This one sold for $2.8 million last month, but I definitely couldn’t resist posting it anyway. Here’s the listing description:

This Hillsborough iconic landmark, seen from highway 280, is on the market for the first time in 20 years. In 1976 Bay Area architect William Nicholson designed the multiple domed home that is nestled into the hillside overlooking Crystal Springs Reservoir. Architect, Eugene Tsui, designed the “biologic” kitchen. Interesting rooms include a game room, the conversation pit, and the 3rd bedroom with a loft. This is an amazing opportunity for buyers who appreciate the architecture and design.

Some call it the “Flinstones” home, but to me the only true real-life Flinstones home is Dick Clark’s old Malibu home, which sold in 2014 for $1.8 million. You can read more about that home on Curbed.

I’d be worried about constantly skinning my elbows on the walls.

If I had to guess, I’d say the room above is probably “the conversation pit.”

I wonder if that stone table is made of actual stone, or if it’s a lightweight facsimile.

I… have no idea what this room is. But it has dinosaurs so it’s A-okay with me.

That headline isn’t meant to be metaphorical. It’s literal. Apparently the seller of this home literally kept their kid in the closet.

Storage room has been repurposed into additional sleeping quarters with IKEA juvenile bed and built-in shelving and drawers.

That’s one way to squeeze everything possible out of a 762 square foot condo.

From the submitter:

As the listing states, it’s a rare opportunity to enjoy this pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! :)

I can see why they led with the double rainbow. The home itself is… Meh.

From the listing description:

“Somewhere Over the Rainbow” lies a magnificent view from the home and the yard of this lovely home on Gleneagles. Walk through the doors that lead to a home far grander than it appears.

What does it mean?!?

What a location.

What a house.

This unique remote California desert home has been off and on the market five or six times since 2002. The current asking price on the “Volcano House” is $650,000. When Curbed wrote about it in 2009 the asking price was $750,000.

Every room has an amazing view. You know, if you’re into barren desert landscapes.

Because that’s pretty much all you get.

As far as the eye can see.

It’s about a 50 minute drive to Barstow, the closest town of any significant size. This place certainly seems like it would make a sweet retreat for someone in Southern California.

If you’re craving more photos, here’s a great Flickr set of the Volcano House by Chapman Publications. Amusing Planet has an article with some more details about the home’s background.

Also, CNNMoney did a segment on the house a few years ago:

Finally, here’s a cool night timelapse video of the house:

Cool art, bro.

Dig that all-black kitchen with the metal buck bust.

I’m not sure if the bedroom is really that red. Might just be the photo processing. On the other hand…

Obviously the bro that’s selling this loft is a fan of red.

This home has it all! Something for everyone. The “art” lover…

The garden lover…

The high-energy kids…

The high energy adults…

…wait a minute, is that a stripper pole in the workout room?

Anyway, moving on…

It’s got a castle for the little princess…

…and a sweet arcade room for the gamers.

Of course, for $34.5 million dollars, it had better have something for everyone. With nine bedrooms, seventeen bathrooms, and 14,563 square feet there should be space to fit pretty much anything you can imagine.

Where you can Curtain All The Surfaces!

Or play pool under a painting of people in a pool.

And this being SoCal, it’s all about the pool. It’s there, just beyond the see-through fireplace.

You’ll enjoy endless vistas from the best darn porch swings EVER…

Happy Hour at your personal tiki hut bar in the round…

…and a dinner venue with its own infernal internal lighting.

But in this best of all possible worlds, the best place to be is at the fire pit and in the pool… At.The.Same.Time.

Mai Tai, anyone? We’ve got plenty of little umbrellas.

In the dining room…

Even in the hallway…

Well, until you hit the home theater. It’s… um… different…

The busts are of Greek and Roman origin. Some are even of famous philosophers. But the theater is an Egyptian tomb reborn… with a dozen gold thrones seats. And a totally creepy black obelisk.

Even so, the Egyptian theater may not sport the weirdest decor. At least Greek, Roman, and Egyptian are all ancient. But this…?

Definitely a “Wait… what?” moment. I dunno, maybe the dolls count as sorta busts?

Ooh… it even has a cool castley type door!

OK, the “throne room” is a bit tacky, but at least it’s in keeping with the theme.

Wait a sec… this hand carved wood is probably supposed to be a wolf, but it sure looks like Anubis, Egyptian guardian of the underworld. Huh…

And this kinda reminds me of… an indoor gallows room?

I’m not sure I want to know where that lower stair leads, let alone… This Terrifying Tunnel!

A dungeon? Really? That’s carrying the theme a bit far, don’t you think?

What do you mean, there’s “more”? Oh no no no no no… not a… Subterranean Sacrificial Altar!!

Sweet Jesus, there’s even a convenient drain!

How’s that? It’s really just an old brewery?

Well, OK. But if I promise never to drink beer again, can you promise me I’ll never have to go inside it? Please?!

The sprawling 2,698 acre estate is now officially known as “Sycamore Valley Ranch” and the actual listing doesn’t even mention Michael Jackson, nor give any clues to the location’s previous life.

Here’s a photo from The Pinnacle List showing one of the more distinctive locations on the property:

There are many more photos to be had at the above links, and a few more generic ones on the listing itself, linked below.

Or a restatement of the Bauhaus aesthetic?

Is it a setting for a traditionally chandeliered, bay windowed bedroom?

Or an angular, multi-colored room of repose?

Is it a funky, modern sculpted, distressed floored music hall?

Or an overblown, Erté-infused Art Deco luxury bath?

Or maybe even just classic kitsch, aka folk “art”?

Or is all this confusion merely a misdirect to draw attention away from…

The Mysterious Backyard Hatch of Doom?!

A grand formal entry.

A power office as a backdrop for your redneck dream painting of a semi.

A killer rec-room with classic popcorn, Coke, and slot machines.

And the coolest thing money can buy…  Water.You.Can.Light.On.Fire!!!

In the (literal) man cave…

Behind a waterfall…

Even in the appropriately named hot tub…

Ahhh… Water, water everywhere, and every drop can burn!

To wit: The “Dukedom” of Chiltern, complete with opulent manor hall.

This stately dwelling features a reception hall fit to host monarchs…

…and a formal garden in which to enjoy one’s private moments.

From bottom to top, from the vaulted cellars…

…to the magnificent vista provided by the rooftop terrace, one’s new-found nobility will shine gloriously. Or would have…

…had this Dukedom not been The One That Got Away.

Yeah… some wanker beat us to it. Bugger that, then. (But a mate can dream, can’t he?)

…whose crowned porcupine crest appears in solid marble above the impressive entry

…who enjoy an indoor palm forest

…who feel the need for a terrace pavilion styled on a Greek temple

…and who choose the company of contemplative statuary on warm spring evenings.

…and even traditional Spanish-inspired colors.

But then variations come into it.

More and different colors and patterns keep popping up…

…and popping out. Eyeballs, that is.

They start at the private courtyard entry, repeated black rectangular elements.

They continue in the living room.

They also feature in the bedroom, along with a very unique bed.

And you can even see them from the backyard.

You’d never guess from the listing they’re not the weirdest thing about this house. That’s it, there, on the right. Huh, I wonder if Fred and Wilma are home?

For some salespeople, the Internet is just a fancy sales brochure.

Wow, this condo building is so warm and inviting!

Is that a bedroom or a holding cell?

Wow. That is a lot of grey and blue.

What kind of person builds a one-color house like that?

I guess the same kind of person that puts 9 statues at the top of a giant staircase in the back yard.

Maybe it’s better inside?

NOPE.

From the listing description:

This is a one of a kind property that you must see in Rancho Del Rey area within Chula Vista. The property has been known around the neighborhood as the house with the clock or the marble house. Take advantage of this rare opportunity. The 2769 sq. ft. house is located in a cul de sac with its privacy and on a rare 13,000 square foot lot. If you like entertaining this will the property for you. It has so many different distinct features. with a pool.

“So many different distinct features.”

100% tasteful.

Located on a $2.25 million half-acre lot in Malibu.

Fully stocked.

Oh look, lemons!

Inside is mostly bland, except for this bathroom…

Why would you need a mirror on the ceiling?

There isn’t really anything all that amusing about the photos on this one, but the listing description is hall of fame material:

You’re on the beach. The Amalfi Coast, say . .. The sun glints off the waves as Bougainvillea rustles in the breeze, turning the stucco every color from purple to gold. A sound makes you turn to see a pelican not 20 feet away . .. followed by a flock of 12, floating in a perfect V. Gratitude washes over you as you wonder how life could possibly get any better. Well . .. What if your seaside paradise was right here in Malibu? On a deep, dry beach, on a private road off PCH, with enormous wraparound decks, a breath-taking oceanfront master suite, a great room with chef-designed kitchen and a Club Room where you can screen movies or host a wine tasting from your 500 bottle wine cellar. All of this, plus multiple fireplaces, an exterior kitchen, your very own orange grove and views . .. from Palos Verdes to Point Dume. You’ve been promising yourself a reward and this is it. New construction from Jaman Properties: “The Sandcastle”

If I had to choose one word for this home, it would be “exquisite.”

I’m not a fan of the desert, but maybe I could become one for this house.

List price: $3 million.

So many great details.

Obviously $3 million goes a lot further in the desert than it does in a big city like San Francisco or New York.

So, so much further.

There’s even a video tour:

Lots more photos and some backstory can be found at the source story from The Verge.

This $3.5 million listing has four photos. The first two are duplicates.

Is that a dog… drinking from a pool?

I love how the watermark is basically the same size as the photos.

As in, hope you have a whopping $25M if you like this… house.

Or has the Mother Ship just landed? It’s weird, it’s wonderful, it’s the late Bob Hope’s house in Palm Springs.

And hey! It’s on sale – big time!! That $25M price tag? That’s more than 25% less than the $34M they were asking just this past January.

*That’s* a relief… I could *never* have afforded $34M.

From the listing description:

Bold + Iconic + Legendary + Timeless = The Bob & Dolores Hope Estate. Mere words cannot describe this majestic and historical piece of architecture which was the largest private residence designed by John Lautner and commissioned by legendary Bob & Dolores Hope. The property has entertained dignitaries from all over the world and is viewed by many as one of the most iconic pieces of architecture in the world.

Is it supposed to look like the blue man is being shot? Because that is what it looks like to me.

Other than the interesting choice of sculpture out front, the home is your pretty typical multi-million-dollar modern mansion. Oh except that it’s in Oakland, which is another interesting choice.

My luxury stove. Look at it.

My luxury wall. Look at it.

My luxury hand. Make peace with it.

My luxury movie room. Behold it in full Technicolor.

That’s an… interesting floor.

Okay let’s be clear here. This is a freakin’ mansion.

With a list price over $6 million.

The photo selection is a bit odd, though.

Obviously the agent is really proud of all the detail work.

I mean really proud.

Oh, and the view.

Also: guess who got their hands on a “drone” and engaged in some illegal commercial activities with it?

If you guessed “the listing agent and/or photographer of this home,” you win!

Um. Whoa.

Where do you even get bathroom tile like that.

I mean seriously.

As the submitter commented to me: “these owners aren’t afraid of color!”

Crooked, blurry primary photo, taken from an odd angle? Check.

Weirdly-sparse, poorly-lit interior shot? Check.

Horribly exposed shot of the view, taken through a window with lots of distracting reflections? Check.

Death ray in the bathroom? Check.

Okay, looks like we’ve got everything. We’re ready to sell a five million dollar home in Malibu!

Do you ever get the feeling that some listings are less about selling the house…

…and more about showing off the owner’s cool toys and goodies?

I mean, those are cool pillows and all, but do we really need nearly 200 photos to adequately convey this home’s qualities?

Anyway I’m going to go down to the wine cellar (appreciating my awesome door handles on the way down)…

…grab a drink…

..and go relax in the pool.

Later!

With an asking price of 18 million dollars, you’d expect to be impressed—even in San Francisco, where a mediocre 1,100 square-foot row house goes for over a million bucks. Fortunately, this listing does indeed impress.

From the description:

Originally constructed in 1902 as a stunning replica of the Le Petit Trianon in Versailles France, 3800 Washington Street is San Francisco Landmark 95 and one of the City’s most grand estates.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the original Petit Trianon:

Upon his accession to the throne in 1774, the 20-year-old Louis XVI gave the château and its surrounding park to his 19-year-old Queen Marie Antoinette for her exclusive use and enjoyment. Marie longed to escape Louis and his court, and he gave her just the place… Marie Antoinette thought of the Petit Trianon as a ‘sacred place’, so she never had visitors. Swiss guards, gardeners, and maids never followed her there.

It doesn’t seem like this version would be much of an “escape,” given its placement on just over half an acre smack in the middle of Presidio Heights. Although Presidio Heights is “San Francisco’s most exclusive neighborhood” according to the listing agent, so there is that.

Most listings where the listing agent uses terms like “grand,” “soaring,” “copious,” “stunning,” and “irreplaceable” are barely even worth one such superlative.

I don’t think it’s going out on much of a limb to say that this listing is an exception to that rule.