What’s that old saying? Half a house is better than none? This place sure does look like it’s the result of a split-the-assets-down-the-middle divorce. I hope whoever kept this half got to keep his/her Ray Bans, too…

…because with loads of shiny materials, white walls, and a waterfront location in a sunny climate You. ARE. Going. To. Need. Them.

…and not just outside.

You arguably might need a pool, too, given the local temps. Too bad all you get is a hot tub. No nicely designed surroundings, though. But you do get a steam room! (O_o)

Oh, and what looks like an expansive sodalite stone island in the ground floor outdoor kitchen. It’s visually cooling, but yeah… no. For a Miami house who’s price has risen eight fold in less than two years, you really do need a pool.

[addendum by Marty] – Also: lizard!

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This home is not for the easily distracted. So many crazy lighting effects!

Definitely not for the easily disoriented, either.

LED walls. Because we can.

Why shouldn’t your home have built-in screensavers on as many surfaces as possible?

One thing I can say for this place… At least the owner picked one crazy theme and stuck with it. If crazy lighting, dark colors, and lots and lots of reflective surfaces are your thing, you are in luck!

This place gives that all-white San Francisco crib we wrote about back in December a run for its money.

What do you do for fun when you live inside a featureless, colorless void?

Sit around and stare at your Restoration Hardware 1920s German light bulb voltage tester bar, apparently.