Crooked, blurry primary photo, taken from an odd angle? Check.
Weirdly-sparse, poorly-lit interior shot? Check.
Horribly exposed shot of the view, taken through a window with lots of distracting reflections? Check.
Death ray in the bathroom? Check.
Okay, looks like we’ve got everything. We’re ready to sell a five million dollar home in Malibu!
Nothing makes you feel like a million bucks in a $5 million dollar home than having “$35 million dollar homes across the street.”
And someone tell me: I looked at the street view. Doesn’t the right turn only lane to get to the house look like a bike lane?
And what does that mean written on the road: STOP CLEAR KEEP? Is this ambiguous signage typical in California?
@Frodo: Looks like a bike lane to me, too, and they can’t expand it because there are fire hydrants and junction boxes smack on the corner.
I think the road signage is meant to read as two separate items, “Keep Clear” and “Stop.” The Keep Clear likely is meant to keep cars on Encinal Canyon Road that are waiting to get onto the Pacific Coast Highway from blocking Puesta Del Sol, the street our listing fronts onto. Basically, a larger scale version of a “don’t block the driveway” message.
The $35M homes aren’t the only thing that are “across the street,” so is the “beautiful sandy beach,” although “just across the street” ain’t as easy as it sounds. Most beach access is on private land; public access is several hundred feet down the road. You’ll have to either take the shortest vacay drive ever or a fairly long walk down the Pacific Coast Highway – without sidewalks – to get to them. Might be better to opt for the pool. Too bad the views from there are of an epic row of garbage cans that’s not mentioned in the listing, along with all the lovely power lines, which are visible in Marty’s “horribly exposed shot” with “distracting reflections.”
The house itself has possibilities, though personally for $5M I’d expect more of the bathrooms and kitchen; time to remodel. The hideous stair rail also needs to go – Yuck! But with a more inviting color scheme (strike that – any color scheme) and something other than the seriously lame current decor, this place might be worthwhile. We middlings of society may see the price as prohibitive, but for the area it’s quite reasonable. And hey – Doric columns in the entryway!!
@Emerald63: Darn if I didn’t forget that all that lame decor is included… Oh well, if you can get some no-accounting-for-taste sucker to pony up some bucks for them, you’ll have that much more to spend on something better. …I wonder if you need a permit to have a yard sale in this area? :D
@Emerald63: I now have an indelible mental image of all the stock characters (the snooty, the eccentric, perhaps a few name-brand celebrities) swarming an up-scale yard sale, passing comments on the tchotchkes, haggling down the prices, dropping small objects into large handbags… :D