As long as you don’t need a bathroom, or a kitchen, or parking, this tiny beach retreat in Seattle is perfect!

From the description:

Dream come true, yours for the taking! LEVITATING LIGHTHOUSE is a treehouse built on the bluff. Breathtaking city, mountain & sound views- this property is one of a kind! Built by & featured on Treehouse Masters. The levitating lighthouse is your recreation retreat. Everything stays. Go crabbing & salmon fishing. Rainwater catchment purification system. In the city but far away. Home featured on Treehouse Masters and written about in several articles.

Of course, there is some fine print…

Financing not available.

So, cash-only for this waterfront shack.

Oh, there’s also the minor issue that the city of Seattle may may demand that the treehouse be demolished.

But the city has its own problem with the property: It turns out [Property owner Ronald] Rae and the show host who built it, King County resident and renowned treehouse builder Pete Nelson, never got permits to put up the treehouse, which sits east of where several Magnolia homes were destroyed in a landslide in 1996.

After Animal Planet’s episode aired in 2014, the city sued Rae, saying the structure was too elaborate to be considered a childlike treehouse typically exempt from the building code, and it was on a steep hill next to the water. He was ordered to pay a $10,000 fine and get the permits to bring the 280-square-foot treehouse properly up to code by the end of this March.

If he can’t pass the city’s inspections, he’ll have to demolish the treehouse, according to the city. Otherwise he faces a $100,000 fine.

That would be a shame. The article is from January, but I can’t find any more recent information about whether the city has approved the treehouse or not.

Animal Planet has a nice video of the building:

The Seattle TV station KING 5 also featured the treehouse:

There isn’t really anything all that amusing about the photos on this one, but the listing description is hall of fame material:

You’re on the beach. The Amalfi Coast, say . .. The sun glints off the waves as Bougainvillea rustles in the breeze, turning the stucco every color from purple to gold. A sound makes you turn to see a pelican not 20 feet away . .. followed by a flock of 12, floating in a perfect V. Gratitude washes over you as you wonder how life could possibly get any better. Well . .. What if your seaside paradise was right here in Malibu? On a deep, dry beach, on a private road off PCH, with enormous wraparound decks, a breath-taking oceanfront master suite, a great room with chef-designed kitchen and a Club Room where you can screen movies or host a wine tasting from your 500 bottle wine cellar. All of this, plus multiple fireplaces, an exterior kitchen, your very own orange grove and views . .. from Palos Verdes to Point Dume. You’ve been promising yourself a reward and this is it. New construction from Jaman Properties: “The Sandcastle”

Lots of interesting sculpture in this one. Starting with the yard full of metal animals…

…continuing on the deck with the arms-up ladies.

Another arms-up lady.

Pretty sure that’s a third separate arms-up lady. Sort of an odd art obsession.

You better like ocean views, because that’s almost all you’re gonna see in this $28M listing.

Twenty-six pics with only *two* interior shots.

But you do get sailboat regatta *and* double rainbow pics.

I’m just not sure what they mean…

Other than the very creative photo featured above, most of the pictures on this listing are your typical multi-million-dollar beachfront fare.

What really makes this listing stand out (other than the $23M price tag) is the public agent remarks. Here’s an excerpt, slightly reformatted to better fit the form:

If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.
Space gluttons and possessors missing intimacy in bloom.

Fashion above the fray and vulgarity of wealth display.
Privacy, senses heightened, walking on water everyday.

Behold the surround and ever changing interplay:
Cumulus, clear blues, cliffs, caves, sea rocks and ocean spray.

Power on the point, perched above cove cradled bluffs, surf and sands.
Bathing in the soulful infinity of the sun’s warm hands.

All around Herons, Gulls and Egrets seek the sky.
Adoring trees offer branches and watch them fly.
Joyful dolphins jumping, involuntary sigh.

Now that is an agent that is actually earning their commission.

Also of note: The location of the listing is marked as an “undisclosed address,” but from the photos it is pretty easy to spot the home on Google Maps, placing it at 31885 Circle Dr., Laguna Beach, CA 92651