have a decent exterior photo, but for some reason they buried it down at #49 of 58 photos.

Some of the other photo choices are interesting, as well.

Who wants to spend $2.5 million on a mansion just to have a bunch of people in apartments staring into your party yard all day?

Also, I’m not sure that “a view of Ford Field and Comerica Park” is really on the list of features that mansion-shoppers are looking for.

They do have some sweet stairs though, so there is that.

Honey, I shrunk the listings butler!

Wow, these are some pretty bad photos.

What kind of agent lists a $2.2 million house with photos this terrible?

Oh. That kind of agent, I guess.

Okay so the list price on this… place in Jacksonville is under $20,000, so I wouldn’t expect much.

However, I do sort of expect that the agent could maybe be bothered to take a photo with a device made more recently than 20 years ago. Especially when they’re only going to bother uploading a single photo to the listing.

No such luck.

You can tell that it’s actually the house that’s tilted, not the camera, because otherwise why would the agent have such a hard time holding the camera still for the interior shots?

Also, the residents had to evacuate quickly, which obviously explains the terrible mess left all over.

Okay I don’t have a good explanation for the recliner in the garage.

Ooh, but there is a full plate of cookies. Win!

Wow. This dark hallway really gives me a lot of useful information about this $275,000 Pennsylvania listing.

Um… Okay, what happened here?

Oh did I mention this is a church building? Apparently a relatively long-abandoned church building.

While the setting looks rather remote in the photos, it’s apparently in the middle of a residential neighborhood, right next to a freeway. Still don’t think I’d touch this one with a ten foot pole, based on the photos…

That’s the primary listing photo for this Portland home.

These are the only other two photos on the listing.

The listing agent stands to “earn” a commission of over $8,000 should this sell near its list price of $275,000.

Why am I not an agent?

Crooked, blurry primary photo, taken from an odd angle? Check.

Weirdly-sparse, poorly-lit interior shot? Check.

Horribly exposed shot of the view, taken through a window with lots of distracting reflections? Check.

Death ray in the bathroom? Check.

Okay, looks like we’ve got everything. We’re ready to sell a five million dollar home in Malibu!

Wow. Um… That’s one way to sell a house, I guess?

And that’s another way?

Okay um, what’s with the weird lines?

Sometimes you wonder if a listing agent was drunk when they uploaded the photos of the home they’re allegedly attempting to sell…

And drunk when they took the photos.

Actually, given the home’s decor…

…I can’t help but wonder if the residents were also drunk when they chose their furniture and accents.

So many questionable choices here.

Oh and if the printed baby face pillow isn’t creepy enough for you, how about this shot?

This next shot is the view you get when you wake up and find that the dolls have stolen one of your kidneys to sell on the black market.

Just lie down and relax. Here, this soothing wallpaper should help.

This place is a real piece of work.

A little tasteful HDR can make for some good-looking listing photos.

Unfortunately, the HDR applied to the photos of this listing is neither “a little” nor “tasteful.”

This would be a truly terrifying reality to live in.

The exterior shots are the least-terrifying of the set, but even those have an almost cartoon-like feel to them.

If I were the seller of this $1.2 million home, I would fire the listing agent and the photographer immediately. These photos are a bad joke.

Sometime you accidentally shoot a picture or two when you’re taking the camera out of your pocket.

Typically though, you don’t choose to use those photos as the first and second photo on the listing marketing a home for sale.

How about we take a look inside?

Okay… I think that’s the dining room? Here, have a blown-out hallway.

Maybe the listing agent should have just stayed in the car.

Looks like whoever took this photo was on their way to dreamland as they hit the shutter.

Apparently the bathroom is sleep-inducing, too. I love the photograph of a tub on the counter.

Hey wait a minute, that the same DREAM from the bedroom? I think it is.

You know, in case you wanted to know what your future home will look like to a fish.

Or maybe through a crystal ball?

Or maybe there’s nothing distorted about these photos at all. Maybe it’s one of those art project houses and all that stuff really is that warped.

Just a typical 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in rural Georgia.

Blurry, tilted photos that look like they were shot on accident as the real estate agent wandered through the house looking for the bathroom.

Price tag: $89,900,000

But hey, if you buy with a Redfin agent you get a $1,051,830 commission refund! Sweet!

Who’s “up” for some ping pong? No? Not to worry, you can get serious work done in this home, too.

As long as you can work with all the blood rushing to your head, that is.

From the listing description:

Legal 2 Family Can Also Be Used As Owner Occupied Professional Office With Owner Occupied Apartment On Top. Or Legal Two Family.

Because if anything says “professional,” it’s a real estate agent who can’t even be bothered to rotate the listing photos.

Three percent of the $600k asking price would be an $18,000 payday for the agent, should this home sell at its current asking price.

There’s nothing like a hard day’s work.

The listing description is what really brings home this “Make Me Move” listing:

A complete tear down, may have toxic substances, such as lead and lead paint, asbestos tiles, old paint spills, oil spills, huge amounts of scrap waste throughout the property including two decaying travel trailers, dozens of old tires, oil tank for the oil furnace won’t meet code, knob and tube wiring, foundation won’t meet code, unfinished ceilings in both bedrooms, mold in kitchen and bath and probably inside the walls. Best thing is the septic passed inspection, although we believe it was passed as a favor to us.

Bulldozing and burning the entire property probably won’t be enough to sterilize this toxic wasteland dump.

I certainly hope that all the problems with this property already made them move!

Heh, I love that they uploaded a “Photos unavailable at this time” image. Although I would have enjoyed seeing some of the toxic decaying scrap waste, too.

Hey look at that, it’s our first posting to feature an office space for lease. That’s still a listing, so it totally counts.

I especially like how the listing brokerage is so proud of their work here that they put their name in GIANT BOLD ALL-CAPS in the listing.

SAIL REALTY

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