Not a lot to say about this one. It’s a fairly normal 2.4 million dollar listing, but as I was scrolling through the photos—BAM—that deep purple sofa just jumped out of nowhere.

I also appreciate that they’ve included the directly-above shot that I love.

…and about as small as one, too.

It’s so small – “How small is it?” – you can’t even see it from the street.

No, not the white one. The one lurking behind all the foliage on the left. So much for “curb appeal.”

It’s so small, you can see 90% of the interior in this one photo:

It’s so small, that path around the bed is all there is to the bedroom.

It’s so small, you can see one end of the front room from the kitchen and the other through the far bedroom door. Here’s a better look:

And…. Tha, Tha, That’s All Folks!

Well, OK, there is an extra room.

But the house is so small, the extra room is all the way out back…

…in an even smaller building!

The only thing not in on the “How small is it?” contest is the price. Or it was. The property sold for $350,000. And there ain’t no button in the world that cute.

So much going on with this home. The foot shot is just the trip tip of the iceberg.

The listing agent does a pretty good job of describing this place:

Wildly creative spaces are throughout this masterpiece of a home built in 2013. “Bright textiles, eclectic styles mixed with tastefully neutral tones” describes this house to a tee. A mix of industrial, modern and classic – all under one roof that makes the most refreshing elegant and comfortable living. There is not another one like it!

Okay well I’m not sure about that “tastefully neutral tones” part… I mean, I guess the walls themselves are relatively “neutral.” But everything on and inside the walls…

Torsos for the win.

The really crazy thing about this place is that it’s not in Los Angeles, or San Francisco, or even Las Vegas…

It’s in Oklahoma City.

Groovy den.

Even the outside is multi-color:

Just $2.8 million and all 8,122 square feet can be yours.

With a great playground just across the street…

A nicely refinished living/dining room…

And even a master bedroom with a fireplace…

And then… you discover… The Basement!   ~ Shriek! ~

What do you mean, it’s not the set of a Vincent Price movie? You mean it’s like this all the time?! AGGGH!!!

The Upper East Side of NYC is a rarefied atmosphere, the proverbial lap of luxury. With the Guggenheim next door and the Metropolitan Museum of Art just down the street, it’s one classy neighborhood, underscored by the $23.5M price tag on this single floor co-op. With that sort of clout a bit eccentricity is to be expected with, say, the choice of decor palette…

…or the scale and number of large patterns. Or both. This “interesting” color-pattern combo continues in the bedrooms.

Oh. My… Well, at least it can’t get any worse. Probably.

OK, I was wrong. Take all of the above and add… sage-green striped bedspreads? And a trellis patterned carpeting with… a turquoise background?

I’d ask someone to pass the Pepto Bismol, but I think they used it all on the ceilings.

If you hadn’t guessed already, you finally, truly know it’s bad when this hallway is actually a relief.

Horizontal bead-board isn’t usually associated with luxury, let alone painted turquoise, but at least it’s (somewhat) better than this chair with extremely odd upholstery…

I… uh… what?

If there were such a thing as a Crime Against Prime Real Estate this place would be guilty of multiple counts.

That photo above is the primary listing photo, but I think we’re looking at the garage.

Here’s the main home:

Apparently the seller really likes green.

Like, a lot.

But I wasn’t paying attention and fell into the trap – the Time Machine Trap.

Assorted eras began to fly by, starting with the terrifically tiled 1950s…

segueing into the Kumbayah sentiment of the 1960s…

and landing in the citrus-loving 1970s.

Luckily, the trip ended with a timeless – and simply wonderful – backyard terrace.

This site could probably feature nothing but Florida condos and I’d never run out of content.

Is there something in the air or water down there that causes the residents to lose all sense of interior design subtlety?

So much ultra-bold color.

What’s with the red box under the glass case in the bathroom?

At least the living room toned down the colors a bit. Those sofas and the giant horse “art” though… Yikes.

Is that a velvet sofa? Of course it is. This is Vegas, after all.

Wow, that bathroom. And what’s with the patch of blue/grey tiles above the mirrors on the right?

I’m trying to figure out the purpose of this green room.

I mean, scaffolding is cool but… why? Oh right. Vegas.

Cool pool room, but… um… I think you forgot a crucial ingredient.

Okay what? You can’t just show a sweet vault door like that and not even mention it in the listing? What’s behind there?

Lots more photos (but no more answers) on the “virtual tour.”

These sellers really like floral print wallpaper.

But they won’t be confined. They’ve got variety!

Check it out, this room even has two different floral prints on the same wall!

Upstairs they decided to eschew the floral print and just go with some bright floral colors.

Ever wonder what it would be like to live inside a rose? Wonder no more!

It seems that the sellers’ affinity for bright colors extends beyond decor choices and into their wardrobe as well. Check out all those neons in the closet.

This is described by the local “alternative” rag The Stranger as “the Gayest House in Seattle.”

The shots of the flamingos on the TVs inside are a nice touch.

The interior decor is a lot more subtle than the exterior. All in all it actually seems like a nice little place, flamingos aside.

Um. Whoa.

Where do you even get bathroom tile like that.

I mean seriously.

As the submitter commented to me: “these owners aren’t afraid of color!”

Because home shouldn’t feel make you cozy, it should make you feel dizzy!

So many curves. So many colors…

I can barely handle the photos. It’s hard to imagine what it would be like to actually step inside in real life.

Obviously the owners of this home really like teal.

Well, whoever lives in this room does, anyway.

The rest of the home is… interesting, if not quite as uni-color.

BELIEVE in the Texas Longhorn!

Get ready to catch your eyeballs as they pop out!

Redrum!

Don’t like red so much? Not to worry…

Don’t like solids?

Also not to worry…

Don’t like any of it? Try this…

Believe it or not, this is a 1,200 sqft 1 bed/1.5 bath 1940 houseboat! And it (along with a studio and guest house) could have been all be yours for a mere $1.4M.

• pink cabinets: check
• pink rug: check
• pink pillows: check
• pink microwave: check
• pink teapot: check
• pink toaster: check
• pink ladle: check
• pink sink: check
• pink bucket: check

• pink table: check
• pink trash can: check

• pink sheets: check
• pink curtains: check
• pink lamp: check
• pink whatever-those-are-under-the-black-table: check

That is a lot of pink.

Thankfully, all the pink apparently leaves with the current occupant:

Offered unfurnished…

Phew. That was a close one.

I wonder what this seller’s favorite color is?

To be fair, most of the interior is adorned in a relatively ordinary color scheme. But the exterior and that bedroom… wow.

Most of this house is perfectly ordinary, but wow, that bedroom.

It’s like a bubble gum factory exploded.

This one was sent to me by a reader just last week, but has unfortunately since been pulled from the market.

So if you were hoping to buy an absolutely hideously decorated pad in Cheshire East, I am sorry to disappoint you.

Seriously. What were they thinking.

Perhaps the people who live here are colorblind. Or maybe they are totally blind and the employees at the furniture store who sold them all of these pieces are all having a right jolly laugh over their joke.

Not the strangest, most offensive art we’ve seen in a home for sale, but also not the kind of thing I would choose to display prominently in a house I was trying to sell. I think this second photo has another dirty art piece, but it could just be my mind that’s dirty in this case. Judge for yourself:

Comments from the submitter, Emerald63:

This place will brighten up your day… and your night… and possibly your afterlife.

Indeed, that is a lot of bright colors.

Must be a pretty popular place though, to need that many plush purple chairs around the dinner table!

Hey, if you happen to be in Austin over the next week for SXSW, you can check this place out in person! This home just hit the market today. Asking price: $7.25 million (the 8th most expensive home on the market).

Who puts carpet in the bathroom?

And green shag carpet, at that!

Check out the carpet/wallpaper combo in one of the home’s other 6.5 bathrooms:

Well these stairs are pretty cool, at least.

Plus it does sport 330 feet of lakefront… Still though, that bathroom. Yikes.

This is what I imagine a $3.3 million home would look like if a nuclear weapon had just been detonated ten or twenty miles behind the photographer.

The interior is just as unnaturally bright. Somehow even the black cupboards appear to be emitting a radiant glow.

That is a lot of drawers and sliding doors. I think this is a hallway but it almost looks like a closet full of closets.

When your landscaper doesn’t stop at the front door… rocks on the floor, inside the house.

Don’t miss the listing description, either. The listing agent for this home, one Wendy Lister (because when your name “Lister” of course you’re going to become a real estate agent), is fairly notorious in the Seattle area for her expensive listings and over-the-top prose:

Extraordinary Big Sur extended profile. . a statement of authority above the astonishing saltwater isle/view plateau. Moments of appreciation ~ subtle to sensational. Elongated entrance foyer, unprecedented. Protracted hall of wardrobes to two substantial owner suites. Without reservation, the colossal great-room of white terrazzo, brilliant seascape spectacles, the sheer volume are powerful. Remarkable: pool, resort-size cabana (fpl, bath), tennis, coach house, gated. 3 more living zones.

It’s no “egrets seek the sky, involuntary sigh,” but I still call it listing gold.

I wonder how often these funky domes need to be painted to remain that bright, considering their location in the middle of nowhere, Arizona.

I would think the sun would be pretty harsh on such a vibrant paint job.

I like how they continued the curved aesthetic even throughout the interior of the house pods. That’s some kitchen.

But really, glass blocks was the best you could come up with for the bathroom? That’s a little sad.

This home’s previous primary listing photo was apparently attempting to convey what the home would look like to a prospective buyer who was totally tripping balls on LSD.

This is what the home looks like in our version of reality.

The old photo was replaced at some point with the second version, but the LSD version still shows up at the time of this writing as the thumbnail on a Google search for the address.

I guess there’s something to be said for choosing a theme and… um… going all out with it?

I mean really, really going all out.

If you ever wondered what it would be like living inside an algae-covered aquarium…

…wonder no more.

Added bonus: the bathroom is a completely different piece of work:

Sold in March for $1.9 million.

This reader-submitted home has some… interesting decor choices, but the upstairs bedroom shown above is definitely my favorite.

This bathroom is pretty great too though:

Love the curtains that match the wallpaper.

Also, what’s up with the creepy shed out back with the blacked-out windows?

I’m sure nothing nefarious at all happens there.

I was trying to figure out what could have inspired the… bold color scheme in this living room, then it hit me:

Okay the living room is basically unbearable unless you happen to be a salt water fish… but they do have a pretty sweet barn.

So there is that.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bathroom quite as… bright as this.

The kitchen is an interesting piece of work too:

But the bathroom is this home’s primary attraction.

I’m sure nothing but wholesome activities go on in this room.

And clearly everyone in here will be watching the movie. That’s why the seating is basically a bunch of beds.

In case you don’t know what a sunset looks like, the listing agent has helpfully included the reference photo that was used when they selected their carpet: