This listing was submitted by Lindsey T., who says:

Slightly terrifying but you just can’t look away :)

Personally I think it’s a little more than just “slightly” terrifying.

But I agree that I can’t look away.

What is even happening here?

Was the previous inhabitant of this home some kind of insane sentient cat?

I can’t even really tell what any of these rooms are supposed to be.

Just about the only recognizable room is the bathroom.

…and I can only just barely tell that it’s a bathroom.

Okay nope, I’m out. Done.

I saw this listing and just couldn’t resist. The designer of this home really nailed it.

But I don’t know, personally I think I would get board after a while.

I wood go on, but I think it’s time to branch out and try something new.

I was raised with authentic vintage beams and planking…

with hand-painted, ceiling-high murals…

and a scrupulously clean barn basement with stone walls.

Besides “a fine appreciation for history,” my barn also has “resort-style grounds with pool, cabana, gym and sauna”…

…as well as a wine cellar, appropriately located in the silo cellar.

It’s a respectable upbringing, being raised in a barn. As the sign says…

It’s A Wonderful Life!

That’s certainly an interesting piece of sculpture, and it appears a lot in this photo set. It seems odd that the listing photos would focus so much on a piece of art when the home itself is… well, have a look for yourself:

Apparently burritos are good business.

Never before on the market, this exceptional contemporary home was originally built for Steve Ells, founder of Chipotle.

Not surprisingly for someone in the restaurant business, this place has one of the nicest kitchens I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the other side of the kitchen, and a conspicuous shot of that sculpture again:

And of course what rich person’s modern home listing would be complete without the obligatory shot of the pristine garage with their sexy luxury cars?

Okay, back to the sculpture again.

Also: I hear some of you on this site like… stairs?

All right, let’s close it up with yet another shot of that sculpture.

There are lots more great photos on the virtual tour. Just beware, that link auto-plays a dumb video by default. Click “Photos->All” on the upper-left to stop the music and get to the pictures.

So much going on with this home. The foot shot is just the trip tip of the iceberg.

The listing agent does a pretty good job of describing this place:

Wildly creative spaces are throughout this masterpiece of a home built in 2013. “Bright textiles, eclectic styles mixed with tastefully neutral tones” describes this house to a tee. A mix of industrial, modern and classic – all under one roof that makes the most refreshing elegant and comfortable living. There is not another one like it!

Okay well I’m not sure about that “tastefully neutral tones” part… I mean, I guess the walls themselves are relatively “neutral.” But everything on and inside the walls…

Torsos for the win.

The really crazy thing about this place is that it’s not in Los Angeles, or San Francisco, or even Las Vegas…

It’s in Oklahoma City.

Groovy den.

Even the outside is multi-color:

Just $2.8 million and all 8,122 square feet can be yours.

See if you can guess the year this place was built just by looking through these photos…

Here’s what I assume is the “great room.”

And from the other side of those windows, the pool room, complete with its own oddly-placed fireplace:

Once we get into the smaller rooms, the decor gets… eclectic. There’s the orange room:

The blinding yellow room:

The… whatever this is room:

Just yikes. I don’t even know.

Here, have some hideous pink:

According to the listing description, the kitchen was remodeled in 2004. Here’s what they decided to put in:

Ew.

The giant 59-photo set also includes two shots of this rather odd exterior space:

Here’s the hero shot of the front of the home, which actually looks kinda nice from the outside:

So, have you guessed the year it was built? I was thinking ’80s or maybe ’70s after looking through the photos… The actual year: 1979.

For just $1.45 million it could all be yours. Just be sure to set aside another million bucks or so if you want to drag the interior spaces into the twenty-first century.

Seems like with all the negative press around the “rebel flag” these days, you might not want to feature it prominently in the listing photos for your home. I guess things might be different when the home you’re selling is in Nashville, Tennessee.

The home itself has some nice detail work…

But it also has some oddly modern-looking spaces:

And some confusing ones:

And some spaces that look back at you:

Asking price for all this: $16.3 million.

At 22,000 square feet and over five acres, it’s quite the estate. Of course, if you buy it you have to live in Nashville, so there is that.

From the listing:

River Mill is one of the oldest manufacturing sites in North Carolina

Not really sure that a factory is the first place I’d think to build a bunch of condos…

…a bit Spartan on the inside. But if stone walls are your thing…

With a great playground just across the street…

A nicely refinished living/dining room…

And even a master bedroom with a fireplace…

And then… you discover… The Basement!   ~ Shriek! ~

What do you mean, it’s not the set of a Vincent Price movie? You mean it’s like this all the time?! AGGGH!!!

Given the lush natural surroundings, the owners of this home might almost be forgiven for trying to tone things down inside.

But then again, this is Mercer Island, Washington…

where winters can be long, dark, and dreary and many folks require a cheerfulness supplement to their daily routine.

But no. In this home, not even the entertainment room is entertaining.

Somehow, though, a vestige of humanity has managed to survive…

because at least they spared the children.

See, all the dangerous influences of a society “out of control” can be overcome.

[P.S. – This listing went off the market but you can still find the photos over on Zillow.]

You’re looking at the interior of a 117-year-old, six thousand square foot home in Bronxville, New York listed at four million dollars.

Note: If this page was slow to load for you, it’s because the photos for this one are huge. You might want to right-click on each picture and open in a new tab or new window to fully appreciate them.

Here’s the exterior:

Inside again…

For once, the listing agent gives us some back story to explain the eclectic decor:

Two very different artists live in this house; one does caricatures and collects historically significant bronze animal sculptures, the other creates wildly colorful installations, sculptures and paintings, which are spread all over the interior…walls, floors, cabinets and ceilings. Their South African heritage, together with items brought back from travels to India, Mexico, Ethiopia, Mali, Burkina Faso and Morocco blend into eclectic, international interiors.

That is actually pretty delightful.

Some of the rooms are relatively subdued…

Others, not so much…

I thought the shot below was on the “subdued” list…

…then I saw the taxidermied cat and the stuffed cat flanking the door.

I think those giant clutching hands are actually painted directly on the wall.

The decor definitely isn’t my thing, but the house itself sure is neat.

In the dining room…

Even in the hallway…

Well, until you hit the home theater. It’s… um… different…

The busts are of Greek and Roman origin. Some are even of famous philosophers. But the theater is an Egyptian tomb reborn… with a dozen gold thrones seats. And a totally creepy black obelisk.

Even so, the Egyptian theater may not sport the weirdest decor. At least Greek, Roman, and Egyptian are all ancient. But this…?

Definitely a “Wait… what?” moment. I dunno, maybe the dolls count as sorta busts?

Lead suitably impressed guests into your Untouchably chic speakeasy.

Play at being Cinderella (your choice of dozens of adaptations), fleeing down the castle staircase to evade the lovelorn prince.

Recreate training scenes from Rocky II, III, IV, or V (but not the first one because, hey, he was still poor).

Do what Ferris Bueller would’ve done if he’d really stayed home sick.

Ascend into the heavens (or your neighbor’s yard) via your personal glass Wonkavator. (Um, yeah… the Wonkavator moves sideways, too.)

When you’re ready to come back to earth, you can ground and center (or just take a nap) in your meditation chamber. But watch out that stray sparks don’t catch your hair on fire… Remember, the point is to play at being dramatic, not actually, you know, be dramatic!

Just 22 minutes from downtown Portland, this $7.2 million manse has pretty much everything…

Outside, it’s all castle. Inside…

…it’s also castle.

Except when it’s desert oasis.

Or Arabic domes.

Or giant… ceiling… compass?

Okay, back to castle.

Nope, just kidding. Time for a modern theater.

Or how about this rainbow workout room?

Okay let’s close on the castle watchtower.

It’s certainly nice, but you’d think they would be able to decide on just one style.

…quickly segues into one with some, shall we say, “odd” features.

There seems to be all manner of, for lack of a better term, hangy-downy stuff. Pretty much everywhere.

In the stair hall…

In the bathroom…

In this bedroom…

And in this other bedroom, including the lighting feature over the bed as well as the string sculpture near the windows. The strings resemble both an inverted model of a suspension bridge and a trajectory study of a handgun-related crime scene.

At the least the hangy-downy stuff here isn’t as unpleasant as the stuff at a crime scene might be. But it’s definitely more… “odd.”

blacksmiths, including one of a kind leaded windows with beveled glass panes…

plasterers…

and bricklayers (or brick-levitators, as the case may be)…

not to mention the ubiquitous fine art and furnishings on display in every room, as well as this unique fireplace.

The looniest thing about this Looney Listing is that those who designed and built the home, as the saying goes, chose wisely. And that’s pretty darn rare.

Inside there is an endless supply of non-traditional spaces, including the 2-story, semi-circular music niche…

…a sharply angled, glass walled hallway that snuggles around a deck…

…and numerous rooms that manage not to suffer from a lack of parallel walls, including the office and a practice/recording studio.

Still, the thing that’s likely to hold your interest the longest isn’t even technically a part of the house itself. Nope. It’s…

…the bright purple leather sofa! (With matching ottoman!!)

But I wasn’t paying attention and fell into the trap – the Time Machine Trap.

Assorted eras began to fly by, starting with the terrifically tiled 1950s…

segueing into the Kumbayah sentiment of the 1960s…

and landing in the citrus-loving 1970s.

Luckily, the trip ended with a timeless – and simply wonderful – backyard terrace.

Or a restatement of the Bauhaus aesthetic?

Is it a setting for a traditionally chandeliered, bay windowed bedroom?

Or an angular, multi-colored room of repose?

Is it a funky, modern sculpted, distressed floored music hall?

Or an overblown, Erté-infused Art Deco luxury bath?

Or maybe even just classic kitsch, aka folk “art”?

Or is all this confusion merely a misdirect to draw attention away from…

The Mysterious Backyard Hatch of Doom?!

Start small with, say, an interesting but unimposing fountain at the entry.

Move up in complexity by increasing the scale…

…and number of materials.

Then expand your stage…

…set the mood…

…and Yowza! They don’t call it Paradise Valley for nothing!!

tile-work…

and stone-work.

Then again, details can be, well… pretty weird… as in an artificially distressed basketball court(?)

Or even one’s own private… “orgasmatron”(?!)

Huh. And I thought Woody Allen was a die-hard New Yorker.

And there’s no need to waste the underside of a roof, either, when you can show off the seldom seen sight of clay tiles from below.

And while you’re at it, why waste stair risers?

Waste not, want not, as they say.

…whose crowned porcupine crest appears in solid marble above the impressive entry

…who enjoy an indoor palm forest

…who feel the need for a terrace pavilion styled on a Greek temple

…and who choose the company of contemplative statuary on warm spring evenings.

…and even traditional Spanish-inspired colors.

But then variations come into it.

More and different colors and patterns keep popping up…

…and popping out. Eyeballs, that is.

They start at the private courtyard entry, repeated black rectangular elements.

They continue in the living room.

They also feature in the bedroom, along with a very unique bed.

And you can even see them from the backyard.

You’d never guess from the listing they’re not the weirdest thing about this house. That’s it, there, on the right. Huh, I wonder if Fred and Wilma are home?

For your decor, ya got yore wagon wheel ceilin’ with long-horn accented ceilin’ fan.

Ya got yore sculpted chandelier that casts a humdinger of a trail ridin’ shadow.

Ya even got yore solid turquoise water trough!

And looky here! Ya got a wagon-load of trainin’ paddocks, not to mention top notch stable facilities. (That there’s horse storage space for you city folk.)

It starts with crudely-corrected crooked exterior shots, and it just gets weirder when you go inside…

Nothing like a creepy over-the-top cat-themed bathroom to make you feel at home.

Also important to note: The doors do in fact go all the way to the floor. Well, this door, anyway.

Someone seems to have desaturated the kitchen.

Um, nice… heater… I guess.

From the listing description:

An exquisite Grade II Listed Victorian 7 bedroomed, 8 bathroomed old rectory, the subject of a complete roof down restoration in recent years…

Here’s the outside of this 7-bedroom manse:

I don’t know, but when I think about “restoring” a home like that, I don’t think of ultra-tacky modern finishes like this:

But hey, at least they included a zebra.

Yours if you bring an “offer in region of £2,500,000” (~$3.76M). And it would probably only cost another $1M or so to strip out all that garbage and put in something tasteful and appropriate to the home. What a steal!

The rest of the flat is fairly pedestrian, but whoa, that hallway.

Why? Just why?