Get Your Ass To Mars

423 35th Ave S., Seattle, WA 98144

Haven’t you always wanted to enjoy the butterscotch Martian skies from the comfort of your living room? Well apparently NOW YOU CAN, right here on Earth!

423 35th Ave S., Seattle, WA 98144

Seattle is a weird place.

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

12 Comments on "Get Your Ass To Mars"

  1. The butterscotch skies are better than the dark chocolate kitchen. I don’t care for that color scheme at all, nor the cabinet hardware. The rest isn’t too bad, though I’d give it my best shot to turn the currently rather sterile decor into something that makes a bit more of a statement. With the hardwood, the windows, and that view, it shouldn’t be too difficult.

    Speaking of the view… always an added help to be able to see firsthand when Rainier blows its top. Having a functional teleporter nearby would be another plus.

    Do you suppose the bathroom is *really* that spacious? Or is that just a camera illusion? Hmm… I guess even bathrooms gain ten pounds on camera…….

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  2. My initial reaction was “Giant Communal Tanning Booth – Amaze Your Friends!” … and then Emerald noted a certain “sterile” quality to the decor, so I actually went and looked at the listing. She’s right.

    Not only is there literally nothing alive in there – even the obligatory stress-relief plant is a silk fake – but the short description specifically touts “Killer views … layout allows for memorable soires.”

    Yes, well, I’d call being personally sanitized by UV radiation memorable. The place was obviously outfitted by a wealthy germ-phobe intent upon maintaining his social connections, who like as not survived their memorable experience – but given his own 24/7 exposure, I’m guessing this is an estate sale.

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  3. “I guess even bathrooms gain ten pounds on camera……. ”

    Love it, Emerald.

    *

    It looks like a normal moderately upscale place to me. Perhaps the butterscotch photos and view make it look like a million dollar home. I’m not sold at the price. I can get a lake home like this down the road from me at half that.

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  4. @anodean: I wouldn’t be surprised if the decor was what the real estate folks had on hand to fill up an empty listing. I sure hope so, otherwise… that is One.Boring.Owner.

    RE: “I’d call being personally sanitized by UV radiation memorable…”
    Maybe, but not nearly as memorable as the procedure described in Selection #8 here:
    http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/emrose6
    The title “Vulcan Rubdown” is a good preview, but if you’re not familiar with the show “Enterprise” let me know and I’ll explain the reference to you. The song is from an entire album of “filk,” songs about sci-fi, D&D gaming, Ren Faires, and other geek convention fodder called “Con Suite.” BTW, there’s a better song sample at iTunes but I’m not sure how to get you to it if you don’t already have an account.

    Read more about the awesomeness that is Emerald Rose (no relation) here: http://www.emeraldrose.com/
    And yes, you read that right – they are playing the Oscar party for The Hobbit cast and crew. Played for the LotR parties, too. And I KNOW these guys!!!

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  5. @Frodo: Thank you, Frodo. My reply to Anodean will likely interest you as well, given your screen name.

    I think I know why the butterscotch home is so pricey… it’s obviously one of those hand-made gourmet “artisan” candy houses.

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  6. @Emerald63: *snerk* – can’t beat that!

    I’m hoping to catch some of the “Wrock” sets at a Harry Potter do next May. Given my own bent for subverting lyrics, I figure it should be fun. ;)

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  7. @anodean: “Wrock”? Is that a group or a genre or what?

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  8. I *think* it’s the genre of “Wizard Rock,” i.e. original and parodied music celebrating the Harry Potter universe… but I can’t rule out it being the name of a group. They all seem to be extremely creative. :)

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  9. Denita TwoDragons | December 21, 2012 at 3:19 PM |

    With the way that house glows, how do we not know that it’s not sitting directly over the site of a major super-secret nuclear waste dump, hmmm….? If you buy that house and wake up one morning with three genders and an extra arm, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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  10. @Denita TwoDragons: … and a nice tan. After a memorable soire, thanks to its “layout.” You’ve definitely cracked the case: don’t clean up radioactive super-sites, just market them to people who want to have germ-free homes where they can invite like-minded people!

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  11. @Denita TwoDragons: “With the way that house glows…” I don’t think that nuclear waste dump is actually all that “super-secret.” Just sayin’…

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  12. @anodean: Hate to say it, but I don’t think the house would be “germ-free,” just full of even weirder, mutated germs. Hmm… do you suppose storing antibiotics there would mutate them equally? And in the right ways?

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