Summer’s a great time to take a dip in the pool with your shadow kids…

…or do… whatever it is those old guys on the right are doing.

I’ve always wanted a SimHouse of my very own.

Only one problem. If you and your shadow kids want the to buy house they’re supposedly going to build on this land…

…you’re going to have to evict the horse that lives there now.

Nothing odd going on here. Just a totally real family in front of their totally real home.

With totally real cars parked in back.

And totally real transparent trees in the front yard.

Good thing home builders would never ever make misleading renderings with more spacious lots and bigger foliage than reality.

You literally can’t get more waterfront than this—360 degrees of waterfront, located just 1 hour from London!

From the listing description:

Number 1, The Thames, otherwise known as Grain Tower Battery, was built around 1855. … The property is of course in need of complete renovation but could be transformed into almost anything (STPP) – a private residence, an off shore hotel, a houseboat community, outdoor pursuit centre, film location, nightclub, casino to name a few!

And in case you’re having a hard time imagining some of those possibilities, they’ve included some helpful renderings:

Personally I’d go for the classy, see-through pub:

More from the listing:

Planted on a spit of land on the Isle of Grain, it can only be reached at low tide. The bomb-proof 150 year-old estuary gun emplacement is a kilometre off the Isle of Grain shore at the strategically important point where the Thames meets the Medway. The original tower is similar in design to the Martello towers which were first constructed as a defence against Napoleon in the early 19th Century.

So… parking might be a slight issue, but you’re set for home security.

This very unique property can be yours for just £500,000 (about $830,000)!

This condo has a price tag of $5,583,900 and a rather… interesting marketing strategy.

I’m sensing a theme here…

Okay so maybe you’re not a fan of ladies’ backs. Here, have this instead.

Ready to lay down $5,583,900 yet?

“Live in a refuge of nature untamed”

Um… the “untamed nature” is kind of the main reason I have no interest in living in south Florida in the first place.

Can’t you just feel the “originality, attention to detail, and rich quality of community life” exuded by the developer?

I can feel it.

Apparently Luxor Designs spent so much money on the… um… “design” of this home that they could only afford MS Paint to draw the rendering.

Here’s what the home looks like in reality, apparently.

I wonder how they’re going to magically get a 30-40 foot tall tree next to the completed house. Hmm…

Apparently the key to making living in a lifeless desert marginally tolerable is sports cars.

Note how the imaginary rendered cars keep moving around so they are conveniently visible in almost every view.

Even inside.

Okay so the rear shot of this imaginary home hugging the hillside doesn’t appear to have the sports cars. Oh well.

For some reason the official listing photos on this one are tiny, but you can view a much higher-resolution set a Sotheby’s Realty.

That is some seriously impressive computer rendering power, right there. Looking at this picture, it’s like I’m really there, standing on the deck of my ghostly modern manse.

And if that particular carefully-crafted feat of imagineering doesn’t get your juices flowing, try this one from the alternate listing on for size.

Magnificent.

Ghost girl, ghost park people, ghost trees… these imaginary Austin condos have it all!

Even ghost cars!