Out of Place HDR, Part III

5954 Kirkwood Place N, Seattle, WA 98103

To wrap up our impromptu “Out of Place HDR” week on Looney Listing, let’s behold this gem, also in Seattle, with an asking price of over half a million dollars.

5954 Kirkwood Place N, Seattle, WA 98103

I especially like how in the above photo the light on the ceiling is far brighter in the full-wall mirror than it is in the foreground. Magic physics!

5954 Kirkwood Place N, Seattle, WA 98103

Nothing says “let’s cozy up and watch some TV” like boxes piled to the ceiling. Oh and no furniture to sit on because there isn’t room for any furniture among all the clutter. So cozy!

Found by: Chad D.

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

6 Comments on "Out of Place HDR, Part III"

  1. Emerald63 | March 8, 2013 at 3:35 PM |

    Oh dear….. What a sad state of affairs that *this* can go for over $500K. Tsk tsk. I’m not even talking about the mess, either. Where to start?

    Well, the built ins are all hideous and pretty cheap looking, too. I’m talking about the kitchen cabinetry, the dresser/closet assembly that the TV is sitting on in the last pic above, the closet under the sloped ceiling, and the sideboard thing in the dining room. The kitchen cabinets may once have been nice, but at this point they need to be stripped down and refinished along with getting majorly updated hardware. Otherwise, it’s replacement time, which is Big $$. The sideboard might be salvageable, again with better hardware, but also with a better finish, something that doesn’t end up looking like the rough-hewn, el-cheapo plywood it does now.

    Speaking of replacements… carpeting, other flooring, appliances and some bathroom fixtures all need to be. That shower stall looks old and used enough that cleaning may not be enough to improve it. And what’s with the other bathroom, the narrow little passage between the corner of the tub and the corner of the vanity? I can see major hip and/or shin bruises in the future of anyone who lives or visits here. Add in the new sheet-rock you’ll need after removing the wall’o’mirrors, along with something to replace the chintzy ceiling tiles, and we’re getting into serious amounts of money.

    See what I mean? Even if this place were immaculate, it would still suck a ton of cash out of you just to make it look decent. That ain’t supposed to be the case for a 1950s tract house that’s priced at over $500K! Even in Seattle!! The location is prime, but C’MON! (And I didn’t even mention the probably-loaded-with-asbestos exterior shingles and the price to have them removed by licensed, EPA approved pros.) Even the little video at the end of the slide show can’t save this dog. (No insult to dogs.)

  2. Emerald63 | March 8, 2013 at 3:38 PM |

    Ah yes… about the HDR… perhaps the money spent on inventing and perfecting that technology would have been better used to fun *mandatory* decorating and housekeeping classes for everyone who wants to own a home. Just sayin’…..

  3. Emerald63 | March 8, 2013 at 3:38 PM |

    @Emerald63: Right… that’s “fund” mandatory….

  4. To me it looks like mom and pop have had this place for decades. Probably since the 1950s from the looks of things, there are no records of the property changing hands. Their kids grew up here and the grandkids are already putting their mark on things. They tried to ‘clean’ up by pushing things out of the way and vacuuming, but really they know all they are selling is the location anyway. Anyone who is buying this property for 500k would be going in intending to completely gut and renovate it…what difference are some boxes going to make? If it was move in ready it would be listed for even more. Clearly mom and pop can’t keep it up like they used to (some of the furniture/carpets are 20+years and still looking decent.). It is time to retire with their well deserved 500k nestegg. BTW, it sold already.

  5. Also the kitchen and dining room are lovely.

  6. @Samme: I think you called it, Samme – another chorus of the “Ain’t a-gonna need this house no longer” song plays in the background of this one. :D

    My first reaction was “That looks like an actual, vintage chrome-legged kitchen stool with fold out steps, in very nice condition… right bang in the middle of (a heap of junk obscuring) a knotty-pine semi-finished basement rumpus room with that classic panel-and-trim-strip ceiling. I could go on about those ceilings…

    But the rest of my reaction was, “D’you suppose that stool will convey?”

    Not that new owners will be showcasing any retro touches, as you say. Only the $500k price tag prevented my just assuming it was a knockdown for location, location, location… bon voyage old folks, and Godspeed. :)


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