As long as you don’t need a bathroom, or a kitchen, or parking, this tiny beach retreat in Seattle is perfect!

From the description:

Dream come true, yours for the taking! LEVITATING LIGHTHOUSE is a treehouse built on the bluff. Breathtaking city, mountain & sound views- this property is one of a kind! Built by & featured on Treehouse Masters. The levitating lighthouse is your recreation retreat. Everything stays. Go crabbing & salmon fishing. Rainwater catchment purification system. In the city but far away. Home featured on Treehouse Masters and written about in several articles.

Of course, there is some fine print…

Financing not available.

So, cash-only for this waterfront shack.

Oh, there’s also the minor issue that the city of Seattle may may demand that the treehouse be demolished.

But the city has its own problem with the property: It turns out [Property owner Ronald] Rae and the show host who built it, King County resident and renowned treehouse builder Pete Nelson, never got permits to put up the treehouse, which sits east of where several Magnolia homes were destroyed in a landslide in 1996.

After Animal Planet’s episode aired in 2014, the city sued Rae, saying the structure was too elaborate to be considered a childlike treehouse typically exempt from the building code, and it was on a steep hill next to the water. He was ordered to pay a $10,000 fine and get the permits to bring the 280-square-foot treehouse properly up to code by the end of this March.

If he can’t pass the city’s inspections, he’ll have to demolish the treehouse, according to the city. Otherwise he faces a $100,000 fine.

That would be a shame. The article is from January, but I can’t find any more recent information about whether the city has approved the treehouse or not.

Animal Planet has a nice video of the building:

The Seattle TV station KING 5 also featured the treehouse:

This listing was submitted by Lindsey T., who says:

Slightly terrifying but you just can’t look away :)

Personally I think it’s a little more than just “slightly” terrifying.

But I agree that I can’t look away.

What is even happening here?

Was the previous inhabitant of this home some kind of insane sentient cat?

I can’t even really tell what any of these rooms are supposed to be.

Just about the only recognizable room is the bathroom.

…and I can only just barely tell that it’s a bathroom.

Okay nope, I’m out. Done.

Here’s an interesting and unique property currently on the market in Kirkland, WA (Seattle area). No idea what the point of this design was, other than just to be different.

I love this bit from the listing agent’s description:

One of a kind, unique home exemplifies ‘organic architecture’ of the 1970’s – a style reminiscent of a very famous architect of this style home.

Nice generic almost-reference.

So. Many. Triangles.

The lot looks pretty lush, but the home has apparently been somewhat neglected.

Inside we’ve got lots of exposed wood and big windows. It’s certainly a unique look.

Apparently the designer of this house was allergic to right angles.

I love this directly overhead view. Every listing should include one of these.

The only thing left inside the home is a single lonely piano.

Not a lot to say about this one. It’s a fairly normal 2.4 million dollar listing, but as I was scrolling through the photos—BAM—that deep purple sofa just jumped out of nowhere.

I also appreciate that they’ve included the directly-above shot that I love.

Isn’t there usually supposed to be a bit of headroom between the top of the doors and the ceiling?

This isn’t a basement we’re looking at. It’s the ground floor.

It seems pretty obvious that there used to be a large garage door taking up most of the front of this “house.” I suspect that maybe the building was originally just someone’s detached garage, and they decided to “finish” it and sell it as a standalone home. Good luck with that.

Nothing particularly noteworthy about this picture…

…but that didn’t stop the agent from shooting a second photo almost exactly like it, and including both of them in the listing.

And it’s not just the living that got the double-take treatment, either.

The bedroom also gets double vision.

I promise I’m not just putting two of the same photo on here. Go the listing and see for yourself.

Same treatment for the entry hallway, too.

Here’s a bonus shot that, despite being incredibly blurry, wasn’t taken a second time:

How do listing agents like this ever find work?

I saw this listing and just couldn’t resist. The designer of this home really nailed it.

But I don’t know, personally I think I would get board after a while.

I wood go on, but I think it’s time to branch out and try something new.

That headline isn’t meant to be metaphorical. It’s literal. Apparently the seller of this home literally kept their kid in the closet.

Storage room has been repurposed into additional sleeping quarters with IKEA juvenile bed and built-in shelving and drawers.

That’s one way to squeeze everything possible out of a 762 square foot condo.

Nothing sells a home quite like a living room packed to the gills with dolls.

Bonus:

Gotta love the classic Pacific Northwest outdoor photos: “The ground is obviously covered in rain but we have photoshopped in a bright blue sky anyway.”

This is a lovely mid-century modern home that looks to have been expertly updated, but some of what the listing agent chose to feature in their set of 64 photos is a little… odd. Does the Pottery-Barn-esque canvas laundry basket come with the listing? Why is it featured so prominently?

Okay, cool…I guess this photo is trying to show us that if you buy this house you can sit with pillows and browse a picture book? Cool, I guess…

Twigs in a vase. That’s it, I’m sold. I need this house.

There are photos of two other angles of this tub and shower in the listing so obviously this shot is just here to let us know that if we want to set a tray on the tub, we can. Good to know.

Beds: Also good for reading! Hang on though, I don’t think we’ve seen enough of that bed just yet. I wish there were another shot almost just like this one, but with the pillows in-focus.

Ah, there we go. Much better.

Rawr.

It’s all in the details.

Behold! This home has a ceiling!

I have to know though: Do all the rad portrait paintings and the giant green table and chair set come with the $17 million price tag? Because if not, just forget it.

I was raised with authentic vintage beams and planking…

with hand-painted, ceiling-high murals…

and a scrupulously clean barn basement with stone walls.

Besides “a fine appreciation for history,” my barn also has “resort-style grounds with pool, cabana, gym and sauna”…

…as well as a wine cellar, appropriately located in the silo cellar.

It’s a respectable upbringing, being raised in a barn. As the sign says…

It’s A Wonderful Life!

…and about as small as one, too.

It’s so small – “How small is it?” – you can’t even see it from the street.

No, not the white one. The one lurking behind all the foliage on the left. So much for “curb appeal.”

It’s so small, you can see 90% of the interior in this one photo:

It’s so small, that path around the bed is all there is to the bedroom.

It’s so small, you can see one end of the front room from the kitchen and the other through the far bedroom door. Here’s a better look:

And…. Tha, Tha, That’s All Folks!

Well, OK, there is an extra room.

But the house is so small, the extra room is all the way out back…

…in an even smaller building!

The only thing not in on the “How small is it?” contest is the price. Or it was. The property sold for $350,000. And there ain’t no button in the world that cute.

That’s certainly an interesting piece of sculpture, and it appears a lot in this photo set. It seems odd that the listing photos would focus so much on a piece of art when the home itself is… well, have a look for yourself:

Apparently burritos are good business.

Never before on the market, this exceptional contemporary home was originally built for Steve Ells, founder of Chipotle.

Not surprisingly for someone in the restaurant business, this place has one of the nicest kitchens I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the other side of the kitchen, and a conspicuous shot of that sculpture again:

And of course what rich person’s modern home listing would be complete without the obligatory shot of the pristine garage with their sexy luxury cars?

Okay, back to the sculpture again.

Also: I hear some of you on this site like… stairs?

All right, let’s close it up with yet another shot of that sculpture.

There are lots more great photos on the virtual tour. Just beware, that link auto-plays a dumb video by default. Click “Photos->All” on the upper-left to stop the music and get to the pictures.

Cool art, bro.

Dig that all-black kitchen with the metal buck bust.

I’m not sure if the bedroom is really that red. Might just be the photo processing. On the other hand…

Obviously the bro that’s selling this loft is a fan of red.

So much going on with this home. The foot shot is just the trip tip of the iceberg.

The listing agent does a pretty good job of describing this place:

Wildly creative spaces are throughout this masterpiece of a home built in 2013. “Bright textiles, eclectic styles mixed with tastefully neutral tones” describes this house to a tee. A mix of industrial, modern and classic – all under one roof that makes the most refreshing elegant and comfortable living. There is not another one like it!

Okay well I’m not sure about that “tastefully neutral tones” part… I mean, I guess the walls themselves are relatively “neutral.” But everything on and inside the walls…

Torsos for the win.

The really crazy thing about this place is that it’s not in Los Angeles, or San Francisco, or even Las Vegas…

It’s in Oklahoma City.

Groovy den.

Even the outside is multi-color:

Just $2.8 million and all 8,122 square feet can be yours.

Oh yeah, I will definitely be going down that hallway. NOT.

Here’s the entire listing description:

AWESOME HOME IN THE BEST PART OF DETROIT

I think the listing agent and I have very different definitions of “awesome home.”

I also get the feeling that “the best part of Detroit” is sort of like “the warmest part of Antarctica.”

Gotta love the effort put forth by the listing agent.

The home does at least have an interesting architecture, but overall, if this is “awesome” in “the best part of Detroit”… yikes.

With a great playground just across the street…

A nicely refinished living/dining room…

And even a master bedroom with a fireplace…

And then… you discover… The Basement!   ~ Shriek! ~

What do you mean, it’s not the set of a Vincent Price movie? You mean it’s like this all the time?! AGGGH!!!

Given the lush natural surroundings, the owners of this home might almost be forgiven for trying to tone things down inside.

But then again, this is Mercer Island, Washington…

where winters can be long, dark, and dreary and many folks require a cheerfulness supplement to their daily routine.

But no. In this home, not even the entertainment room is entertaining.

Somehow, though, a vestige of humanity has managed to survive…

because at least they spared the children.

Apparently neither the seller nor the listing agent thought it worth $25 to buy a bucket of paint and cover the “art” in this home.

Asking price: $16,000. Last sold in 2004 for $58,500.

You’d probably have to pay me—and a lot more than $16,000—to live in Omaha.

What the…

Historical structure was once the power house to 1900s saw mill.

Oh. So I guess they’re just leaving a giant busted saw blade lying around for “character.”

Cool, so what does the actual home look like?

Hmm.

Conversion to private residence partially complete – bring your architect and interior designer!

…and a few big sacks of cash. In addition to the million dollars you’ll be plunking down to buy the home building itself.

To be fair, it does have a cool, unique look to it, from the outside.

And look, it even comes with a smiling, waving family!

Wait, they’re not included in the price?

Oh well, at least it’s got a sweet lakefront setting.

In the dining room…

Even in the hallway…

Well, until you hit the home theater. It’s… um… different…

The busts are of Greek and Roman origin. Some are even of famous philosophers. But the theater is an Egyptian tomb reborn… with a dozen gold thrones seats. And a totally creepy black obelisk.

Even so, the Egyptian theater may not sport the weirdest decor. At least Greek, Roman, and Egyptian are all ancient. But this…?

Definitely a “Wait… what?” moment. I dunno, maybe the dolls count as sorta busts?

Lead suitably impressed guests into your Untouchably chic speakeasy.

Play at being Cinderella (your choice of dozens of adaptations), fleeing down the castle staircase to evade the lovelorn prince.

Recreate training scenes from Rocky II, III, IV, or V (but not the first one because, hey, he was still poor).

Do what Ferris Bueller would’ve done if he’d really stayed home sick.

Ascend into the heavens (or your neighbor’s yard) via your personal glass Wonkavator. (Um, yeah… the Wonkavator moves sideways, too.)

When you’re ready to come back to earth, you can ground and center (or just take a nap) in your meditation chamber. But watch out that stray sparks don’t catch your hair on fire… Remember, the point is to play at being dramatic, not actually, you know, be dramatic!

That is quite the interesting piece of art.

So where do you get a piece like that? I’ve got a guess…

Yeah, looks like it’s an original.

The house itself is quite nice though:

Lovely modern home in a quiet wooded setting. Let’s just hope the art isn’t included in the sale.

…quickly segues into one with some, shall we say, “odd” features.

There seems to be all manner of, for lack of a better term, hangy-downy stuff. Pretty much everywhere.

In the stair hall…

In the bathroom…

In this bedroom…

And in this other bedroom, including the lighting feature over the bed as well as the string sculpture near the windows. The strings resemble both an inverted model of a suspension bridge and a trajectory study of a handgun-related crime scene.

At the least the hangy-downy stuff here isn’t as unpleasant as the stuff at a crime scene might be. But it’s definitely more… “odd.”

Inside there is an endless supply of non-traditional spaces, including the 2-story, semi-circular music niche…

…a sharply angled, glass walled hallway that snuggles around a deck…

…and numerous rooms that manage not to suffer from a lack of parallel walls, including the office and a practice/recording studio.

Still, the thing that’s likely to hold your interest the longest isn’t even technically a part of the house itself. Nope. It’s…

…the bright purple leather sofa! (With matching ottoman!!)

Not many homes for sale come with a free used 1959 calendar. In fact I am willing to bed probably no other listing does.

Huh, this place looks more like some kind of general store than a house.

Oh. I see. I guess it used to be a general store. And in addition to the free calendar, you also get this lovely plaque in your yard encouraging random passers-by to gawk at your house.

Also, here. Have a map. No particular reason. I just like maps.

But I wasn’t paying attention and fell into the trap – the Time Machine Trap.

Assorted eras began to fly by, starting with the terrifically tiled 1950s…

segueing into the Kumbayah sentiment of the 1960s…

and landing in the citrus-loving 1970s.

Luckily, the trip ended with a timeless – and simply wonderful – backyard terrace.

Or a restatement of the Bauhaus aesthetic?

Is it a setting for a traditionally chandeliered, bay windowed bedroom?

Or an angular, multi-colored room of repose?

Is it a funky, modern sculpted, distressed floored music hall?

Or an overblown, Erté-infused Art Deco luxury bath?

Or maybe even just classic kitsch, aka folk “art”?

Or is all this confusion merely a misdirect to draw attention away from…

The Mysterious Backyard Hatch of Doom?!

tile-work…

and stone-work.

Then again, details can be, well… pretty weird… as in an artificially distressed basketball court(?)

Or even one’s own private… “orgasmatron”(?!)

Huh. And I thought Woody Allen was a die-hard New Yorker.