Creepy Bedroom Stare Down

8 Brooks Hill Rd., Lincoln, MA 01773

Um. What is on that bed? Is it a baby? A creepy fat doll? That’s one way to cut a tour short, I suppose. If I walked into a bedroom and saw that… thing staring me down, I’d be out of there right quick.

Also… what’s with the photo of the monolith in the back yard?

8 Brooks Hill Rd., Lincoln, MA 01773

At least the home features a cool bathtub.

8 Brooks Hill Rd., Lincoln, MA 01773

Well, cool-looking, anyway. Not sure how comfortable it would be to actually use.

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

11 Comments on "Creepy Bedroom Stare Down"

  1. Emerald63 | May 22, 2013 at 5:32 PM |

    You’ve got me, Marty, about the monolith. But I think I could handle that doll, at least after recovering from my initial scream. The rest of the place is nice enough that I’d definitely try to get over it.

    Awesome kitchen appliances! Lovely hardwood floors and mullioned windows, including the sliding French doors in the dining room. (Hopefully, all the regular windows have authentic mullions and not the goofy 2D fake ones on the sliding doors.) Nice setting with a screened porch *and* a deck? I’m in!

    My only complaints are the exterior color, which is easily fixable, and the low-flow toilet in Pic 17. Really, what’s the point if you end up having to flush multiple times anyway?

    As for decor that gives me way more pause than the creepy doll… how about that bedstead in Pic 10? If those bedposts have hidden quick-release catches you could use them to pummel the daylights out of an intruder! Never seen a bed with “balls” that big before!!

  2. Emerald63 | May 22, 2013 at 5:33 PM |

    @Emerald63: Oh dear, forgot about the bathtub. Yes, it looks uncomfortable to sit in, but of more interest to me is how the hell you get into the durned thing. That looks like a bone breaker just waiting to strike. (O_o)

  3. @Emerald63: I thought the same thing about the bathtub. It reminds me somewhat of a Japanese bath, although those look considerably more comfortable. Then it reminded me of an Indian shower which typically has a large bucket and one or two smaller buckets to use with the shower and toilet. With regard to the low-volume toilet, in India I’ve found it helpful to use one of the buckets to help “flush” the toilet. So now I’m wondering where the smaller buckets are.

  4. Emerald63 | May 23, 2013 at 2:37 PM |

    @Frodo: India? My goodness! Are you a world traveler? Or are you living there? Or are you a native?

    My best friend in high school was Iranian-American and had lived in Tehran for 8 years as a child and teen. (Her family got out just before the revolution in the 1970s.) She told me much of how daily hygiene is approached in that part of the world, so I’m more “shocked” by the revelation of your connection to India than to the bucket business.

    I certainly hope you haven’t inadvertently used the famed long-lost bucket belonging to the LOLrus at! LOLrus would most certainly become even more depressed if you have. ;)

  5. Well, if that first picture don’t beat all. I haven’t actually thought about defense against a leaping menace that size since the time those darned opossums climbed up inside the plumbing wall in the middle of the night.

    Although you have advantage of daylight in this situation, the demonic doll has unfortunately got control of the best weapon in the room: the bedspread. Retreat quietly, strip one from another room, and have at it. Never let something like that get by you – you have to sleep sometime, and they know it.

    As for the unique tub, I’d take it over the old claw-foot monsters. With this one, you could sit on one of those towels and easily lift each leg over in turn. A claw-foot is just that little bit too low to do that – while also being just high enough to put its edge into the inside of your knee as you crane yourself in or out and break a blood vessel.

    So, what the heck? If you’ve got good reflexes, a yen for a zen relaxation tub, and don’t mind accidentally owning the monolithic anchor of some unspeakable otherworldly threat, go for it! You can always dynamite the thing.

  6. @Emerald63: I’m more American Indian (Cherokee) than Asian Indian, but I’ve been to India a few times. This is kind of like what you would find in bathing accommodations in India in the average hostel. If they have a squatty-potty, it is usually on a raised part a few inches above the floor. Western toilets are on the same level. Usually there is nothing to divide the space between the two. So the buckets are often used with the toilets as well as to bathe with. And I imagine that there are plenty of lolruses missing their buckets because they are all in India.

  7. Emerald63 | May 24, 2013 at 2:09 PM |

    @anodean: LOL!

  8. Emerald63 | May 24, 2013 at 2:11 PM |

    @Frodo: I assume that the buckets which receive waste are NOT the ones used later for wash water? *Please* tell me I assume correctly!

  9. @Emerald63: The good news is that you don’t actually go in a bucket. You can use a small one to help flush a toilet because sometimes they don’t flush well. Also, you use them to clean yourself afterwards. Understand that Indians don’t typically use toilet paper. I bring my own, but you can’t flush it. So it’s also helpful to bring cleaning agents/disinfectants if you have a tendency to think too hard about it.

  10. @Frodo: I’ve sort of wondered about using water from a bucket instead of toilet paper in such conditions – considering how problematic water quality would have been before a bunch of people stuck their hands in a bucket of it for this task. Bring your own disinfectant, indeed…

  11. Emerald63 | May 25, 2013 at 12:09 PM |

    @anodean: Still better than a communal sponge on a stick, as was used at public latrines in ancient Rome. BTW, the latrines were also communal, a veritable 30-holer in colloquial terms. (O_o)


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