Hi there stranger! Come buy my house!

Okay, let’s go inside now!

I’m just going to steal this guitar…

Okay bye!

You can’t see me!

Wow. Interesting choice.

I guess when the actual home is currently just dirt, you get creative.

Comment from the reader who submitted this one:

I think this may be the house from Goldilocks and the three bears because she was still sleeping in one of the beds when they snapped this photo.

The rest of the place is rather oddly sparse compared to the occupied bedroom.

Do the current residents just stand around and watch DVDs all day?

I’m so confused.

Okay, it’s adorable when your kids want to play dress-up, but is that really something that you should be including in the marketing photos when you’re trying to sell your home?

Yes, we can see that your dogs are quite obedient. Look at them sit.

Okay now the kids just look unamused. Perhaps the photographer overstayed his or her welcome?

Yup. Dogs are still there. Good dogs.

Haven’t you always wanted to own a nine-million-dollar penthouse where you could walk down to the lobby and admire a miniature model of the very building you’re standing in? I know I have.

Also, you like to look at boats, right?

Because apparently $9,000,000 buys a lot of boat-watching in Miami Beach.

Plus, bonus lonely photoshopped kid all by herself in the playroom.

Totally worth nine million bucks, right there.

What? Is a seemingly incapacitated child splayed out across the living room floor a deal-breaker for you?

How about a baby-eating lion? Not your cup of tea?