After a hard day as corporate CEO, come home to your own private Versailles, complete with reflecting pool…

…formal garden…

…and grand entrance hall. Note the gold accented stair rail and expansive built-in shelving.

There’s more where that came from, along with an imperial oodles’ worth of closet space.

And when you’re ready to relax, as well as admire your royal self, retreat to your very own Hall of Mirrors, surfaced with marble, exotic hardwoods and – of course – gold-bracketed light fixtures.

Ahhh… That’s better!

Gotta love listings that prominently feature photos of the random statuary.

Horses and topless girls go together like peanut butter and jelly, apparently.

Look in on your liquor collection from outdoors! Because you can!

This last one is actually the first photo on the listing. The really odd part about it is that it looks sort of weathered, like it’s a photograph of a computer screen or something instead of just a screenshot.

No idea what’s going on down on the water beneath this home.

Some kind of photoshop-artifact ghost apparently haunts these parts.

Okay, whatever… How’s the actual house?

Let’s take a look at the only full exterior shot:

New sales strategy for seven-million-dollar homes: Get your kid to draw the place in colored pencil, include said drawing as the only clear view of the entire exterior.