One Location, Yet All Over The Map

[Submission and script by Emerald63. Thanks!]

It starts off innocently enough with an indoor forest…

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

Gradually escalates to a guy watching you sleep…

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

Then… jumps straight down the throat of interior design Hell.

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

Just in case you hadn’t already realized it, this place outright tells you it has “Everything You Want”

2800 Pacific Ave., San Francisco, CA 94115

And folks, this is just the tip of the iceberg – there are over 70 gloriously eye-popping listing photos, including the ubiquitous San Francisco mansion view of Alcatraz.

Found by: Emerald63

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

9 Comments on "One Location, Yet All Over The Map"

  1. Emerald63 | March 4, 2014 at 6:09 PM |

    Because if you can afford to live at the crest of the Pacific Heights neighborhood, you can decorate however you damn well please! Enjoy… just make sure to have your sunglasses handy, in case the contrast on your monitor is turned up. :D :D :D

  2. After you spend any time at all in either of those bathrooms, with their terrifying walls, you have to go to the “Everything You Want” room, with its blobby chairs and wavy floor because (you guessed it!) you’re too tense (two tents). Okay, that joke worked better phonetically than in writing.

  3. I don’t claim to be a great design maven in the least, but this place looks so ridiculous I couldn’t help but end up in the throes of uncontrollable chuckling. They even posted a closeup of the wallpaper like it was a selling point.

    They have… teepees next to one of the fireplaces…
    The whatever-it-is black and white crap on the walls with the toilet…
    The shower entrance to the bathtub…
    A Buddha at the foot of the bed…

    I could buy this place and sell tickets.

  4. Emerald63 | March 5, 2014 at 4:02 PM |

    @JMixx: Works for me, lol!

    RE: the “blobby” chairs… I saw a pic of one in brilliant blue a while back and made a captioned LOL from it, warning of the dangers of “Groverticulitis” and reminding people to always get their shots before traveling to Sesame Street. Went nowhere (no votes, no faves), even though I thought it was damn good. Oh well…

  5. Emerald63 | March 5, 2014 at 4:11 PM |

    @Frodo: I’m glad you enjoyed it, Frodo. I, too, was about falling out of my chair when I first found it. Kinda hard to believe, ain’t it?

    I have to admit, I kind of like the indoor forest concept, just as I like the vertical moss garden behind the bathtub with the shower entrance. I also like the room in Pics 55 & 56, including the weird feathered light fixture. It’s eccentric, but it’s not retina-damaging and I like the color and texture combos.

    Some of the rooms (note *some*) are OK on their own, but the full-on sensory onslaught of putting them all in the same house is just, well, just… it’s an open and shut case of Assault with a Deadly Decor, that’s what it is!

  6. Emerald63 | March 5, 2014 at 4:12 PM |

    @Emerald63:@Frodo: Forgot… I think the black and white walls are just a really good paint job. Enough painter’s tape and the sense to use a level and it’s fairly easy to do.

  7. (To all:) Thank goodness, I thought it was the cold medicine; but if you all see it, too, I should be OK. Sooner or later. Mostly.

  8. Emerald63 | March 7, 2014 at 2:49 PM |

    @anodean: LOL! Hope you feel better soon. :)

  9. @Emerald63: ROFL at “Groverticulitis”!!!! Grover was my favorite Sesame Street character; I even do a passable Grover voice.


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