Looking to get away from it all? Middle Hardwood Island in its entirety can offer exactly that. Exceptional private island living with 3 adorable cottages all connected with walkways. Rocky shoreline down to sandy beach and your own private dock.

Apparently you can’t quite get away from everything, though…

To be honest, I really feel like that description is underselling the fact that you can buy an entire freakin’ island for just $750,000.

Granted, the “3 adorable cottages” are fairly modest.

But seriously, private island. In Maine. For under a million bucks.

It’s even got solar!

I am so sold on this place.

Nothing says “we totally took great care of this house” like ashtrays and cigarettes scattered throughout the place.

The listing for this home included a whopping four photos, two of which prominently feature the smokes. Classy!

This reader-submitted home has some… interesting decor choices, but the upstairs bedroom shown above is definitely my favorite.

This bathroom is pretty great too though:

Love the curtains that match the wallpaper.

Also, what’s up with the creepy shed out back with the blacked-out windows?

I’m sure nothing nefarious at all happens there.