Half a House, Full Price

Submission & commentary by Emerald63. Thanks!

891 N Venetian Dr., Miami Beach, FL 33139

What’s that old saying? Half a house is better than none? This place sure does look like it’s the result of a split-the-assets-down-the-middle divorce. I hope whoever kept this half got to keep his/her Ray Bans, too…

891 N Venetian Dr., Miami Beach, FL 33139

…because with loads of shiny materials, white walls, and a waterfront location in a sunny climate You. ARE. Going. To. Need. Them.

891 N Venetian Dr., Miami Beach, FL 33139

…and not just outside.

891 N Venetian Dr., Miami Beach, FL 33139

You arguably might need a pool, too, given the local temps. Too bad all you get is a hot tub. No nicely designed surroundings, though. But you do get a steam room! (O_o)

891 N Venetian Dr., Miami Beach, FL 33139

Oh, and what looks like an expansive sodalite stone island in the ground floor outdoor kitchen. It’s visually cooling, but yeah… no. For a Miami house who’s price has risen eight fold in less than two years, you really do need a pool.

[addendum by Marty] – Also: lizard!

891 N Venetian Dr., Miami Beach, FL 33139<

Found by: Emerald63

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

4 Comments on "Half a House, Full Price"

  1. Lots of nice, cold, hard, surfaces. It makes my arthritic joints ache just to look at it. Another really expensive place I could never be comfortable in.

  2. “Lizard!” So is this the Miami version of “Squirrel!”? LOL!!

    Believe it or not, that’s all I have to say. Already said what I wanted to in the commentary. :D

  3. Frodo – it’s damp, too – there’s nothing worse. I’ve had hardy, Maine natives tell me with horror of bundling up against 60 degrees of damp, Florida cold…

    Emerald – giant lizards are our friends: they eat so many of our enemies and are far less annoying than squirrels to boot! He’s the best selling point the place has got on offer. :D

  4. Emerald63 | July 15, 2014 at 1:23 PM |

    @Anodean: Yup, cold and damp is way worse than cold and dry. Of course hot and damp trumps them all. Maybe not for arthritis sufferers, but for anyone want not to keel over 10′ outside the front door.

    I kinda like iguanas. They’re not super cuddly like squirrels, but they have their place in the ecosystem and they do the job with gusto.


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