About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

9 Comments on "Rear View Render"

  1. “Miami coolest condo! A DREAM!!!”

    I suppose this is somewhat better than the place being haunted by quietly contemplative ghosts, a very unlikely prospect because the place simply hasn’t been built long enough to have contemplative ghosts.

    In fact, I am skeptical that this unit has been built at all, hence the Myst-like CGI presentation: a dream indeed, with a “construction date” of 2014 and money urgently needed up front.

  2. @anodean: But… but… ladies’ backsides!

  3. Commenting on listings like this are below my pay grade.

    You can tell me that this is luxurious, lavish, well-appointed, etc. I happen to like a certain amount of coziness and places like this look coldly institutional to me.

  4. @anodean: You nailed it. Google street view confirms – there’s no there there. Granted, I don’t know when the photos were taken, but the map copyright has already been upgraded to 2014. Does anyone know how to find out when the pics were taken?

  5. They kinda look like graphics to me and not photos.

    Agreed, Frodo — place looks cold.

  6. Oooh… where to start…

    I recognized the first image at this listing; it’s included in the developer’s projects display from our Dec 27 post. We already know how slick – and non-existent – that place is and, yup, here’s another one. Strike One.

    I did some research at Wikipedia about this bit from the description: “Miami First LEED certified landmark glass towers…” LEED is Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design, developed by the U.S. Green Building Council (USGBC), “a private 501(c)3, membership-based non-profit organization that promotes sustainability in how buildings are designed, built, and operated.” This sounds great but Alabama, Georgia, Maine, and Mississippi having “effectively banned” its use in new public buildings sounded hinky. The Benefits and Disadvantages section suggests that so far LEED smacks a bit of a racket, or perhaps a balm to make participants feel better about environmental efforts that are likely too little too late. This may explain the “bans.”

    To wit: “…analysis of energy and water use data from New York City shows that LEED certification does not necessarily make a building more energy or water efficient.” Say what now?! “LEED is a design tool and not a performance measurement tool. It is also not yet climate-specific…” (E.G., a building in Maine gets as many green points for water conservation as a building in Phoenix.) “On top of this, LEED is also not energy-specific.” That means participants can effectively game the system, choosing more easily attainable “green points” (like including outdoor “green spaces”) rather than ones best suited to create an actual, you know…energy efficient building.

    Add add to that higher construction costs (including the cost of LEED certification) and this sounds like a whole lot of window dressing to me, and not the kind that would block out daytime heat and nighttime cold. Seeing as how USBGC is a non-profit, I’m not sure what the incentive would be for them to develop such a complex certification system, one that’s expensive for participants and doesn’t always provide substantial benefit. I guess the “balm” effect, especially in balmy (aka hotter than hell) Miami must come into it. I can see potential for the LEED program and at least it’s gotten those involved talking and thinking about how to improve building performance. But as it stands it seems to have way too high a “hot air” feel to it. And ya know, that kinda doesn’t work for environmentally friendly construction. Strike Two.

    I also looked into “internationally famed BIG Architect Group.” This isn’t just an eye-catching adjective. It’s the erstwhile moniker of Danish based Bjarke Ingels Group. Mr. Ingels (Bjarke is his first name) has, perhaps tellingly, chosen this as his web address: http://www.big.dk. Sure, the .dk indicates Denmark, but golly the *wink-wink-nudge-nudge* factor still applies. (Let’s not forget the AEC – the Architect’s Ego Component.) There’s more info on this particular project here: http://www.big.dk/#projects-coco. That’ll get you around having to figure out which of about 150 cute little logo link buttons designate this project. I have to wonder how many other of those 150 or so have actually been built. But even if he’s only designed them and nothing more, Mr. Ingels is a busy boy.

    As for this one, I have to wonder about the advisability of 12′ glass walls on every side of 6000+ sq ft in Miami and I’m not even talking about energy costs. But Wait! There’s More!! There’s also the serious problem of it being in the Hurricane Plain. So what’s with the wonky building shape in that location? There are some minimalist diagrams with multiple $25 descriptions attached at the project link that explain the structural system, but I’ve forgotten too much about the math to pinpoint weaknesses. It just feels wrong somehow. I would hope it won’t get a building permit if the engineering is not thoroughly vetted, but having grown up in Kansas City I won’t hold my breath. Both the Hyatt Skywalks collapse and the Kemper Arena roof collapse happened there (within two years of each other) and the latter had even won international design awards. Strike Three.

    BTW… I’m thinking Mr. Ingels must be a Hitchcock fan. You know, what with the “rear” windows…

  7. @Emerald63: …and let us not forget, this entire high-quality hallucination is also poised above a very sweet little piece of former wetlands and/or dredge fill. You would not believe the effort required to drive foundation piers in downtown Miami. They can pound for months on some of those sites… which always made me look around and wonder about the ones where they didn’t.

  8. @Marty E.: …a beautiful dream, I grant you. Not worth the precipitous descent from upper floors when it dissolves on you, but perhaps worth risking an evening in the lounge. What’s the harm of dozen or so foot drop into a swamp, after all? :D

  9. @Emerald63: Oh…oh dear… Em…
    *wipes eyes*


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