This home sports what is easily the skinniest kitchen I have ever laid eyes on. If you’re overweight, you’d need to go on a diet just to squeeze in there and use your sink.

Okay, to be fair, the whole kitchen is actually pretty big:

It’s just that, for some reason they decided not to put the sink and dishwasher out in the usable space, and instead opted to shove them in what basically amounts to a closet.

The weirdest part about it all is that judging by the finishes, the kitchen appears to have been remodeled relatively recently.

Worst kitchen work triangle ever.

• pink cabinets: check
• pink rug: check
• pink pillows: check
• pink microwave: check
• pink teapot: check
• pink toaster: check
• pink ladle: check
• pink sink: check
• pink bucket: check

• pink table: check
• pink trash can: check

• pink sheets: check
• pink curtains: check
• pink lamp: check
• pink whatever-those-are-under-the-black-table: check

That is a lot of pink.

Thankfully, all the pink apparently leaves with the current occupant:

Offered unfurnished…

Phew. That was a close one.

“Streamlined bathroom with an integrated internal laundry”

Um… Yeah. That’s a bit too “streamlined” for my tastes.

From the listing description:

Original owner believed there was a buried Spanish gold treasure in the large rock next to the house and spent many years digging three mine shafts to try to find it. It is unknown if he was successful.

Ri-iiight.

Who wants to spend over half a million dollars to go spelunking down some crazy guy’s hand-dug shaft? Anyone?

Heh, I think “fixer kitchen” might be something of an understatement here.

Oh that’s what this is. A roof. Good thing they annotated all the photos otherwise how could I have possibly known what I am looking at here.

Because, you know… how else are buyers going to know that your dishwasher is capable of being opened?

…or your microwave?

…or your ovens?

Of course, now I can’t help but wonder… with none of the 52 pictures on this listing showing these appliances closed… maybe they are just stuck open?

Why yes, yes I believe that is exactly what that is.