Apparently We Have Very Different Definitions of “Restoration.”


From the listing description:

An exquisite Grade II Listed Victorian 7 bedroomed, 8 bathroomed old rectory, the subject of a complete roof down restoration in recent years…

Here’s the outside of this 7-bedroom manse:


I don’t know, but when I think about “restoring” a home like that, I don’t think of ultra-tacky modern finishes like this:


But hey, at least they included a zebra.


Yours if you bring an “offer in region of £2,500,000” (~$3.76M). And it would probably only cost another $1M or so to strip out all that garbage and put in something tasteful and appropriate to the home. What a steal!

Found by: Waffle_On

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

4 Comments on "Apparently We Have Very Different Definitions of “Restoration.”"

  1. There are some nice spaces – outside. There are actually a handful of nice elements that remain on the inside. However, the place would give me style whiplash. I don’t much like the modern elements here if they were in a modern house… in a modern neighborhood… in a modern town. They wouldn’t look right in this house if they were tasteful on their own. But walking up to a nice, English, country manse, and then walking inside to see this… it’s rather jarring.

  2. Oh, and I wonder the style sense of making a room match the mermaid painting. Really? Did they pay extra to get the sofa in that shade of orange?

    I only hope that the skipper is wearing trousers and that they are simply flesh-colored. The naked mermaid makes me wonder.

  3. @Frodo: “There are some nice spaces – outside.”


    “Did they pay extra to get the sofa in that shade of orange?”

    If they’re really crass, they may have bought the painting to match a pre-existing sofa.

  4. Where in the world to begin? There are so many choices! New theory on the British predilection for sensibility-walloping, over-sized prints on wallpaper, upholstery, carpets, etc… Could they be reliving their glory days, when keeping a stiff upper lip was the response to the rigors of maintaining a worldwide empire? Only today, it’s the godawful prints they must withstand? Whatever, it seems almost genetic.

    At least in the kitchen and the mermaid suite there’s a defense for the jarring color scheme – the areas are not original to the house. But that still leaves the rest of the place, with perhaps the Black-&-White-&-Red-All-Over sitting room as the worst offender. It’s hard to tell.

    But the house proper (I know… irony) seems to have had nothing other than bad surfaces added to it, the sort of thing that can be replaced without too much trouble, except for the enormous(-ly overdone) mirror in the master bathroom. Structurally the main section seems close to the original. Perhaps that’s all that concerns the overlords at English Heritage, that and exterior appearance.

    For the price the place does have a good amount of space, a lovely garden and lawn, and is definitely private – there is nary an intrusion around other than microscopic villages for at least 30 miles in all directions.


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