At $1.2 million dollars, this home appears to be the only other listing in Detroit currently asking over a million dollars.

In the real estate business, this is known as “Not trying. Not even a little bit.”

Seriously, it would be difficult to take less useful and more terrible photos if you tried.

Gotta love all the clutter, too. It’s not just the agent that isn’t trying here.

Ever heard of this thing called a flash?

Anyway, mostly Detroit just makes me sad. I probably won’t be posting too many more houses from there, unless something really ridiculous comes up.

There is no indication in the listing description of whether or not the $220k asking price includes the rusting muscle cars.

I bet you could get them to throw in that half-empty shake, though. And the variety of poisons and toxic cleaners sitting right next to it.

Classic agent shadow. Nice touch.

I also love how there are still Christmas lights up on a house that was just listed in mid-September. Maybe they’re just getting an early start. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Surprise! for your 40th birthday, we decided to sell your house!

Also: We got you this pink car!

Nine of the eleven photos of this home are of the exterior or the view. Which sort of makes sense, given that the home sits on half an acre of lake front property.

If the rest of this home’s 4,519 square feet look anything like the two rooms they did include photos of… well let’s just say that I’m not too surprised this foreclosed home was apparently pulled off the market without selling.

Realtor: “Okay, if we’re going to sell this house, I’m going to need you to clean it up.”

Seller: “Umm…”

Realtor: “Well how about this. Can you at least mostly clear the floor middle of each room?”

Seller: “Umm…”

You’re going to have to use your imagination on this one, since this is the only photo that the listing agent felt like including.

The really weird part, aside from way too much green and the overall clutter, is that the glass box on the left appears to be the shower. Right off the living room. This seems to be confirmed in photos of other units currently for sale in the same building.

Weird.

What.

What.

What.

Oh and don’t bother cleaning up or anything.

It’s not like you’re asking strangers to spend nearly half a million dollars on this place or someth—oh, wait.

You might expect a home with an asking price of $1.35 million to have nice photos.

Ha ha ha. That was a good one.

Not only is there an ominous shadow looming over a large portion of the frame in a number of the pictures of this home, the sellers can’t even be bothered to tidy up.

If that pantry doesn’t say “luxury living,” I don’t know what does.

Sure, there’s something to be said for truth in advertising…

…but at some point it starts to feel like you’re just rubbing it in.

I mean, this set goes on for thirty photos.

I actually rather like the style and era of the home, but holy cow would it take a lot of money to make it livable. Livable to someone who isn’t a complete slob, that is.

To wrap up our impromptu “Out of Place HDR” week on Looney Listing, let’s behold this gem, also in Seattle, with an asking price of over half a million dollars.

I especially like how in the above photo the light on the ceiling is far brighter in the full-wall mirror than it is in the foreground. Magic physics!

Nothing says “let’s cozy up and watch some TV” like boxes piled to the ceiling. Oh and no furniture to sit on because there isn’t room for any furniture among all the clutter. So cozy!

Massively cluttered basement? No problem!

Just shoot that thing in over-saturated HDR!

Then everyone will be so overwhelmed by the hyper-reality of your next-generation photography skills that they’ll never notice all of the random crap covering every possible surface!

This listing is just chock-full of what. From the seemingly oblivious tenant using his tools to work on… um… wait, what is he working on in this photo? An invisible car?

Anyway, moving on…

…to the random collection of worn-out diner booths just shoved into some random room to rot…

…to the TV playing a game show for nobody in particular…

…to the tables full of junk in the jungle of a back yard…

…to the random extension cord running into the kitchen from who knows where.

Great find, Claire!

What a bathroom.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you love to prepare your next dinner… here?

Or lying down for a refreshing night’s sleep… here?

Or… um… well okay I’m not really sure what you’d do in this room, even if it weren’t covered in filth.

All this for only $300,000! What a steal!

“Hey.”

“Whatcha doin’ in my house?”

“Just earning thousands of dollars in commission. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of here in about five minutes.”

This listing is chock full of gems, including:

Cord Hanging Out of Window

Panda on Pink Bed

I Think This is the Basement… Probably?

[Update: An astute reader pointed out that the last photo above features a baby’s high chair. Scary place to feed your child…]