Nothing about this place is average, nothing at all. It’s not your average entry.

Or sofa.

Not your average bedroom. (A marble platform bed – really?)

Or bathroom.

And especially not your average listing butler.

It starts off innocently enough with an indoor forest…

Gradually escalates to a guy watching you sleep…

Then… jumps straight down the throat of interior design Hell.

Just in case you hadn’t already realized it, this place outright tells you it has “Everything You Want”

And folks, this is just the tip of the iceberg – there are over 70 gloriously eye-popping listing photos, including the ubiquitous San Francisco mansion view of Alcatraz.

Apparently the key to making living in a lifeless desert marginally tolerable is sports cars.

Note how the imaginary rendered cars keep moving around so they are conveniently visible in almost every view.

Even inside.

Okay so the rear shot of this imaginary home hugging the hillside doesn’t appear to have the sports cars. Oh well.

For some reason the official listing photos on this one are tiny, but you can view a much higher-resolution set a Sotheby’s Realty.