Rawr.

It’s all in the details.

Behold! This home has a ceiling!

I have to know though: Do all the rad portrait paintings and the giant green table and chair set come with the $17 million price tag? Because if not, just forget it.

Here’s one of 7 almost identical photos of the house.

With all those multiples, a descriptive list will work here.

There are… multiple Persian carpets (too many to count), as well as at least 2 medieval style tapestries; 8 (or possibly 9) fireplaces; at least 4 athletic facilities, including both indoor and outdoor pools and the obligatory regulation indoor tennis court (with added basketball capability); several dramatic staircases, one of which overlooks the tennis court (Pic 49); a plethora of terraces, covered porches, and balconies; 2 inglenooks (Pics 15 &24) plus one quasi-inglenook (Pic 26), all boldly colored; and enough storage space for you and several dozen of your closest friends to ride out the zombie apocalypse in comfort.

So what is there only one of?

To start with, a ceiling fresco, but with multiple cupids, of course.

Your own private village square with dog, but with multiple shopfronts garages, of course.

A purple home office with a sole, purple folk art rooster, but with multiple mystery appliances, of course. (Seriously, what are those things?)

One swimming pool rock waterfall, but with multiple rocks, of course. Although… there is only one “speaker” rock (lower left foreground).

And finally, one lone giraffe, but with multiple spots, of course.

Oh, and there are multiple plants throughout the house for Mr. Giraffe’s foraging pleasure. Of course.

[Special thanks to Marty for locating this 12 minute walk-through video. Turns out there are indeed 9 fireplaces and the mystery appliances are washers and dryers.]

See if you can guess the year this place was built just by looking through these photos…

Here’s what I assume is the “great room.”

And from the other side of those windows, the pool room, complete with its own oddly-placed fireplace:

Once we get into the smaller rooms, the decor gets… eclectic. There’s the orange room:

The blinding yellow room:

The… whatever this is room:

Just yikes. I don’t even know.

Here, have some hideous pink:

According to the listing description, the kitchen was remodeled in 2004. Here’s what they decided to put in:

Ew.

The giant 59-photo set also includes two shots of this rather odd exterior space:

Here’s the hero shot of the front of the home, which actually looks kinda nice from the outside:

So, have you guessed the year it was built? I was thinking ’80s or maybe ’70s after looking through the photos… The actual year: 1979.

For just $1.45 million it could all be yours. Just be sure to set aside another million bucks or so if you want to drag the interior spaces into the twenty-first century.

Seems like with all the negative press around the “rebel flag” these days, you might not want to feature it prominently in the listing photos for your home. I guess things might be different when the home you’re selling is in Nashville, Tennessee.

The home itself has some nice detail work…

But it also has some oddly modern-looking spaces:

And some confusing ones:

And some spaces that look back at you:

Asking price for all this: $16.3 million.

At 22,000 square feet and over five acres, it’s quite the estate. Of course, if you buy it you have to live in Nashville, so there is that.

You’re looking at the interior of a 117-year-old, six thousand square foot home in Bronxville, New York listed at four million dollars.

Note: If this page was slow to load for you, it’s because the photos for this one are huge. You might want to right-click on each picture and open in a new tab or new window to fully appreciate them.

Here’s the exterior:

Inside again…

For once, the listing agent gives us some back story to explain the eclectic decor:

Two very different artists live in this house; one does caricatures and collects historically significant bronze animal sculptures, the other creates wildly colorful installations, sculptures and paintings, which are spread all over the interior…walls, floors, cabinets and ceilings. Their South African heritage, together with items brought back from travels to India, Mexico, Ethiopia, Mali, Burkina Faso and Morocco blend into eclectic, international interiors.

That is actually pretty delightful.

Some of the rooms are relatively subdued…

Others, not so much…

I thought the shot below was on the “subdued” list…

…then I saw the taxidermied cat and the stuffed cat flanking the door.

I think those giant clutching hands are actually painted directly on the wall.

The decor definitely isn’t my thing, but the house itself sure is neat.

From the listing description:

An exquisite Grade II Listed Victorian 7 bedroomed, 8 bathroomed old rectory, the subject of a complete roof down restoration in recent years…

Here’s the outside of this 7-bedroom manse:

I don’t know, but when I think about “restoring” a home like that, I don’t think of ultra-tacky modern finishes like this:

But hey, at least they included a zebra.

Yours if you bring an “offer in region of £2,500,000” (~$3.76M). And it would probably only cost another $1M or so to strip out all that garbage and put in something tasteful and appropriate to the home. What a steal!

Nothing like a simulated pair of drowning horses to get you in the worshipful mood.

There’s a lot more than the chapel to this property…

A LOT more.

This majestic northwest lodge sports over 21,000 square feet and sits on over 160 acres.

And whoa. That view.

I don’t have $19 million, but if I did, dang would I be tempted.

That’s an… interesting floor.

Okay let’s be clear here. This is a freakin’ mansion.

With a list price over $6 million.

The photo selection is a bit odd, though.

Obviously the agent is really proud of all the detail work.

I mean really proud.

Oh, and the view.

Also: guess who got their hands on a “drone” and engaged in some illegal commercial activities with it?

If you guessed “the listing agent and/or photographer of this home,” you win!

Ever wonder what Collinwood Mansion would look like if it were sited in the, er, shadow… of LA?

Take a look…

Of course the mirrored backdrop behind the bathtub will have to go…

Added bonus: the neighborhood is only 10 short miles south of San Dimas, home to those other famous movie oddballs, Bill and Ted. Party On, Dudes!

With an asking price of 18 million dollars, you’d expect to be impressed—even in San Francisco, where a mediocre 1,100 square-foot row house goes for over a million bucks. Fortunately, this listing does indeed impress.

From the description:

Originally constructed in 1902 as a stunning replica of the Le Petit Trianon in Versailles France, 3800 Washington Street is San Francisco Landmark 95 and one of the City’s most grand estates.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the original Petit Trianon:

Upon his accession to the throne in 1774, the 20-year-old Louis XVI gave the château and its surrounding park to his 19-year-old Queen Marie Antoinette for her exclusive use and enjoyment. Marie longed to escape Louis and his court, and he gave her just the place… Marie Antoinette thought of the Petit Trianon as a ‘sacred place’, so she never had visitors. Swiss guards, gardeners, and maids never followed her there.

It doesn’t seem like this version would be much of an “escape,” given its placement on just over half an acre smack in the middle of Presidio Heights. Although Presidio Heights is “San Francisco’s most exclusive neighborhood” according to the listing agent, so there is that.

Most listings where the listing agent uses terms like “grand,” “soaring,” “copious,” “stunning,” and “irreplaceable” are barely even worth one such superlative.

I don’t think it’s going out on much of a limb to say that this listing is an exception to that rule.

The listings butler strikes again! Er, well, his Spanish cousin does, anyway.

What I don’t get about this listing is how the same listing can feature this photo:

And then this one:

Really? They couldn’t even manage to level the camera? Sheesh.

Also, FYI. You’re basically a nobody if your 10,000 square foot estate doesn’t have a wall-mounted shark.

And a zebra rug in the wine cellar.

The more you know.

From the submitter, Emerald63:

Fancy living the life of a Tudor king? Or having one pop in for a bit? Try this 1914 Historic Register beauty, which has actually hosted royalty. It took 1,000 craftsmen 7 years to renovate, so it ought to be fit for royalty!

From the MLS listing description:

One of the finest examples of Tudor architecture in the US on almost 8 flat secluded acres in central Los Altos Hills. Listed on Federal Hist Registry(low Property Tax) and updated for a 21st Century lifestyle. Host to royalty and world leaders, Recent multi-million dollar 7+ year renovation by 1000 craftsmen. Compound 4 Separate structures, incl. guest house, Ballroom, Fitness/caretaker facility.

And from the listing agent’s website:

The Morgan Estate is one of the grandest homes in California; locally, only Filoli and the Chateau Carolands compare. Inspired by Speke Hall in Great Britain, The Morgan Estate was built by Percy Tredegar Morgan, a San Francisco businessman whose many accomplishments included starting the California Wine Association, which was the largest winery in the world at that time.

If your home doesn’t have its own name, you obviously haven’t arrived.

Also, if your pool doesn’t have fountain arches, you’re a poser.

From submitter Emerald63:

CLUNK!!! That was the sound of my jaw dropping at this stunning home that has the “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme” factor in spades! Who knew? A French chateau in… Arizona?!

Indeed.

Whoa. That is some kitchen.

Take that, zebra.

Wait, the bathtub has its own fireplace? This place just keeps getting better and better.

Angles: This roof has lots of them.