Found by: anonymous

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

5 Comments on "A Very Expensive Maserati"

  1. Emerald63 | May 21, 2014 at 1:49 PM |

    Well that’s a mystery… It’s not like the house has nothing on its own to recommend it – it’s lovely! The architecture has a number of features that recur and tie together the overall experience yet still manage to create spaces that are not simply carbon copies of one another. There’s a famous maxim on what “good architecture” should include. In his “Ten Books on Architecture,” 1st century BC Roman Vitruvius outlined 3 fundamental characteristics of design: “firmitas, utilitas, and venustas (i.e., structural stability, appropriate spatial accommodation, and attractive appearance).” They are known in English as firmness, commodity, and delight. This place has all three in spades, although “firmness” may be an illusion…

    I would be interested to know if the arches and vaulting are structural or merely decorative. The listing says it was built in 2000, but if it’s a remodeled former mission building (as the centralized dining room hints) both features might be genuine. More likely, it’s not a rebuild (I think it would have said so if it were), in which case at least some of the arches still have a good chance of being structural while the vaulting is most likely just for show. But what a show!

    Every image of the house and grounds screams wealth, quality, and style. Why in the world did anyone ever think it needed selling “help” from the emotionally childish show off tactic of including an expensive car in the listing? Methinks someone is so attuned to aggressive selling that s/he missed the home’s own innate ability to sell itself.

  2. Ewwwwwww, I loathe this kind of ostentatious crap. Over the top interior design…yuck.

  3. his Maserati does one-eighty-five.
    If I make this commission, that’s what I’ll drive.
    I’ve listed this mansion to pay me its price.
    Ain’t never been there, they tell me its nice.

    They say I’m crazy but I have a have a good time
    The pro’s take the pictures, MLS is no crime
    Life’s been good to me so far

    The upscale home market wants sales and can’t wait.
    They write me letters, tell me I’m great.
    So I got me an office, gold keys on the wall.
    Just leave a message, maybe I’ll call.

    I show their houses, sometimes until four
    It’s hard to do when you can’t find the door
    It’s tough to handle all this fortune and fame
    The market’s so different, I haven’t changed

    They say I’m lazy but it takes all my time
    They keep on payin’, guess I’ll never know why
    Life’s been good to me so far…

  4. …Well, I’m sure the realtor is actually an entirely admirable and hard-working professional – one who likely has a shrewd grasp of his market and earns every cent of his fees for dealing with demanding people in high-stress transactions. I just couldn’t resist teasing. :D

  5. Emerald63 | May 25, 2014 at 3:21 PM |

    @anodean: Awesome song parody, anodean!! I’ve always had a preverse pride in Joe Walsh being from nearby Wichita. Stoner deluxe made good… WOOT!


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