This listing is for a 680 square foot, single-bedroom condo in what looks like a relatively small building.

I guess when you’ve only got 680 square feet to photograph, you get a little bored…

Who could have guessed that 3745 Harriet Ave S would be located at the corner of 38th & Harriet?

So, is the buyer of this condo required to perform the “revolutionary Cuban cooking,” or do they just have to smell it all day every day?

Huh. So 3745 Harriet Ave S has the numbers 3745 on it. Weird.

I guess when you can afford a $16.5 million condo, you don’t have to care what anyone thinks of you or your taste in “art.”

Nothing says “I am super classy” like plastering the walls with scantily-clad ladies.

In nearly every room.

Blech.

From the listing:

River Mill is one of the oldest manufacturing sites in North Carolina

Not really sure that a factory is the first place I’d think to build a bunch of condos…

…a bit Spartan on the inside. But if stone walls are your thing…

I mean, that’s a pretty good size building after all.

What, the price is for only part of the building? OK. Um, how much of it?

492 square feet? Wait… wait… you’re telling me you want a quarter of a million dollars for a… a… a shoe box?

That’s it? that’s all there is? For how much?!

And I thought $1,000 for a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes was extreme. At least there’s a commensurate shoe box to go with them in Seattle.

The Upper East Side of NYC is a rarefied atmosphere, the proverbial lap of luxury. With the Guggenheim next door and the Metropolitan Museum of Art just down the street, it’s one classy neighborhood, underscored by the $23.5M price tag on this single floor co-op. With that sort of clout a bit eccentricity is to be expected with, say, the choice of decor palette…

…or the scale and number of large patterns. Or both. This “interesting” color-pattern combo continues in the bedrooms.

Oh. My… Well, at least it can’t get any worse. Probably.

OK, I was wrong. Take all of the above and add… sage-green striped bedspreads? And a trellis patterned carpeting with… a turquoise background?

I’d ask someone to pass the Pepto Bismol, but I think they used it all on the ceilings.

If you hadn’t guessed already, you finally, truly know it’s bad when this hallway is actually a relief.

Horizontal bead-board isn’t usually associated with luxury, let alone painted turquoise, but at least it’s (somewhat) better than this chair with extremely odd upholstery…

I… uh… what?

If there were such a thing as a Crime Against Prime Real Estate this place would be guilty of multiple counts.

For some salespeople, the Internet is just a fancy sales brochure.

Wow, this condo building is so warm and inviting!

Is that a bedroom or a holding cell?

Just $45 million (£30 million) for this super-tasteful London condo.

This site could probably feature nothing but Florida condos and I’d never run out of content.

Is there something in the air or water down there that causes the residents to lose all sense of interior design subtlety?

So much ultra-bold color.

What’s with the red box under the glass case in the bathroom?

At least the living room toned down the colors a bit. Those sofas and the giant horse “art” though… Yikes.

You’re looking at the primary photo for this cheap Dallas condo. I’m not sure if the condo is hiding in the bush behind the dapper statue, or what exactly is going on here.

From the listing description:

Copperfield is the Best Kept Secret in Lake Highlands. Beautifully-treed and landscaped community with private and professional security. Community Mailbox, Clubhouse and Pool. Nothing to do but move-in and start enjoying the easy life.

Apparently “how to take decent listing photos” is also one of the best kept secrets in Lake Highlands.

I… um…

…

What?

Most of the rest of this place is pretty normal.

I mean, “normal” for a $7.4 million South Florida penthouse condo, that is.

The seller of this $1.8 million Vegas condo certainly likes “art.”

And naked ladies. With or without heads, apparently.

So, um… Yeah.

So much “art” the walls couldn’t contain it all.

You like color? Look outside.

Or stare at your plants.

That’s it. Those are your only two choices here.

Bedroom? Desaturated. Bathroom? Desaturated.

Oh, one more thing…

Dead gazelle shrine for the win.

From the listing description:

Mount Auburn Village is a friendly little community of just 14 custom condos, created within & beside historic 1899 stone church. It’s 3 miles west of Harvard Sq, & 1/3 mi. east of Watertown Sq, , in the ‘best part of town’.

From a Redfin agent who toured the home:

This unit in a converted church offers exceptional craftsmanship but a layout that doesn’t really work for most people. Smallish master bedroom and bath.Very odd addition of an electric fireplace.to grand room seems out of place. The bell tower unit is much more interesting.

Here’s the listing for the tower unit (which has just one bedroom).

I can definitely see the “exceptional craftsmanship” the Redfin agent talked about.

…and the odd layout.

You can find lots more photos on the virtual tour

From the listing description:

Space is currently home to a private members only club with full kitchen, 2 bathrooms, storage and several meeting rooms.

Well it’s not quite so “private” anymore now, is it? From the decor, I get the feeling that this was a “guys only” kind of club.

You can even check out the full floor plan of this swanky 2,700 square foot pad.

Doesn’t really look like they’re the most organized club of all time, either.

This home is not for the easily distracted. So many crazy lighting effects!

Definitely not for the easily disoriented, either.

LED walls. Because we can.

Why shouldn’t your home have built-in screensavers on as many surfaces as possible?

One thing I can say for this place… At least the owner picked one crazy theme and stuck with it. If crazy lighting, dark colors, and lots and lots of reflective surfaces are your thing, you are in luck!

From the listing description:

Why rent? Own and move right in to this East Side corner unit with view of trees on the balcony. Walk to Miriam, near train, bus, colleges & highways! Bring offer!

Asking price: $12,100,000

Just a hunch, but I think they may have accidentally added a few extra zeros to that price.

Not only could the listing agent not be bothered to sweep up the dead roaches, but they took a photograph that appears to be primarily intended to feature the dead roaches. Wow.

Really looks like a nice place.

I also like how the listing shows it as “Undisclosed Address,” but then they include a photo that shows the address. The specific number at the beginning is a little hard to read though…

Okay there we go. So much for “undisclosed.”

Yo, listen up here’s a story
About a little guy
That lives in a blue world

And all day and all night
And everything he sees is just blue
Like him inside and outside

Blue his house
With a blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him

At first I thought the building was called “ACES.” I think that would have been a better name. Anyway, what’s with the dizzying shot looking straight up the side?

I especially enjoy that they followed up the straight-up shot with this equally-dizzying straight-down shot shot floating over the parking lot later in the set.

Turns out tall buildings are tall. Who knew?

You’re looking at the primary photo for this $186,500 condo in Atlanta. The most-attractive selling point of the home, according to the listing agent. Um. Okay.

This one’s not much better, but the listing agent liked it so much they included it in the listing twice!

Words fail me.

The photos themselves are quite nice, but with an asking price of two million dollars, wouldn’t you want to show potential buyers… you know… the actual unit for sale?

I mean, it’s a nice weight room, and a nice-looking sauna, sure.

But really? Just eight pictures and zero of them showing the actual penthouse for sale? Come on.

You’re looking at the full-sized, one and only photo for a 50 million dollar listing.

If this sells, the listing agent stands to “earn” $1.5 million, assuming a 3% commission. I think I might be in the wrong industry.