“Live in a refuge of nature untamed”
Um… the “untamed nature” is kind of the main reason I have no interest in living in south Florida in the first place.
Can’t you just feel the “originality, attention to detail, and rich quality of community life” exuded by the developer?
I can feel it.
This is actually almost too bad to mock, but here goes.
Let’s start with naming a piece of swampland “Terra Ranches” as opposed to, say, “Terra Firma,” which would probably rate a complaint. It’s in an area which, until recently, FEMA listed as flooding one to three feet deep, flood insurance mandatory – but has now reclassified as “flood insurance not mandatory” because, as the township’s webpage helpfully illustrates, the developer has added *two feet of elevation*. I’ll pause to let you do the math.
Yes, even though this beautifully landscaped, carefully manicured little enclave of McMansions would appear the farthest thing from “untamed Nature,” I can about guarantee that the lucky new owners will encounter more of it than they are likely able to handle – much of it already planning to share their home, if not merely squelching through their yard.
“Untamed nature”?! The rendering shows the landscaping in this place is going to be manicured to hell and back. At least till that first hurricane comes through. Then “untamed” is going to seem like the understatement of the decade. And I’m pretty sure the local gator population (not to mention non-native pythons) just won’t give a hoot that the 11 private sites are electronically gated. Further, given the place already gets the 1-3′ of flooding Anodean mentioned, it sounds like it’s gonna be first on the hit list when sea levels really start to climb.
Not satisfied with making foolish statements about nature, the developers also make fools of themselves spouting this little gem: “prairie-style ranch homes exude modern architecture.” Wait, what?
Gaffe No.1 – These ain’t ranch homes. Ranch homes are single story, not two story. And, no, they do not look like they’d be found on any self-respecting, authentic ranch.
Gaffe No.2 – “Prairie-style” and “modern architecture” do not exactly embrace one another. While Wright’s original prairie-style was modern for its time, it’s not even close to what is now considered modern architecture.
Gaffe No.2.5 – “Contemporary finishes w/high volume ceilings… [and] spectacular floor to ceiling glass views” are also not part of Prairie Style architecture, which was focused on natural materials and long, low lines.
Anodean, you really nailed it when you labeled these McMansions. And just like McFood isn’t real food, these aren’t real mansions, just cheap (looking) cookie cutter copies.