What really cracks me up about the primary listing photo for this home is that the agent took the time to photoshop in a blue sky (as evidenced by the glowing edges of the trees) but didn’t bother to do anything about the overwhelming expanse of brown, dead front lawn.

I mean, if you’re going to market your listing with deceptive photos, why not go all the way?

Same story in the back… hey wait a minute, that’s the same exact sky.

And from another angle? Yet again, the same sky.

More glowing trees.

Even the park a few blocks down the street has the same sky. Incredible!

I think the listing agent should have just stuck with the classic Czech Sky. At least then they would have fit in.

The listing description:

Charming Craftsman Bungalow w/ a brand new 2story foundation w/ permits. Updated Electrical. Master Bedrm w/ New Bath & walk-in Clst. Garage transformed into cool hangout space. Front yrd is a damn orchard. Only 3 fams have lived here. Plus rm is perfect for future kitchenReno or?

Uh huh. I guess in this listing agent’s world, “orchard” is a word that means “crudely photoshopped mess.”

What’s the deal with these overpriced Oakland homes including “creative” additions to the primary listing photo?

Hey, wait a minute…

(Checks last week’s similar listing)

Yup. Both homes were listed by Ron Kriss of Lawton Associates. Well, he certainly knows how to get my attention, that’s for sure.

A few photos later we get to see what the “damn orchard” really looks like:

And courtesy of Google Street View, here’s a look at what it looked like before they decided to orchard-ize it:

Last sold less than two years ago for $595,000. With the new landscaping and fresh coat of paint, this one smells an awful lot like a flip. With a sale price of $850,000, I’d say a pretty successful flip, too.

I have to say though, I don’t really “get” the staging:

Turns out this isn’t Ron Kriss’ only listing with a super-fake front yard, either. Here’s another I found in a quick search: 976 57th St., Oakland, CA 94608

Okay Ron, you’re going to have to step up your game if you want to be featured on these pages again. We’re onto your tricks.

No idea what’s going on down on the water beneath this home.

Some kind of photoshop-artifact ghost apparently haunts these parts.

Okay, whatever… How’s the actual house?

Let’s take a look at the only full exterior shot:

New sales strategy for seven-million-dollar homes: Get your kid to draw the place in colored pencil, include said drawing as the only clear view of the entire exterior.

There’s nothing quite like cranking the saturation up to eleven to tell a prospective buyer “welcome to your new home.”

Or maybe that’s really what it looks like on a cloudy day in Westport… on acid.