Warm & Inviting
For some salespeople, the Internet is just a fancy sales brochure. Wow, this condo building is so warm and inviting! Is that a bedroom or…
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Two-Toned Terror
Wow. That is a lot of grey and blue. What kind of person builds a one-color house like that? I guess the same kind of…
The Littlest Reservation
100% tasteful. Located on a $2.25 million half-acre lot in Malibu. Fully stocked. Oh look, lemons! Inside is mostly bland, except for this bathroom… Why…
“You’re on the beach.”
There isn’t really anything all that amusing about the photos on this one, but the listing description is hall of fame material: You’re on the…
Convert to Desert Living for this Amazing Custom House
We’re back! Happy 2015! Enjoy this crazy and amazing desert home, via The Verge. If I had to choose one word for this home, it…
Stamp Collector’s Dream
This $3.5 million listing has four photos. The first two are duplicates. Is that a dog… drinking from a pool? I love how the watermark…
Hope Springs Eternal
Submission, title, and commentary by Emerald63. Thanks! As in, hope you have a whopping $25M if you like this… house. Or has the Mother Ship…
Boom. Headshot.
Is it supposed to look like the blue man is being shot? Because that is what it looks like to me. Other than the interesting…
Look at My Luxury. Loooook At It!
My luxury stove. Look at it. My luxury wall. Look at it. My luxury hand. Make peace with it. My luxury movie room. Behold it…
It’s All In The Details
That’s an… interesting floor. Okay let’s be clear here. This is a freakin’ mansion. With a list price over $6 million. The photo selection is…
Paint and Tile ALL THE COLORS!
Um. Whoa. Where do you even get bathroom tile like that. I mean seriously. As the submitter commented to me: “these owners aren’t afraid of…
This is (apparently) how you sell a $5M Malibu Estate
Crooked, blurry primary photo, taken from an odd angle? Check. Weirdly-sparse, poorly-lit interior shot? Check. Horribly exposed shot of the view, taken through a window…
$85 Million Buys a Lot of Goodies
Do you ever get the feeling that some listings are less about selling the house… …and more about showing off the owner’s cool toys and…
San Francisco’s Most Expensive Listing is a Replica of Marie Antoinette’s Private Getaway
With an asking price of 18 million dollars, you’d expect to be impressed—even in San Francisco, where a mediocre 1,100 square-foot row house goes for…
Behold This $2M Kitchen
Behold the two million dollar kitchen. Two million dollar weeds. And the two million dollar living room, with the two million dollar floor. Listing claims…
Metal Penguin Just Wants a Hug
Lots of interesting sculpture in this one. Starting with the yard full of metal animals… …continuing on the deck with the arms-up ladies. Another arms-up…