Half an Acre, A Whole Lotta Crazy

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

There is so much one could say about this house, but let’s start with that sculpture above. Body of a lion, plus wings, plus the head of a lady. Oooooo-kay.

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

Conversation overheard between the owner and someone at a party:

“How big is your home?”
“A little over half an acre.”
“No, I mean your house, not the lot.”
“I know.”

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

Looks like the “half a baby elephant” table also has matching mini-tables. How delightful.

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

Also: It turns out the owner of this home likes lions.

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

I mean, a lot.

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

You can never have too many lions.

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

Lions, lions, everywhere.

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

Additional photos can be found on the “virtual tour.”

13811 Luray Rd, Southwest Ranches, FL 33330

We could literally fill these pages with nothing but absurd over-the-top Florida estates, but I’m going to my best to abstain from them for a while.

Found by: Christin C.

About the Author

Marty E.

Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

7 Comments on "Half an Acre, A Whole Lotta Crazy"

  1. This is like Noah’s Ark redux with Betty Boop and Santa Claus thrown in for giggles.

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  2. This is vulgar.

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  3. @Frodo: May I assume you are referring to the “intelligent design” theme park in Kentucky rather than the vessel that allegedly came to rest on Mt. Ararat?

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  4. @Paradox: Just a general reference. I doubt that the real Noah would be into taxidermy like this, although the Creation Museum might be like many nature museums that feature displays of dead animals for educational purposes. This was just so many, that I could imagine the legendary Noah waking below deck to feed the boat full of hungry critters and seeing sights like this, only with living animals.

    Somehow, I doubt the preservation of species is what the owners here have in mind.

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  5. Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope. You’re familiar with the term “breath-taking”? Here’s a new one for you… vomit-taking. It came, unbidden, from the depths of hel… er… my stomach.

    Jesus, even Napoleon didn’t have this much of a Napoleon complex. I’m telling you, when I take over the universe, just the table lamps in Pic 8 will get you summary execution for crimes against all sapient life forms. And anyone with a half million dollar closet and zero taste will be subject to immediate forfeiture of the entirety of their estate, to be redistributed among the thousands of people who “live” in tin shacks or cardboard boxes and will have nary a crumb to eat for dinner tonight.

    Color me completely disgusted for sooo many reasons.

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  6. @Paradox: Hmm… “Vulgar” …Once again your gift for highly efficient brevity amazes me.

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  7. @Frodo: Agreed with Noah not being into taxidermy. Have to assume Jehovah wouldn’t be too happy if he were, what with going to all the trouble to tell Noah to save the animals, not stuff them. And really… you bother to murder and mount that many of them and the best you can do is atrocious turquoise walls under… flourescent lights?! Methinks the owner might want to duck and cover before the lightning bolts start flying…

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