What the…

Historical structure was once the power house to 1900s saw mill.

Oh. So I guess they’re just leaving a giant busted saw blade lying around for “character.”

Cool, so what does the actual home look like?

Hmm.

Conversion to private residence partially complete – bring your architect and interior designer!

…and a few big sacks of cash. In addition to the million dollars you’ll be plunking down to buy the home building itself.

To be fair, it does have a cool, unique look to it, from the outside.

And look, it even comes with a smiling, waving family!

Wait, they’re not included in the price?

Oh well, at least it’s got a sweet lakefront setting.

Not many homes for sale come with a free used 1959 calendar. In fact I am willing to bed probably no other listing does.

Huh, this place looks more like some kind of general store than a house.

Oh. I see. I guess it used to be a general store. And in addition to the free calendar, you also get this lovely plaque in your yard encouraging random passers-by to gawk at your house.

Also, here. Have a map. No particular reason. I just like maps.

From the listing description:

An exquisite Grade II Listed Victorian 7 bedroomed, 8 bathroomed old rectory, the subject of a complete roof down restoration in recent years…

Here’s the outside of this 7-bedroom manse:

I don’t know, but when I think about “restoring” a home like that, I don’t think of ultra-tacky modern finishes like this:

But hey, at least they included a zebra.

Yours if you bring an “offer in region of £2,500,000” (~$3.76M). And it would probably only cost another $1M or so to strip out all that garbage and put in something tasteful and appropriate to the home. What a steal!

Wait… what’s being sold here, a house or a $779,000 olde tyme baseball field?

Wow that super blown-out historic photo really adds to the listing. So much more useful than the modern shot below, don’t you think?

I also like the mix of the historic photos and what appear to be photos taken by some very modern “drone” equipment.

Sadly, from the looks of another of the aerial drone shots, what used to be a baseball field is apparently now mostly filled with other houses.

But hey, at least we’ve got the memories, right?

This one also sold back in December, but since I’ve never seen a whole house built on wheels before, I had to share it.

Seriously, what is going on here? Why is the whole home propped up on wheels on a circular track?

I mean, it’s a groovy design and all…

…but what’s the point?

Nothing like being across the street from the former site of a mechanic to really sell a home to today’s discriminating buyer.

I also really enjoyed how the second photo is just an over-sharpened, over-saturated version of the first shot.

You know, in case you were wondering what your front door might look like if you were on a little bit of acid.

From the listing description:

This building dates to 1890, formerly the Protection Hook and Ladder Company No. 3 prior to becoming the legendary Capital Saddlery. Now it’s been transformed into true Venetian elegance.

Obviously the cowboys pictured above knew nothing of true Venetian elegance. What does “true Venetian elegance” look like, you ask? Great question. Apparently all you need are…

Boots!

Busts!

Bold colors!