As long as you don’t need a bathroom, or a kitchen, or parking, this tiny beach retreat in Seattle is perfect!

From the description:

Dream come true, yours for the taking! LEVITATING LIGHTHOUSE is a treehouse built on the bluff. Breathtaking city, mountain & sound views- this property is one of a kind! Built by & featured on Treehouse Masters. The levitating lighthouse is your recreation retreat. Everything stays. Go crabbing & salmon fishing. Rainwater catchment purification system. In the city but far away. Home featured on Treehouse Masters and written about in several articles.

Of course, there is some fine print…

Financing not available.

So, cash-only for this waterfront shack.

Oh, there’s also the minor issue that the city of Seattle may may demand that the treehouse be demolished.

But the city has its own problem with the property: It turns out [Property owner Ronald] Rae and the show host who built it, King County resident and renowned treehouse builder Pete Nelson, never got permits to put up the treehouse, which sits east of where several Magnolia homes were destroyed in a landslide in 1996.

After Animal Planet’s episode aired in 2014, the city sued Rae, saying the structure was too elaborate to be considered a childlike treehouse typically exempt from the building code, and it was on a steep hill next to the water. He was ordered to pay a $10,000 fine and get the permits to bring the 280-square-foot treehouse properly up to code by the end of this March.

If he can’t pass the city’s inspections, he’ll have to demolish the treehouse, according to the city. Otherwise he faces a $100,000 fine.

That would be a shame. The article is from January, but I can’t find any more recent information about whether the city has approved the treehouse or not.

Animal Planet has a nice video of the building:

The Seattle TV station KING 5 also featured the treehouse:

From the listing:

Extreme Fire Damage From Fire 4/17/2013

Gotta love that they used what appears to be a photo of the home actually on fire as the primary photo.

Yup, looks like a total loss.

The price isn’t too bad for a lot in that area, so I guess it’s not surprising that the listing is pending.

Here’s an interesting and unique property currently on the market in Kirkland, WA (Seattle area). No idea what the point of this design was, other than just to be different.

I love this bit from the listing agent’s description:

One of a kind, unique home exemplifies ‘organic architecture’ of the 1970’s – a style reminiscent of a very famous architect of this style home.

Nice generic almost-reference.

So. Many. Triangles.

The lot looks pretty lush, but the home has apparently been somewhat neglected.

Inside we’ve got lots of exposed wood and big windows. It’s certainly a unique look.

Apparently the designer of this house was allergic to right angles.

I love this directly overhead view. Every listing should include one of these.

The only thing left inside the home is a single lonely piano.

Despite the apparent state of disrepair, this multi-dome home is only a little over ten years old.

Looks like a dream that was just never quite realized.

If you’ve got an interest in living in rural northern Minnesota, the dream can be yours for just $74,900.

With nearly 8 acres, there’s apparently plenty of room on the property to set up camp while you work on finishing the domes.

Bonus: In addition to the multi-dome, you get a hangar!

Scratch that… Two hangars!

Over on the Zillow listing, they’ve got some extra photos, including a complete set of floor plan drawings:

This one is pretty darn cool. If I had $75k lying around I would be seriously tempted to buy it to turn it into my own little rural retreat.

Free rocks included with purchase of home.

Added bonus: Green stuff!

What’s that? Oh, you want to see what the house itself looks like? Okay, sure.

Here is a wall.

And here is some trim.

Oh, you wanted to see more? Fine.

No, you can’t see any photos of any of the rooms inside. Only tiny photos of the outside and weirdly-close photos of interior features.

My favorite bit from the listing description?

Many features from years of old still remain in place.

That is the nicest way I have ever heard an agent say “needs a ton of updates.”

From the submitter:

As the listing states, it’s a rare opportunity to enjoy this pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! :)

I can see why they led with the double rainbow. The home itself is… Meh.

From the listing description:

“Somewhere Over the Rainbow” lies a magnificent view from the home and the yard of this lovely home on Gleneagles. Walk through the doors that lead to a home far grander than it appears.

What does it mean?!?

Hmm this photograph does not quite match the listing description:

The front porch has a large stone arch giving the house a warm, inviting feel to it!

I make fun of the corny 3D renderings that some unfinished homes use for their listings, but I think this strategy is probably worse.

I especially love the weird burned-corners look of the digital floorplan drawings.

I was raised with authentic vintage beams and planking…

with hand-painted, ceiling-high murals…

and a scrupulously clean barn basement with stone walls.

Besides “a fine appreciation for history,” my barn also has “resort-style grounds with pool, cabana, gym and sauna”…

…as well as a wine cellar, appropriately located in the silo cellar.

It’s a respectable upbringing, being raised in a barn. As the sign says…

It’s A Wonderful Life!

What a location.

What a house.

This unique remote California desert home has been off and on the market five or six times since 2002. The current asking price on the “Volcano House” is $650,000. When Curbed wrote about it in 2009 the asking price was $750,000.

Every room has an amazing view. You know, if you’re into barren desert landscapes.

Because that’s pretty much all you get.

As far as the eye can see.

It’s about a 50 minute drive to Barstow, the closest town of any significant size. This place certainly seems like it would make a sweet retreat for someone in Southern California.

If you’re craving more photos, here’s a great Flickr set of the Volcano House by Chapman Publications. Amusing Planet has an article with some more details about the home’s background.

Also, CNNMoney did a segment on the house a few years ago:

Finally, here’s a cool night timelapse video of the house:

Above: The primary listing photo for this $550,000 Philadelphia townhouse.

That’s a nice picture and all, but where’s the actual home for sale?

Nope, not here. But let’s have a closer look at the street art…

There are 14 photos on this listing. A grand total of two of those photos are of the inside of the actual home being sold:

So, basically the seller here is asking you to pay over half a million dollars for some historic scenery and funky mosaic art outside the home.

You’re looking at the primary photo for this listing. And Horse is looking at you.

Fully 25% of the photos for this listing are of the horse.

They’re also quite fond of the barn:

That photo in particular is in there twice.

Summer’s a great time to take a dip in the pool with your shadow kids…

…or do… whatever it is those old guys on the right are doing.

I’ve always wanted a SimHouse of my very own.

Only one problem. If you and your shadow kids want the to buy house they’re supposedly going to build on this land…

…you’re going to have to evict the horse that lives there now.

From the listing:

River Mill is one of the oldest manufacturing sites in North Carolina

Not really sure that a factory is the first place I’d think to build a bunch of condos…

…a bit Spartan on the inside. But if stone walls are your thing…

with modern lines and materials both inside…

and outside.

But there is one teensy issue…

It not only sits next to an early 20th century craftsman style home, but in an entire sea of homes from the same era…

Yup, there’s nothing like undisguised indifference to your surroundings for securing a friendly introduction to your new neighbors. Good luck with that!

What really cracks me up about the primary listing photo for this home is that the agent took the time to photoshop in a blue sky (as evidenced by the glowing edges of the trees) but didn’t bother to do anything about the overwhelming expanse of brown, dead front lawn.

I mean, if you’re going to market your listing with deceptive photos, why not go all the way?

Same story in the back… hey wait a minute, that’s the same exact sky.

And from another angle? Yet again, the same sky.

More glowing trees.

Even the park a few blocks down the street has the same sky. Incredible!

I think the listing agent should have just stuck with the classic Czech Sky. At least then they would have fit in.

This home has it all! Something for everyone. The “art” lover…

The garden lover…

The high-energy kids…

The high energy adults…

…wait a minute, is that a stripper pole in the workout room?

Anyway, moving on…

It’s got a castle for the little princess…

…and a sweet arcade room for the gamers.

Of course, for $34.5 million dollars, it had better have something for everyone. With nine bedrooms, seventeen bathrooms, and 14,563 square feet there should be space to fit pretty much anything you can imagine.

Can’t say I’ve seen a home with an entrance quite like this one before.

Perhaps there was some sort of odd zoning or permit restrictions?

Apparently the back of the home is level with the alley, so at least they don’t have to drive their car over a crazy bridge.

That photo above is the primary listing photo, but I think we’re looking at the garage.

Here’s the main home:

Apparently the seller really likes green.

Like, a lot.

Where you can Curtain All The Surfaces!

Or play pool under a painting of people in a pool.

And this being SoCal, it’s all about the pool. It’s there, just beyond the see-through fireplace.

You’ll enjoy endless vistas from the best darn porch swings EVER…

Happy Hour at your personal tiki hut bar in the round…

…and a dinner venue with its own infernal internal lighting.

But in this best of all possible worlds, the best place to be is at the fire pit and in the pool… At.The.Same.Time.

Mai Tai, anyone? We’ve got plenty of little umbrellas.

This is a nice looking place.

Hey, wait a minute… is this actually a cave?

Yup, looks like a cave. Who needs windows, I guess?

At least the finishes are nice, so you have something pleasant to look at while you’re not looking out any windows.

Okay, okay, I jest.

If you want some sunlight, just look up!

Here’s how the listing agent pitches this house:

Finally, a home as unique as you are! Unique Dale Percy design, underground home on 1.3Acres. Look no further for a fabulous, energy efficient, eco-friendly home design.

Fabulous!

This relatively remote home an hour and a half north of Seattle is, according to the listing, “the historic 1910 Skiyou School House.”

Although the exterior has a unique look, the interiors look like any other normal home.

This is my favorite bit from the listing description:

Everything you want from a turn of the century home; original bell tower, fir floors, cloak rooms, vintage Monarch cook stove & enchanting character.

Yup, an “original bell tower” is definitely on the list of things that I want from a turn of the century home.

Unfortunately, it seems that the bell itself might not currently be properly installed.

The back porch is even better.

The open plan living room/kitchen/dining has great potential.

And the bathroom is fantastic.

If only you didn’t have to look at the outside to get to the inside…

According to the listing, it’s a “rare, beautiful new build… with all the attention and care given to match the neighborhood.” So, how does one do that when the final product doesn’t match any known style?

With a ceiling fan!

And a skylight!

Don’t forget the three, count’em three, greenhouses! (There’s even a fourth if you’re up for repairing it.) In addition, there is a “huge display garden [with] mature, unusual trees and shrubs, including one endangered species.”

After a long day of plant tending, both indoors and out, have a nice comfy lie-down in your cozy (aka small, 452 sq ft) yurt.

Not many homes for sale come with a free used 1959 calendar. In fact I am willing to bed probably no other listing does.

Huh, this place looks more like some kind of general store than a house.

Oh. I see. I guess it used to be a general store. And in addition to the free calendar, you also get this lovely plaque in your yard encouraging random passers-by to gawk at your house.

Also, here. Have a map. No particular reason. I just like maps.

But I wasn’t paying attention and fell into the trap – the Time Machine Trap.

Assorted eras began to fly by, starting with the terrifically tiled 1950s…

segueing into the Kumbayah sentiment of the 1960s…

and landing in the citrus-loving 1970s.

Luckily, the trip ended with a timeless – and simply wonderful – backyard terrace.

Or a restatement of the Bauhaus aesthetic?

Is it a setting for a traditionally chandeliered, bay windowed bedroom?

Or an angular, multi-colored room of repose?

Is it a funky, modern sculpted, distressed floored music hall?

Or an overblown, Erté-infused Art Deco luxury bath?

Or maybe even just classic kitsch, aka folk “art”?

Or is all this confusion merely a misdirect to draw attention away from…

The Mysterious Backyard Hatch of Doom?!

Sadly the listing has only the one photo, so we don’t get to see what this patriot’s home looks like inside.

However, we do get to see what the patriot selling this home looks like, thanks to a local news article published in 2008: Everett man’s face a portrait of patriotism

That’s not face paint.

That is a tattoo.

From the Everett Herald article:

He wants people to read the words inked into his skin and think about them, a walking testament to free speech. They are saturated with a love for his adopted country that he has carried for decades.

At Bloomfield’s house, it’s always the Fourth of July.

He grew up poor in an island hut on Tonga, where they see the sunrise before the rest of the world. He stowed away on a boat from American Samoa to California, and later got his green card in 1976.

He was drawn by stories of opportunity and images of money as abundant as suburban grass clippings.

But it takes hard work to live here, he says, and that’s a lesson he shares with his children and grandchildren. He spends his days cutting and packaging crab and salmon at a seafood warehouse.

He pumps iron every other day, his 58-year-old body a carefully maintained canvas filled with provocative words, phrases and pictures.

I wonder why he’s selling?

I do think they’re missing a golden opportunity here by not pricing this thing at $177,600.

Nothing about this place is average, nothing at all. It’s not your average entry.

Or sofa.

Not your average bedroom. (A marble platform bed – really?)

Or bathroom.

And especially not your average listing butler.

It starts with crudely-corrected crooked exterior shots, and it just gets weirder when you go inside…

Nothing like a creepy over-the-top cat-themed bathroom to make you feel at home.

Also important to note: The doors do in fact go all the way to the floor. Well, this door, anyway.

Someone seems to have desaturated the kitchen.

Um, nice… heater… I guess.

This shot of the exterior brick wall isn’t the lead photo for this home, but it is the best photo.

The primary photo isn’t all that bad, but once you go inside… all bets are off.

I have to respect a listing agent that’s willing to brave such a terrifying environment just for the paltry commission they’ll be earning on a $15,000 listing.

How do homes even get like this?

Is that a toilet… in the bathtub? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

Missing windows with bird nests where the glass should be. Perfect.

How about I make you a deal. How about you pay me $15,000 and I’ll find a way to bulldoze this place to the ground and wipe its memory from the earth. That sounds pretty fair.