If you thought you were going to get any photos of this 672 square foot, 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house offered for sale near Dallas for $70,000… You were wrong.

Instead, all you get is a picture of this portrait of an unknown lady.

The title of this post is taken from the listing description:

Be careful! Unlivable now. Extra large lot, 9 large oak trees make a perfect home site for living & entertaining. On the East & on the West, the homes are newer brick ones. Take this one; update it; maybe add on some square footage & you’ll have a wonderful home or a great flip. CAUTION: Be very careful – flooring is unstable & has trip hazards. Bring your flash light.

Good to know that there are 9 large oak trees. If a listing has any fewer than 7 I don’t even consider it.

$45,000. No bedrooms or bathrooms. No foundation. Just a garage. On the water.

Oh and you still have to pay rent, apparently.

Boat house was re floated and a new remote garage door installed water space rent is approximately $520 per month.

What a deal!

You’re looking at the first two photos for this San Antonio listing.

The listing agent’s description doesn’t mention anything about a $65,000 Maserati Ghibli being included in the home’s $2 million list price.

I really have no idea what’s going on here.

Wow. Interesting choice.

I guess when the actual home is currently just dirt, you get creative.

So… am I buying a home here, or a grainy photo of some old dudes?

Oh look, somebody signed a thing! Totally important to the sale of this home!

The actual home being sold here is nice enough. Good mid-century modern specimen. So what’s with the weird choice of extra photos?

Getting to this home might be a bit of a challenge…

But at least it will be fun!

Wait what are they selling here? A house or an outdoor adventure park?

Wow that is the least-inviting condo building I’ve ever seen.

Oh wait, this photo isn’t actually the “sun-filled,” “well appointed” home being offered for sale? It’s actually a park located a full half mile away?

Well, surely the rest of the photos give us a good idea of what to expect from the $399,000 home, right?

Nope. That’s it. That’s all you get. The obelisk and a poorly-lit kitchen. Enjoy.

Nothing like a photograph of the train that whooshes by ten feet from your backyard to sell your home.

This whole photo set is full of win. In addition to the train, we’ve got a photograph of a computer monitor displaying Bing Maps…

A random dig at property investors…

A… um… painting(?) of a burning Chase Bank…

…and a random wolf howling in front of a giant moon.

Because why not.