Someday I’ll Figure Out How To Desaturate Plants, And I Will Win

3333 Allen Pkwy #2804, Houston, TX 77019

You like color? Look outside.

3333 Allen Pkwy #2804, Houston, TX 77019

Or stare at your plants.

3333 Allen Pkwy #2804, Houston, TX 77019

That’s it. Those are your only two choices here.

3333 Allen Pkwy #2804, Houston, TX 77019

Bedroom? Desaturated. Bathroom? Desaturated.

3333 Allen Pkwy #2804, Houston, TX 77019

Oh, one more thing…

3333 Allen Pkwy #2804, Houston, TX 77019

Dead gazelle shrine for the win.

Found by: Christin C.

About the Author

Marty E.
Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

12 Comments on "Someday I’ll Figure Out How To Desaturate Plants, And I Will Win"

  1. I think the agent brought in at least some of the plants. I notice that the photo shoot must have lasted at least a few hours because the white roses (photos 15, 16, 13) opened up during the shoot.

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  2. FYI, we had some problems with comments this morning that was causing delays in things being posted. I think it’s all fixed now, though.

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  3. If anybody’s having trouble commenting, drop me a line and let me know. Thanks!

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  4. @Frodo: Not sure why they’d change the flowers, but the ones in Pic 13 look like roses or gardenias while the ones in Pics 15 and 16 are tulips. Perhaps the pics were from different days altogether?

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  5. This is reminiscent of the special effects used in movies/TV where just a portion of a picture is “desaturated” as a means to highlight it, or when an old black and white image has just a bit of color thrown in. The effect is especially pronounced in Pic 12. Such contrast can be really cool in 2D, but here in 3D it’s kinda creepy, like maybe some undead creature lives here and can’t quite grasp how to fake being alive. (~in a heavy Transylvanian accent~) “Oh… yes… they hov dis cawlor thing… how daws dat verk again?” All the dead animal parts lying around don’t help.

    An advantage of limited color, though, is really being able to go to town with pattern and texture, as in Pic 19, without blowing out one’s optic nerve. The 3 center items would compete mightily if they were surrounded by an array of colors. Here we can enjoy the interplay of slightly different patterns of equal complexity without sensory overload.

    I am curious, though… if, in an effort to seem mortal, the aforementioned undead creature attempted to procreate with the “Behold The Boat” post home (http://looneylisting.com/2014/08/01/behold-the-bold-boat/), just exactly what would their offspring look like?

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  6. @Emerald63: Well, I’ll be… Those are tulips. I need to increase the zoom in my browser.

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  7. I find myself wondering if this was actually an ingenious means of covering up rooms painted in day-glo neon shades of madness… long enough for prospective buyers to fall in love with the structural grace of the place. If so, it’s lister for the win! High-hide white and eggshell latex can be had in sufficient quantities. :D

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  8. @Anodean: So you mean… this place may actually be another “Behold the Boat” listing in disguise?! (O_o)

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  9. @Anodean: I had the same initial reaction; there was too little color for these to be unmodified photos. The Velvet Elvis Lion in the top photo, the Dead Horned Thing and the brass descender for the chandelier in the second, all look really wrong. And the plants have that “colorized classic movie” look. So I think these were either ‘shopped or else they were taken with strange lighting and/or some wicked filters.

    So, yeah… why?

    Also wonder if the backdrop in the dead gazelle shrine is real leather. “Kneel before me, o knave, and presenteth thou thine succulent offering [say that fast], lest I remove all color from thy sight!”

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  10. @Paradox: It had crossed my mind that the effect I described might be photographic and not reality. But I dismissed the thought because I couldn’t figure out why anyone would bother. Whatever colors may be there, they can’t be too intense regardless of hue or they would show up as much darker shades of… grey… Oh…

    Do you suppose this could be a subtle allusion to the novel, implying that this might be the special “playroom” of upscale “professionals”?

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  11. @Emerald63: I think we’re downwind of fifty a considerable piece. I would second Anodean’s speculation that the photographer was trying to bring out the best of the building, though I don’t think houses infested with dead animals are often done over in day-glo paint; too much nightmare material in that… :-D

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  12. @Paradox: I thinks my sir doth give humanity too much credit. Ne’er has humanity been at a disadvantage when inadvertently creating “nightmare material.” You’re a quick study, my friend, but I remind you that you are a relative newcomer to this, our happily horrific homes parade. Stick around – things get much weirder. Repeatedly.

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