This home has it all! Something for everyone. The “art” lover…

The garden lover…

The high-energy kids…

The high energy adults…

…wait a minute, is that a stripper pole in the workout room?

Anyway, moving on…

It’s got a castle for the little princess…

…and a sweet arcade room for the gamers.

Of course, for $34.5 million dollars, it had better have something for everyone. With nine bedrooms, seventeen bathrooms, and 14,563 square feet there should be space to fit pretty much anything you can imagine.

From the Wall Street Journal’s House of the Day:

Philanthropist Frederick Forrest Peabody built this neoclassical home in Santa Barbara, Calif., in 1914. The current owners, Sandi and Bill Nicholson, bought it in 1998. Mr. Nicholson is the former chief operating officer of Amway, which manufactures and markets consumer products. ‘It really needed to be restored,’ Mr. Nicholson says. ‘We were happy to save a wonderful hilltop home.’
…
The terraced rose garden includes 500 rosebushes. Mrs. Nicholson says there are peach tones, yellow tones and a ‘hot cocoa’ rose with a terra cotta tone. The garden also includes approximately 200 fruit trees, including lemon, lime, orange, pomegranate and apple. There are 16 varieties of banana trees. Joyce Rey of Coldwell Banker Previews International and Harry Kolb of Sotheby’s International Realty share the listing. The house was first listed in September 2013 with an asking price of $57.5 million. The price was lowered to $49 million in December 2013.

Here’s the comment Emerald63 included in the submission:

Really, where else are you going to find all that plus 23,000sq ft for only $49 million? (Down “significantly” from $57.5 million.)

Not indicated: how many full-time gardeners it takes to maintain such a massive botanical bounty.

I also like the giant winged lions on the left side of the front yard. Can I just have those? They definitely require a lot less maintenance.

Whoa.

This place is seriously incredible.

How is that roof even possible?

SOLD. Or, it would be anyway, if I had 1.8 million dollars.

Asking price: Five million dollars. Total number of photos: 61—most of which are at least halfway decent. And yet, the listing agent chose to lead off their sales pitch with what appears to be a blurry photo of a paper printout of a flyer showing a satellite view of the home. Wow.

And to close things off, they give us… this.

I’m left with so many questions…

Where did the rest of the wall go? What is that strange black thing in the middle? Is the listing agent seriously going to make over $100,000 for this level of effort?