Still, it’s nice to see a friendly face because, other than him, this place looks like it ought to belong to Iron Man. You know – Tony Stark.

OK, so there are a few splashes of color…

But even the dog doesn’t rate anything exciting. Hopefully he’s friendly.

Then again, his name is Italian for “scam.”

So… how about that Listing Butler?!

Nothing about this place is average, nothing at all. It’s not your average entry.

Or sofa.

Not your average bedroom. (A marble platform bed – really?)

Or bathroom.

And especially not your average listing butler.

Honey, I shrunk the listings butler!

Wow, these are some pretty bad photos.

What kind of agent lists a $2.2 million house with photos this terrible?

Oh. That kind of agent, I guess.

And here we have the lovely enclosed patio, where you can relax, enjoy good company, and maybe hang someone in effigy from the ceiling. You know, whatever you’re into.

If only those happy kids on the bench knew what kind of stuff was going on inside, they would run. You know, if they weren’t made of bronze, that is.

Hey it’s a books butler.

I could do without the effigy and the other odd statues, but I’d be happy to take the Corvette…

Lots of extra photos on the “virtual tour”.

The listings butler strikes again! Er, well, his Spanish cousin does, anyway.

What I don’t get about this listing is how the same listing can feature this photo:

And then this one:

Really? They couldn’t even manage to level the camera? Sheesh.

Also, FYI. You’re basically a nobody if your 10,000 square foot estate doesn’t have a wall-mounted shark.

And a zebra rug in the wine cellar.

The more you know.

This guy pops up in the weirdest places.

Speaking of weird places…

Seems a bit odd to keep your kid’s / grandkid’s chair on top of the media center.

Wow.

Just wow.

Even the butler is speechless. Oh wait, that’s because he’s a mannequin.

…as is the pianist.

Wait, what? Is that… a chair made to look like a black lady? This place just gets more and more offensive.

Ooh hey, it’s that bubble chair again! The home’s only redeeming quality!

…and we’re back to the offensive decor.

I’m not sure which thought is more creepy, that they would photograph the wine cellar with a butler posing at-the-ready, or that it might actually be a wax sculpture, not a real person.

Personally, I’d much rather have C-3PO serving my wine than the guy in the first photo.

What I love about these photos is that it’s really not clear here whether the home owner is actually trying to sell their ($12M) home, or if they just wanted to show off all their cool toys online.