Totally Normal Texas Living

1070 Mustang Crossing Dr., Pipe Creek, TX 78063-5975

Nope. Nothing creepy about this room at all. Totally normal.

1070 Mustang Crossing Dr., Pipe Creek, TX 78063-5975

Also normal: Medieval-style banquet hall dining room seating for 20.

1070 Mustang Crossing Dr., Pipe Creek, TX 78063-5975

…and a costume room.

1070 Mustang Crossing Dr., Pipe Creek, TX 78063-5975

Sure, why wouldn’t there be a Día de Muertos themed room, too. Just throw it in there.

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

5 Comments on "Totally Normal Texas Living"

  1. What? It looks like some of the rooms were actually supposed to be an art gallery of sorts. So they have a throne room, church pews, and a wall full of crosses? The decor is just confusing. The kitchen looks like my daughter’s room when we decorated it a la Barbie back when she was in elementary school. She’s way beyond that now and her old room has long been completely redone and looking to be redone again in the near future.

    For nearly $3M, some of the rooms look to be faux hardwood laminate. Really? Other floors look like well-used, authentic hardwood. The exterior looks like a rebuilt mill or ore processing plant. I like character, but I’m wary about these kinds of characters.

  2. For $3M there’s an awful lot to not like about this one…

    Take Pics 1-14, for example. Boxy much? As in zero personality. Not the contents, obviously, just the exterior and the individual rooms. The words “glorified cardboard box” come to mind, and I use the word “glorified” only as it relates to size; the exterior materials in Pics 1 & 25 look positively el-cheapo.

    Speaking of el-cheapo, there are two kitchens (Pics 6 & 17) and they’re both crappy? Check out the cabinets and visible appliances in Pic 6. We just bought a stove (after perusing dozens online) and the ones here look really average. And the Pic 17 kitchen looks like someone bought the last bits of the paint no one else wanted because they were on deep discount. While it does have… personality… it also gives the impression that one is actually part of the birthday cake, rather than just being the baker.

    Let’s talk “amenities” while we’re talking cheap… Almost no landscaping to speak of. Apparently no garage, despite the famous hail storms of central Texas (which must sound ghastly under all that metal roofing). Last, and quite possibly least, an above ground pool in a $3 million house? Seriously?? Add to all this the adjacent “river” with the potential for flash flooding.

    I have to say, the historic stone section is fabulous and the view from the upstairs deck (Pic 24) is certainly nice. But I could have taken nothing but those, for perhaps 1/10th the price, and been much more satisfied.

  3. I’m not convinced that this place has been used as a single-family home as decorated. I mean — a full chapel, with an altar, lectern and even what appears to be a tabernacle? If this place is a single family dwelling, it is a large, extremely devout family.

  4. @MsWildhack: Greetings, MsWildhack! Welcome!! The size of the place does beg the question, eh? Perhaps this is/was a retreat center for religious groups? Or maybe a large Hispanic Catholic family once occupied it?

  5. Yeah, this place is a puzzler. The listing says there are two master bedrooms; you don’t see that too often. Hispanic and Catholic, certainly, but there is a strong whiff of big money here that comes not only from the size but from the essential uselessness of the place.

    Ah, but the questing mind does wander across the boundaries of the incomprehensible, and can’t help but wonder if it is “rolled-up $100 notes plus white powder” money? :-D


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