This listing was submitted by Lindsey T., who says:

Slightly terrifying but you just can’t look away :)

Personally I think it’s a little more than just “slightly” terrifying.

But I agree that I can’t look away.

What is even happening here?

Was the previous inhabitant of this home some kind of insane sentient cat?

I can’t even really tell what any of these rooms are supposed to be.

Just about the only recognizable room is the bathroom.

…and I can only just barely tell that it’s a bathroom.

Okay nope, I’m out. Done.

I was raised with authentic vintage beams and planking…

with hand-painted, ceiling-high murals…

and a scrupulously clean barn basement with stone walls.

Besides “a fine appreciation for history,” my barn also has “resort-style grounds with pool, cabana, gym and sauna”…

…as well as a wine cellar, appropriately located in the silo cellar.

It’s a respectable upbringing, being raised in a barn. As the sign says…

It’s A Wonderful Life!

You’re looking at the primary photo for this listing. And Horse is looking at you.

Fully 25% of the photos for this listing are of the horse.

They’re also quite fond of the barn:

That photo in particular is in there twice.

And in case it didn’t quite do the trick, you can always show an interior…

…then go back to the view.

Repeatedly…

And why not toss in an extra, beyond hi-def view, just for the heck of it?

In the dining room…

Even in the hallway…

Well, until you hit the home theater. It’s… um… different…

The busts are of Greek and Roman origin. Some are even of famous philosophers. But the theater is an Egyptian tomb reborn… with a dozen gold thrones seats. And a totally creepy black obelisk.

Even so, the Egyptian theater may not sport the weirdest decor. At least Greek, Roman, and Egyptian are all ancient. But this…?

Definitely a “Wait… what?” moment. I dunno, maybe the dolls count as sorta busts?

…quickly segues into one with some, shall we say, “odd” features.

There seems to be all manner of, for lack of a better term, hangy-downy stuff. Pretty much everywhere.

In the stair hall…

In the bathroom…

In this bedroom…

And in this other bedroom, including the lighting feature over the bed as well as the string sculpture near the windows. The strings resemble both an inverted model of a suspension bridge and a trajectory study of a handgun-related crime scene.

At the least the hangy-downy stuff here isn’t as unpleasant as the stuff at a crime scene might be. But it’s definitely more… “odd.”

Sadly the listing has only the one photo, so we don’t get to see what this patriot’s home looks like inside.

However, we do get to see what the patriot selling this home looks like, thanks to a local news article published in 2008: Everett man’s face a portrait of patriotism

That’s not face paint.

That is a tattoo.

From the Everett Herald article:

He wants people to read the words inked into his skin and think about them, a walking testament to free speech. They are saturated with a love for his adopted country that he has carried for decades.

At Bloomfield’s house, it’s always the Fourth of July.

He grew up poor in an island hut on Tonga, where they see the sunrise before the rest of the world. He stowed away on a boat from American Samoa to California, and later got his green card in 1976.

He was drawn by stories of opportunity and images of money as abundant as suburban grass clippings.

But it takes hard work to live here, he says, and that’s a lesson he shares with his children and grandchildren. He spends his days cutting and packaging crab and salmon at a seafood warehouse.

He pumps iron every other day, his 58-year-old body a carefully maintained canvas filled with provocative words, phrases and pictures.

I wonder why he’s selling?

I do think they’re missing a golden opportunity here by not pricing this thing at $177,600.

Generator pool parties are the best kind of pool party.

Is that guy second from the left holding a fancy TV news-style video camera? Apparently this was quite the noteworthy party.

Anyway, back to the pool. And the generators!

Interestingly, the photos on the “virtual tour” have file names that call this the “Generac home.” Generac is the company that makes the poolside generators, and their headquarters is located less than an hour from this home.

I thought maybe the home was owned by the CEO or some other high-ranking executive at Generac, but searching for a Generac connection to the owner name listed with the county assessor comes up empty.

I choose to believe that what we’re seeing in these photos is the annual meeting of the international Generac fan club.

Nope. Nothing creepy about this room at all. Totally normal.

Also normal: Medieval-style banquet hall dining room seating for 20.

…and a costume room.

Sure, why wouldn’t there be a Día de Muertos themed room, too. Just throw it in there.

Not the craziest taxidermy room we’ve seen, but it’s definitely up there near the top.

The great part about this one is how that room doesn’t show up until the 11th photo in the set. Every other photo before that is of a fairly tame home, with only one clue you get before that is the office antelope.

Wait, office antelope?

I’m definitely also a fan of the bendy flagpole.

That’s an… interesting floor.

Okay let’s be clear here. This is a freakin’ mansion.

With a list price over $6 million.

The photo selection is a bit odd, though.

Obviously the agent is really proud of all the detail work.

I mean really proud.

Oh, and the view.

Also: guess who got their hands on a “drone” and engaged in some illegal commercial activities with it?

If you guessed “the listing agent and/or photographer of this home,” you win!

This seller really likes tiger rugs.

Where do you even find tiger-patterned carpet?

Tiger throw rugs in the kitchen…

…in the living room…

…and in the, um, whatever room that is.

You can find many more tigers—er, I mean photos on the “virtual tour.”

The listing agent selling this disused church building is apparently enamored with this sign.

Only 15 photos and three of them are progressively closer shots of the sign.

Okay, we get it. There used to be a church that met here.

There is so much one could say about this house, but let’s start with that sculpture above. Body of a lion, plus wings, plus the head of a lady. Oooooo-kay.

Conversation overheard between the owner and someone at a party:

“How big is your home?”
“A little over half an acre.”
“No, I mean your house, not the lot.”
“I know.”

Looks like the “half a baby elephant” table also has matching mini-tables. How delightful.

Also: It turns out the owner of this home likes lions.

I mean, a lot.

You can never have too many lions.

Lions, lions, everywhere.

Additional photos can be found on the “virtual tour.”

We could literally fill these pages with nothing but absurd over-the-top Florida estates, but I’m going to my best to abstain from them for a while.

That is one seriously column-tacular living room.

And the marble excess isn’t limited to the columns…

Good to know that faucet works.

Okay, back to the columns.

Oh, and a lion fountain.

Apparently wealthy Floridians really love their lion fountains.

The owner who built this home in 2003 has been trying to unload it since 2010, with no success. According to the listing agent’s website, although it was “previously priced at $6,500,000,” potential buyers can now “name your price.”

I’m docking points for the need to walk on the bowling lane to use the arcade games shown above.

Only one slide into the indoor pool? Sorry, that’s going to knock down my bid a little further.

Gee, that full-sized basketball court sure does have a lot of blue. I’m more partial to red. Going to have to repaint. Guess I’ll have to reduce my bit even more.

Folding chairs at the poker table? Yikes.

Okay, final bid: Five hundred bucks. Take it or leave it.

If you plan to outbid me, sealed bids are due by November 4, 2014 at 3:00 PM.

Lots of interesting sculpture in this one. Starting with the yard full of metal animals…

…continuing on the deck with the arms-up ladies.

Another arms-up lady.

Pretty sure that’s a third separate arms-up lady. Sort of an odd art obsession.

The listing does’t say, but I’m pretty sure all those sweet cars are not included in the $4M list price for this “home.”

What’s that thing in the middle, around the shiny red Mercedes?

Oh, just a freakin’ car lift. No biggie.

So what about the home’s living space? Living room? Kitchen?

Immediately adjacent to the showroom, of course.

And when you’re done gazing at your cars, you can retire to the bedroom…

…and watch cars on TV.

From the submitter:

This one has an Elvis tribute room, a cow kitchen and lots of statuary! What a bizarre mix of curiosities.

Indeed, quite bizarre.

I guess they’re Elvis-loving dairy fiends?

Who also really dig houseplants.

And hang out with cherubs.

Is that… five televisions in one room?!? Plus another screen on the coffee table.

Also: that’s some pool.

It looks so unassuming from the outside, but then once you step inside…

Lions!

And… um… mountain lions!

And polar bears!

Oh my.

I think this place may take the taxidermy crown from the Gig Harbor, WA home we featured a couple years ago.

Also, who keeps six buffet servers in their dining room? This place is creeping me out for a variety of reasons.

But hey, at least there’s this:

Yay, train! Probably not as awesome as the incredible “Railway Resort” in Oregon (which is still for sale, by the way, and $1.7 million cheaper than this place), but hey it’s a lot cooler than a bunch of dead animals.

So much brown in this home. Brown kitchen…

…brown dining room…

…and a super brown bedroom.

Even the exterior is mostly brown! Just looking at this place has me browned out.

What, no Batmobile included?

I love that the Batstudy has 3 TVs… all tuned into sports.

I assume this elevator goes down to the Batcave, but there aren’t any photos of said Batcave in the listing. Probably too top-secret.

Sometimes Batman’s gotta relax, right?

Also great about this listing: the sheer number of televisions. I counted at least a dozen, including this one:

Because if you can’t watch TV behind one of your pool’s waterfalls, you’re basically a poser.

I have to say, a living room and a car showroom are not two rooms that I’ve ever thought to myself: “It would really be cool if we could combine those two rooms.”

But, well… here we are. Obviously the garage just wasn’t big enough.

I love how sometimes you can look at a house—even a really expensive SoCal manse like this—and immediately know what decade it was built, just by looking at a single room.

Boom. ’90s kitchen. Gotta love those oak cabinets. Wait no, I don’t.

I hope you like rectangles.

Because this Boston-area mid-century modern is basically 100% rectangles.

Even most of the furniture is rectangular.

Much nicer photos than those on the listing, as well as a floor plan can be found on the virtual tour.

According to said virtual tour, this room is apparently the “office.” Nothing helps me be productive quite like sewage waste rushing down the pipes right next to my face while I work.

Other than this odd room, the home is quite nice.

What is it about horses that seems to inspire these horse shrines?

This is not the first horse shrine we’ve seen on Looney Listing.

The rest of the house is relatively normal. I mean, as normal as you would expect for a $7 million listing.

That’s quite a bit of green.

I will admit to feeling an inkling of envy for their outdoor grill / party space.

It looks like such a nice, unassuming little house…

But then… you walk inside… and you see… Them.

Figurines, action figures, tchotchkes, dolls…

Call them what you will, they’re *everywhere*. ‘Kaaay… that’s weird.

But Wait! There’s more!! Even a brief sojourn to The Underworld (aka The Basement) will reveal…

The Lair of the Evil Genius, where all of Them were brought to Life!!!

Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!

From the listing description:

Space is currently home to a private members only club with full kitchen, 2 bathrooms, storage and several meeting rooms.

Well it’s not quite so “private” anymore now, is it? From the decor, I get the feeling that this was a “guys only” kind of club.

You can even check out the full floor plan of this swanky 2,700 square foot pad.

Doesn’t really look like they’re the most organized club of all time, either.

• pink cabinets: check
• pink rug: check
• pink pillows: check
• pink microwave: check
• pink teapot: check
• pink toaster: check
• pink ladle: check
• pink sink: check
• pink bucket: check

• pink table: check
• pink trash can: check

• pink sheets: check
• pink curtains: check
• pink lamp: check
• pink whatever-those-are-under-the-black-table: check

That is a lot of pink.

Thankfully, all the pink apparently leaves with the current occupant:

Offered unfurnished…

Phew. That was a close one.

From Emerald63, who found this gem:

This fantasy B&B is about more than decor – look at all the built-in details. There are castle, pirate ship, even prehistoric cave dwelling suites… and more! Great price in a nice resort area. Not high-end, but loads of middle-class fun.

I’m pretty sure this is the first listing we’ve featured here that has its own profile on both TripAdvisor and Yelp.

Not sure why the photos are such low quality, but if I had to guess I’d say maybe it is because better-quality photos might reveal the unfortunate state of disrepair these “cottages” have fallen into.

The Yelp page has a painfully detailed review from about a year ago along with 37 photos of the sad state of affairs that were uploaded by the reviewer.

The lack of maintenance seems to extend to their online presence, too. Their official website looks like it hasn’t been updated since the ’90s.

At 469 days on market, I question the listing’s claim that “the owner needs to relocate.” Seems like if the need was all that pressing they might have bothered taking a few nicer photos or at least dropping the price once or twice.