The rest of this house is just a nice, partially-updated 120-year-old home. But that bathroom… Whoa.

I actually saw this one in person at an open house, and these photos really do not do justice to the visual assault you experience when you walk into this bathroom.

You’re looking at the only two photos of this listing.

Apparently actually visiting the home was too difficult. As was taking a screenshot. So, apparently they just decided to snap a couple cell phone pictures of some Bing Maps that they printed out on paper? The mind boggles.

This is what I imagine a $3.3 million home would look like if a nuclear weapon had just been detonated ten or twenty miles behind the photographer.

The interior is just as unnaturally bright. Somehow even the black cupboards appear to be emitting a radiant glow.

That is a lot of drawers and sliding doors. I think this is a hallway but it almost looks like a closet full of closets.

When your landscaper doesn’t stop at the front door… rocks on the floor, inside the house.

Don’t miss the listing description, either. The listing agent for this home, one Wendy Lister (because when your name “Lister” of course you’re going to become a real estate agent), is fairly notorious in the Seattle area for her expensive listings and over-the-top prose:

Extraordinary Big Sur extended profile. . a statement of authority above the astonishing saltwater isle/view plateau. Moments of appreciation ~ subtle to sensational. Elongated entrance foyer, unprecedented. Protracted hall of wardrobes to two substantial owner suites. Without reservation, the colossal great-room of white terrazzo, brilliant seascape spectacles, the sheer volume are powerful. Remarkable: pool, resort-size cabana (fpl, bath), tennis, coach house, gated. 3 more living zones.

It’s no “egrets seek the sky, involuntary sigh,” but I still call it listing gold.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bathroom quite as… bright as this.

The kitchen is an interesting piece of work too:

But the bathroom is this home’s primary attraction.

In case you don’t know what a sunset looks like, the listing agent has helpfully included the reference photo that was used when they selected their carpet: